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08/12/2010 12:25 PM

Not sure I'm in the right place

RitaCeleste
RitaCeleste  
Posts: 293
Member

Well, Two kids and a lot of overeating and I found myself back at 235 pounds three years ago. I'd tried all kinds of diets. I ended up doing Atkins. Finally after about two years, I got to where I could stick to it better. It took away my apatite so well, I ended up having to choke down my food. Nothing tasted good. When I went off of it and tried to eat "normal" I was starving all the time. I'd end up in the kitchen eating and eating and never feeling full. I'd gain ten pounds back then go right back on Atkins and keep trying. I'm down 80 pounds. Once as a teen I got underweight, I took my first diet too far. I ended up afraid of ever being underweight. I think I've never reached my goal weight because I'm afraid the right weight is just too close to the wrong weight. I'm wearing my extra pounds like a security blanket. Some days I don't want to eat enough. Other days I want a break from worrying over my weight and I eat things I shouldn't. Top it off, I've got to quit smoking and I eat to reward myself for not smoking. Its like I have two eating modes, stand on the scales every hour and not want to eat. Or forget the scales and eat whatever I want. And while I'm gaining weight, not caring, I feel normal. I know it isn't normal, but it feels better than asking myself if I could loose a pound if all I ate was a protein shake for the day.
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08/13/2010 06:43 AM
Peace4Rach
Peace4Rach  
Posts: 9116
VIP Member

Hi Rita, I think you are in the right place. I have two kids also and yes, alot of overeating. My life feels so stressful and chaotic and I suppose that's how my eating is too. Welcome to the group. Rachele

08/13/2010 08:22 AM
RitaCeleste
RitaCeleste  
Posts: 293
Member

I do better with the binge eating part now. But not so sure of myself when I don't have a cig to reach for when I'm stressed. I then go for corn chips and ice-cream. The pounds pile on, then I go sneak a cig. Then I'm sneaking cigs and dieting, saying I'll quit later, when I'm smaller. I just want to be done with the cigs and be able to control the eating. I've learned so much in the last three years about how my body does with certain kinds of food. I know I should know better by now.

08/16/2010 09:41 PM
Sonni
Sonni  
Posts: 1960
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Welcome RitaCeleste!

Binge eating IS chaos at its best! Chaos in our lives equal Anxieties equal binges in order to calm from the chaos. Its a vicious cycle that feeds and breeds on our anxieties.

Set yourself up with a different type of reward system. Instead of using food as a reward, call a friend, post your reward moment here, spend time reading or get your family involved by playing a game, walk the dog etc... find different ideas for yourself to reward yourself. Do something for yourself that you enjoy...NOT FOOD RELATED or Cigarette related.

Maybe your doctor can help you get the patches or gum to help satisfy the cravings. Agreed, its difficult to quit 2 addictions at the same time. Ask your doctor's help and share your concerns with him/her about the best course of action for you to take.

Hug Yourself for Me for losing 80lbs and keeping it off! Good Show of Will Power!

Welcoming Hugs,

Sonni


12/01/2012 08:51 PM
asiastory
asiastory  
Posts: 4
New Member

i'm not sure if I'm at the right place either. I hate myself. I eat well for a while then I go off the deep end. I'm soo ugly. i've got to get liposuction it's the nly answer
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