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Bereavement Community Bereavement Support Forums General & Support Honoring Transition
 

Honoring Transition


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04/25/2008 11:11
singingangel
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 I didnt let things hit me until 2 months after her death. Then the holidays were coming and my bday. It was almost too much for me. I had to arrange for the headstone, and finish doing things for her death. It was hard but then I knew I had to let myself feel the grief and get support from here. Everyone is different. You are alright. You just need to find a way to celebrate her that wont be offensive to others. hugs
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04/25/2008 14:40
ilovepetey1
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 I think my denial is so intense partly because my folks live in New Jersey, (at least now my dad does) and I live in Connecticut and we saw them every 3-4 months, altho we talked on the phone at least once a week. Of course the last 6 months my mom was in the hospital off and on so I was there a lot. Now I am back in Connecticut and I am strangely in my brain thinking that she is still in New Jersey and fine. When I go there on the 1st and go to the cemetary it's gonna put me in shock or something. This is just too weird.

Leslie
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04/25/2008 17:13
singingangel
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 It will be hard. It is easy to want her to still be in Jersey but shes not. I will affect you. Just take big breaths when you go and dont be afraid to talk to her grave or cry. The tears will be healing. I know you are going to feel a bit surreal again. It is alright. It is a part of the grieving process. Know she will always be a part in your heart.

Big hugs and a shoulder for you.

Lori
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04/26/2008 04:45
Snoopy30
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 I was given a book by a friend of mine called "motherless daughters" it basically talks to several different women who have lost their mothers a different ages. It is very interesting and in some ways theraputic. I have yet been able to read the whole thing however there a things that have helped me understand some of the feelings and things I have experienced. I must warn it can be a real tear jerker at times but I do recommend it, there is such a special bond between mothers and daughters
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04/26/2008 05:29
ilovepetey1
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 Yep, my daughter and I are SO bonded it scares me sometimes. I feel like I need to be preparing her for my death so she can handle it okay. There is also a very strong yet slightly different bond with my son, we are SOOO close it scares me. I will look for the book because there is also another book I have to buy. I have such a difficult time reading and comprehending what I'm reading. I haven't been able to read a book in years, I just skip around the pages. Its one of the list of things I really miss.
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04/26/2008 07:07
ilovepetey1
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 I've been in denial for a year.
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04/26/2008 07:07
ilovepetey1
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 I like it here in denial.

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04/26/2008 07:08
ilovepetey1
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 Why do I have to leave denial?
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04/26/2008 15:13
singingangel
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 It is necessary for us to move into reality. Yes our loved ones will be looking down at us, etc. We must move through into a healthy stage where yes we will never forget and will at times miss but doesnt consume our lives. I am sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts. Here is my good shoulder.

Lori
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04/26/2008 15:13
singingangel
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 It is necessary for us to move into reality. Yes our loved ones will be looking down at us, etc. We must move through into a healthy stage where yes we will never forget and will at times miss but doesnt consume our lives. You should try to read a little at a time. thats what I did. Now I am able to enjoy reading again.

I am sorry for your loss. I wish I could make it be easier for you. You are in my thoughts. Here is my good shoulder. I am here for you.

Lori

Post edited by: singingangel, at: 04/26/2008 17:16
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