I was raised with a firm belief in the traditional American thinking. That included large family gatherings on holidays. Even many extended family, and friends, came to our home for them. My mom's kitchen was filled with constant cooking for 3-4 days prior. Dozens of people would come, some even stayed all day, holiday mealtime was always around noon. Everyone overate, and grazed throughout the day, and watched football and parades.
That ended when I was 20 and my mom died from cancer. Suddenly everything changed, nothing was as I believed it to be or how I knew our life. Each member of my immediate family went seperate ways.
I remember spending that first Thanksgiving home alone, crying. It took years before I participated in holidays again, I began again due to my nieces and nephews. However, my family as I knew it was dead. The things I was taught to believe in were irrelevant. With the birth of my daughter I found a purpose, a reason to rekindle family traditional holidays.
Last year my nephew died of cancer the week before Thanksgiving, my pops died the day after. This year I do not have my custody of my daughter. I will once again sit alone.
But I have loved ones, friends, that have much heavier weight this holiday. Several have lost a child in death, for one of my oldest friends' Thanksgiving is the anniversary of her son's death...he was only 5 when it happened.
My heart, my empathy, my prayers, reach out to them, and any like them. I will not sit alone and cry as i did at 20 years old. I will pray for strength for others in need.
Many people ask around the Thanksgiving table, "what are you thankful for?" I am sitting at a symbolical table and thankful for God in my life, His grace, undeserved kindness, the hope. I am thankful for every person in my life that I have the opportunity of loving. I am thankful for my daughter, who's love for me is unconditional, as mine is for her. For these are true gifts.
