Bile Duct Cancer Support Group

Irene, Steve did have that "spurt" of recovery you talked about. But only for 1 day. He got up, ate very good, held good long conversations with us, and the very next day, he was back to being bedridden and not eating. He never ate again. He went to the bathroom (urine) all the way to the end in the toiled (would not let us put depends on him) and other than that, never got up again. He started breathing very rapidly, chest going high and low, eyes only open half way, but he appeared to be in a coma, there were signs of pain (moving about, moving legs, strainging in the face) so we gave meds every 4 hrs, even when he could no longer ask for it, that helped a lot. In a two week period, he went from functional and mobile, to bedridden, not eating,not drinking, not talking... and the last day, the heavy breath worsened, and the 'death rattle' began..which he did for about 10 hours..and then he took one final breath, turned his head, and he was gone. Diagnosed 10/16/2008 and died 3/7/2009. That's fast, too fast, and it's very very painful to watch them deteriorate daily, and then finally, to watch them die. This is a HORRIBLE disease and if there are any questions I can help answer for anyone else, please let me know. I wish I had some honest answers when I was looking.

Good luck and prayers to all!

-- Lynne

Lynne i am so very sorry for your loss. hang in there!!! have faith in God and should you need someone to talk to you can call me at 561-584-2291. i will pray for you and your family. trust God that Steve is in a much better place and no longer suffers. My heart felt sympathy to you and your family....Irene

Irene, thank you so much. You'd think that him being relieved of suffering would make this easier...and in some ways, it definitely does, but there's still the element of loss and complete aghast at the hiddeousness of this disease. Which is why I'm here I suppose, to be honest, and to help ANYone I possibly can who are going through this. My pain for my brother will be a permanent part of my life...and yet I still know that, some day, I'll be reconnected with him...and I sooooooo look forward to seeing him again..healthy, happy, pain and suffering FREE.

Thank you for your condolences...I feel so deeply for ALL on this site.

Take care,

Lynne

Hi Irene....sorry not to have posted in a while. My brother did pass on March 7, and I've been preoccupied and saddened to my core with that. It went mostly like you said. During his final two weeks, at first, he had some good days...then he couldn't eat at all..he still had us walk him to the bathroom...right up to last day...but he was semi-coma most of the time, no more talking, no more eating, no more drinking... so we just kept up pain meds for every 4 hours, as we wanted to MAKE SURE he felt no pain. Finally, and 10th day, the death rattle began and it lasted for about 10 hours..and his breathing was very labored and heavy...and then we heard a little "trickle" in his breath, he took one last gasp, turned his head and he was gone forever. I'm so glad I was with him...telling him we loved him and we know he loved us....but seeing his death has changed me to the core of my being. I miss him horribly, fought franctically to help him and save him, both me and sister did all we could... but in the end, this cancer is a life taker..and we had to let go. I pray that all others get some miracle and are able to get early diagnosis for their loved ones, as otherwise, their's little hope. Not to be discouraging..but to be real, and honest, and give true life experience...cuz when I was looking for information, there really wasn't any "true stories" and I wish I knew what was "coming" so I could help him better and prepare my sister and I. We never had a chance.

Prayers for you and your family Irene. I hope time moves quickly for now so you can begin to heal with Godspeed.

--Grieving,

-- Lynne

Dear Lynne

Just sending a note to see how you and your family are holding up. It will take at least one year before some relief comes. I am still mourning the loss of My beloved Ronny. I am now reading a book called Healing Grief by James Van Praagh. It is helping me to come to terms with my loss. If there is anything I can do to be of help or comfort to you, please let me know.

You are in my prayers....Irene

Hi Irene. Thanks for the note. It's going ok. It still feels like there is a huge hole/void in my life...and I've not wanted to fill it up with anything else right now. Time. I'm still contemplating on doing something to somehow help Bile Duct Cancer patients...but not sure what I can do. Giving that a lot of thought. How are you and your family doing? Anything I can do to help?

All the best...- Lynne

Prayer and keep in touch. I'm still having a hard time because of the huge void in my life now that Ronny is gone. I also am giving a lot of thought on how to help people with/or with a loved one tha has Bile Duct Cancer. if i think of anything i let you know. thank u for being there...Irene

Irene...it's one thing to have a "well meaning" friend to offer sympathy and say they know what you're going through. It's quite different to talk to someone who HAS been through it. Both friends are equal and are of great value....it's just that you can relate to the person who went through the same nightmare. All that to say this....if you EVER need to talk, cry, vent...about Ronny, about Cancer, about life.. about anything....please don't hesitate to contact me. My personal email is lynnysa@att.net and my facebook name is Lynne Andrews. I wish you all the best and welcome contact anytime. Ronny would love knowing how much you still, and always will, love him!!! -- Lynne

Lynne

Thanks so much for your kindness. I so agree because although people mean well they have no idea how painful and tragic this cancer is. how it consumed my beloved Ronny. I am so glad we met and I look forward always to hearing from you. my personal email is ronnys_love@hotmail.com or grahamma59@yahoo.com my face book name is irene diaz. i also am here for you no matter what it is you need. you can count on me to be there and to console you in anyway i can. My prayers and hopes for you to begin to heal are ever present.

your friend

irene

Will chat with ya on facebook!!