Bereavement Support Group

Hi,

It is one month today since I lost my beautiful Mum.. She was 63 and was everything to me.. a wonderful mother and my absolute best friend... Mum was getting ready to go shopping, she wanted to try and start a business as she loved all things to do with crafting, she was always making things so she was going shopping to get some supplies...she started feeling sick and had such terrible pain in her head, neck, arms and legs then she was sick.. When we arrived at the hospital she was screaming in pain, oh my poor mum, i'm sorry i'm crying now.. she eventually got some morphine, and they took her for a scan...she had suffered a massive bleed in her brain..she was in a coma within hours of her feeling ill...She died the next day sunday 20th of february from a grade 4 aneurysm, she never stood a chance...I was so lucky to have her in my life, she was the most loving and supportive mum and as i got older I got to know what an amazing woman she was... I miss her so much, I'm dying inside, i dont think i can cope without her here

Lou

xxx

Hi Lou, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum. I lost my mom nearly 4 years ago this August. Her death was sudden to and unexpected. My mom was 65, docs didn't pick up a serious infection that spread through all her organs. She dies on life support of sepsis and pneamonia. There were no verbal goodbyes, no hugs no I love you, no I'll miss you. It was heartbreaking to loose my mom and my friend. I still miss her each and every day. The first year or two were the hardest. It gests easier to where you don't sob each day but the my heart not a day goes by I don't think of her. I will always miss her as long as I live. Welcome to the group. Share anytime. Hope you will find some needed support here. Rachele

Lou, the loss of a parent so suddenly and unexpected must be very difficult. We are all here to listen and support you. It really does help to have a group of folks that you know are there to help you through this most difficult time.

Hello, Lou. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. My own mother passed away a little over 10 years ago, when I was just 17, so I can sympathize. I agree that it does help to have people to talk to, especially when they have gone through the same thing. *HUGS*

Hello Lou. Please feel free to pour your heart out here whenever you want.

You will go on because of your Mum and the woman she was. Take your strength from all your loving memories with her.

Loosing her so quickly without warning, is really really hard. No time to prepare yourself.

When my son died, I started an online journal which has helped a lot, besides the grief groups that I joined.

The grieving journey is a rollercoaster rode and a very bumpy one at that. Hang on tight, that's all you can do.

My heart goes out to you.

Sue

thank you all for these kind words, you have no idea how it feels to have someone to listen or to talk to...you are all amazing, taking time out to speak to me when you are greiving too, I am so very sorry for your loss i hope i will be able to help others the way you are supporting me thank you... i have been trying to block the horror of losing mum out..but it feels like i am getting worse as time passes by is this normal? i feel so guilty that i should have got her to hospital sooner, i should have made her go and not let her keep saying all she needed was a rest and painkillers then when she said ok i'll go to hospital (she knew something was wrong), she wanted me to help her get changed and do her make-up (which i did)...i shouldve got her there sooner i shouldnt have listened to her ...i just didnt want to stress her out, i just wanted to keep her calm and do what she wanted, i figured stressing her would make what was wrong with her worse... i didnt want her to think i thought it was serious because i knew that would upset her and stress her, but it never once crossed my mind that my mum wouldnt come home, i thought she was maybe having a mini stroke or something..i didnt know...i just cant forgive myself for not getting her to hospital sooner or the fact i didnt get to say anything about how much i loved her or thank her or tell her she was my whole world...i hate myself for getting it all wrong..maybe they couldve have done something, the doctor said it wouldnt have made any difference her bleed was so severe but i think she was just saying that... just cant believe she's gone it's like a nightmare...i see her and hear her when i dream, i hate sleeping cause she is always there like she is alive, then i wake up and im devastated..just so tired

Lou

xxx

Hello Lou.

I know exactly how you feel from day to day. I lost my mum 6 months ago to liver cancer and it was so sudden we only had 3 weeks to get ready for it. She went to hospital for standard operation and 3 weeks later we lost her. We had time to say our goodbyes and show her how much we loved her by taking care of her. But im eaten by guild now of not noticing it or doing anything about it sooner. She knew in herself something wasnt right for a long time but she never wanted to know anything and thats why she would always refuse to go to doctors just for check ups. It was her choice not to fight with it and not to go through horrible procedures you have to go through when you got a cancer and we have to respect that but its very hard. Only cause you will always blame yourself for what happened and think you could have done more. But you couldn't. you just simply have to come to terms with the fact that there wasnt anything else for you to do, you couldnt predict it or change it. Thinking about it and blaming yourself its not going to change what happened so its not much point to make yourself ill. I know that the best. Cause your mum would tell you off for taking it on youself and blaming yourself, she would tell you if she could to move on with your life and be happy cause thats how she would want to see you!! It has been a very bumpy ride for me so far and it has been unbelievably hard for me. Im only 26 and my mummy was only 54 when we lost her so i feel like i have been cheated by life cause i wont have my mum there in the most important moments of my life when i b getting married or will have children myself. But in the same time i have to remind myself to be grateful for every moment i have had with her and for what a great childhood and life she has given me. We have to be grateful for what we had. I feel like its only getting harder and harder cause it seems to hit you more with time passing by but i believe that I just have to get through this and one day it will get easier to live with. Sorry i got carried away with my writing. I wish you all the luck and all the strength you will need to get through every day!!

monika

xx