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02/16/2012 07:50 AM

Sticks And Stones

hypnagogic
hypnagogic  
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I was speaking to my neurobiofeedback (that's a mouthful) therapist the other day. She was telling me about the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." That's not true. She is actually a Ph.D in neurobio and if someone slapped the crap out of me, the brain would light up due to the slap. If someone were to call me some kind of derogatory and insulting name, the brain would light up as if I had been slapped. So, to say that "words will never hurt me" is a fallacy. Words indeed leave scarring and we have science to back it up.
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02/16/2012 10:35 AM
lken
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i can understand that one, the stuff we get from tauts of peers in school, it is just as damaging, start to believe it, start maybe they are right, then the self hate stuff, and think what is wrong with me? maybe i am not normal.

then after a ptsd experience, your life starts shutting down.


02/16/2012 12:20 PM
pirateprincess421
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This brings back bad memories. From this we learn that people cant say hurtful things to us and get away with it. We are told not to speak up for ourselves and be respected. Took me years to figure this one out.

The other one is "turn the other cheek". Yeah right, you learn that people can abuse you and take advantage over you.

Why aren't these sayings obsolete yet. It just re-enforces the bully role.

Post edited by: pirateprincess421, at: 02/16/2012 12:21 PM


02/16/2012 12:29 PM
hypnagogic
hypnagogic  
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Exactly. This bull role just cycles and the damage that it can do has lasting effects. I am literally watching it happen right before my eyes every day and I feel so completely helpless.

02/17/2012 04:43 AM
ZadieBlue
ZadieBluePosts: 4547
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I try to take into consideration the person stupid enough to say such things to me. If they are clearly sad, pathetic human beings trying to deflect their pain, I pay very little attention and occasionally find it funny. If I must, I have the ability to disable people verbally (while remaining calm), but I'll only do this in defense. Most of the mean people out there are stupid and very, very sad and trying to use you to make themselves feel better. That's how I see it.

Zadie


02/17/2012 08:56 AM
lken
lken  
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i understand that part of others , having to lash out to cover up there on problems, when you are a kid with bad self image, and it stays locked into deep reaches of the mind and confuses the old me. how do we reach that part, change the self talk? that was then and this is now? leo

02/17/2012 10:58 AM
pirateprincess421
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Leo that is a good question. I try to get really angry now when I am talked to poorly. I don't enjoy getting angry but I was never allowed as a kid, now I am able to speak my mind. Now granted this is only with my husband and my mom. I don't speak when dealing with mean people. It usually triggers me and I suffer until I can let it go.

02/17/2012 11:14 AM
lken
lken  
Posts: 2827
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mine was like this, i was a fat kid and my self image was bad, so i would stuff, as i got bigger and tougher, i would still bottle, then explode and got in a lot of fights, i got pretty good at it, and fight more than one person, that was a kid, i know i can not fight like that anymore, but the stuffings is still there.

02/19/2012 04:51 AM
ZadieBlue
ZadieBluePosts: 4547
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I'll always think I'm fat. In high school people would say, "You'd be so pretty if you just lost some weight". One of my "friends" bought me a calorie counting calculator for my birthday. Bitch.

Zadie

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