Bipolar dealing with PTSD Support Group

The reason why I am joining is twofold. One is that I was raped when I was 16 by my boss who was in his 40s. He got me drunk first and then it took place. That is how I lost my virginity. My response was to just bury it for years like it never happened. I didn't acknowledge it until I was in my 40s in a group therapy setting. Needless to say, I fell apart. I still grapple with the wondering of how would I feel if I ran into this guy. I think I would lose it.

The other reason I am joining is because I was a victim of an armed robbery at knife point in my own home in the middle of the night when two men kicked in my front door. I had a roommate who share house payments with me and they beat up the two of us before they left with a lot of our stuff in my car. When my husband is gone I keep all the lights on in the house and a knife under my pillow. I don't do well at all. It haunts me. When I had to go try to pick the guys out of a line up it was extremely triggering and I didn't have medications then. No Ativan. They never caught them and so even though the locks were changed and I have a new car, I still live in the same house.

So that's my story in a nutshell. I hope I can be a support as much as I get support. Thanks for letting me join.

I hope you cqan get the support you seek and I'm sure you have some wisdom that will help us all.

I prefer the all metal framing hammer. Had to make one 'Instant Hindu' out of a guy kicking in my door. Had a big red lump on his forehead.

I haven't had any problems since.

Post edited by: cptblack, at: 09/17/2011 02:27 PM

I live in an old farmhouse that my grandfather built. Up until last summer, we had no AC, so the windows were open day and night, and the door were open during the day (screen doors) We also have a good 26+ acres behind the house of strictly woods. When I moved in it was just my daughters and myself, so we had a big stray dog come to the house and put him on a running line in the back yard, and I had a staffie (Staffordshire Bull Terrier) in the house. Short legs, but jaws like a shark, deep bark, too.

Besides that...LOL...we collect medieval weaponry and have much of it displayed on the walls...LOL

kat

Your story is most certainly heartbreaking. I have a fear of someone coming into/breaking into my home too. If someone knocks on the door it sends me reeling with instant anxiety.

I spent a few years where I couldn't watch the news. I do not go anywhere at night, or when it is dark out, by myself. I would if I had to but otherwise I am terrified of it.

It is strange how these experiences can have such a strong hold on us even though the physical danger is no longer present. Does your BP amplify your PTSD?

You are such a strong soul, uppity. Thank you for sharing that with us. Another step towards healing.