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Bipolar and PTSD ForumsGeneral & SupportI can't stand it!
10/10/2010 04:36 PM
bpiiallen
bpiiallen
 
Posts: 16371
VIP Member

I just can't stand the way I am feeling. I don't know if I am happy or sad. I am anxious and my heart if racing. I feel like I could run a marathon and cry at the same time. There are no words to say what is going on inside my head. I feel guilt, shame, anger, hopelessness, and despair all the while just pacing and crawling out of my skin. there have been so many things going on in a short amount of time and I am losing control. I never really had control so I guess I don't have anything to lose. I'm desprate!
My friends call me Dani.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up."
Charlie Brown


Sometimes the strongest women
Are the ones who love beyond all faults
Cry behind closed doors
And fight battles no one knows about.
Reply

10/10/2010 07:15 PM  Top
Irishangel88
Irishangel88
 
Posts: 4933
VIP Member

Best thing to do when that happens? get crayons (or paint) and just express yourself. Doesn't matter what comes of it, just matters that it gets OUT of your head.
Diamonds are only made under extreme pressure. So let's sparkle baby :)

She looked in the mirror and thought today....what happened to miss no longer afraid?
Kelly Clarkson- "Miss Independent"

"If you can't handle me at my worst you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Marilyn Monroe

I am not a doctor, and I don't take referrals :)

10/11/2010 05:06 AM  Top
TexasYankee
TexasYankee
 
Posts: 4286
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Coloring. Fantastic idea. I do that when I am VERY restless. The only damn thing that can keep me parked to ride out the rollercoaster ride. I need to get me another grown up coloring book. I finished my Celtic one.

I hate feeling like you do too. And I do, often. I have klonopin to help with the anxiety but it does nothing for the pacing other than make me want a nap or something. Sometimes, a nap is the only cure for me when I can nap. Lately, that isn't an issue. I sleep way too much right now.

Hang in there and remember, as much as this sucks, it will pass. The only comfort to a bipolar is that "it too shall pass". The sucky part is "it too shall return again". It will be alright. You aren't alone, hon.

Blessings, strength and courage to all.
Angela


~"Faith makes things possible.....not easy!"

~ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. " You have to want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."- Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers

~Have faith. Without faith there is no hope. Without hope there is nothing.

Although I may be knowledgeable, I am not a doctor, therapist or any other professional in this area. My experiences and opinion are just that. Hopefully others can relate though. :)

10/11/2010 06:22 AM  Top
HiddenButterfly
HiddenButterfly
 
Posts: 4606
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

You are dealing. You are coping with all that is going on. Your uncle just died. That alone is going to make you have a ton of mixed emotions. Let the emotions flow and allow them tyo be expressed in a healthy way. Be it writing, coloring, painting, artwork, crafts, ripping up a phonebook, beating the bed with a tennis racket, whateverallow those feelings to come out. If you have the cash, go to a second hand store (goodwill, or the salvation army are great) and buy the ugliest set of dishes you can find. Take them to the woods and throw each peice at a tree, or large boulder. Before throwing them, say one negative thing that was told to you. Then imagine that thought as being the dish. When it smashes, see the thought breaking into a million peices. Then, if you can, replace the thought with something positive.

Brenda

Mothers tell your children
Be quick you must be strong
Life is full of wonder
Love is never wrong
Remember how they taught you
How much of it was fear
Refuse to hand it down
The legacy stops here

“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.”

-Winston Churchill

10/11/2010 01:00 PM  Top
UpdownGirl
UpdownGirl
 
Posts: 165
Member

I love the dish idea. I have often broken things I wish I hadn't thrown before? Goodwill here I come. BP I hope you feel better soon. It sounds like you are having a terrible mixed episode. I have those and they are unbearable. Make sure you keep your doctor apprised of what's happening to you. Different or more medication may help. I have emergency low doses of Seroquel I can take when things start getting bad. It really helps.
Bipolar I, Mixed, rapid cycling PTSD, Fibromyalgia

Meds:
Saphris 20mg
Trileptal 1200 mg
Amantadine
Lamictal 300 mg
Clonazepam 1mg 3x day
Metformin 500 mg
Propranalol
Risperdone
Switching slowly to Latuda
Benztropine

Previous discussions I participated in:
constant yawning
bipolar question
total panic tonight
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