MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
06/23/2009 02:03 PM

Dale's Anniversary

snichols11
snichols11  
Posts: 458
Senior Member

June 23 is the one year anniversary of the day I found out my best friend was dead. As I recall, it was around 4 PM that I received a call from our mutual friend. He told me that Dale's dad found Dale in his apartment...and he wasn't breathing. My heart sunk into the pit of my stomach. I felt my face, head and neck get covered in cold tingling chills. The wind was knocked out of me. It was positively the worst moment of my life. The days that followed were full of sorrow, disbelief, confusion, tears.

I called his parents today. I was posting a message on his memorial site and I heard his voice inside my head say: Call my parents.

It was hard, but I did. I am so glad. We talked, we cried, his mom told me how glad she was that he had a friend like me and I just lost it.

I will never forget Dale. I will never stop loving and missing him. It will always hurt. Today is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Some days are, some aren't as much as you expect them to be.

For those of you who are new to grief...it's always hard. Don't be afraid to let go a little. You will always hurt. You will always remember. You will always love.

Reply
 

06/23/2009 02:09 PM
Lilsis
Lilsis  
Posts: 1581
Senior Member

Sara im sure today is one day that will forever been burned in your mind and moreso your heart. The ache re=awakens i hear it in your post. I am so sorry it hurts you so but its what we are all left with, the ache the emptiness and the memories both good and final. I am proud that you shared with his parents on this day. I know with fathers day being right before this week will undoubtably be a trying one for you. Take your time, rememeber your dear Dale and please know it is the love you speak through......he can hear you as anyone of us can.

Hugs to you!

Karen xx


06/23/2009 06:42 PM
AndysCandi

Hi sara,

I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm glad you are posting about it...it helps one take it from their mind and get it out on paper...I haven't been able to do much of that with my father's death.

Here's a lil prayer for u

Ange


06/23/2009 08:29 PM
Peace4Rach
Peace4Rach  
Posts: 9116
Group Leader

Dear Sara, My thoughts are with you as this day draws to an end and I just reading today is the 1 year anniversary of Dale's death. My one year was the worst week of my life, aside from the day I found out my mom died. You are right in that you will always miss him and have a place in your heart for him. I hope you and other's made it through father's day. I was away and just got back. I have yet to wish my dear dad a happy father's day. Just got back and in work. Time goes so fast and it's scary to think at any moment something could change and someone could be gone. It only makes us realize, all the more just how short and precious our lives are. Hugs to you Sara and here if you need anything. Rachele

Post edited by: Peace4Rach, at: 06/23/2009 08:30 PM


06/24/2009 08:02 AM
southern10
southern10  
Posts: 2160
VIP Member

Hugs Sarah. Im sorry for your pain you are going through. The anniversaries,holidays are the hardest...There are days that I can cry at things that remind me of my mother...Our loved ones will always be in our heart forever.. Hugs to you...

06/24/2009 11:39 AM
snichols11
snichols11  
Posts: 458
Senior Member

Thanks for all your support and encouragement, everyone. It means a lot. I keep hoping I'll see him, dream of him, looking for clues and signs...but nothing is perfectly clear.

06/24/2009 06:48 PM
Peace4Rach
Peace4Rach  
Posts: 9116
Group Leader

You know we are always here for you, Sara. I guess signs is what we all want and seek comfort in. There are some really good books out there, that talk about signs and afterlife communication. Sometimes, we can overlook signs. We have our own idea of the signs, which may be different, than what is actually sent and received. You may find some comfort and clarity in reading some books. If you have an interest. Let me know or PM me and I could give you some good titles to read.

06/24/2009 09:10 PM
stephimm
stephimm  
Posts: 181
Member

Sara, I'm thinking of you. You're right that nothing is perfectly clear. We take what we have and try to make sense of it, but so many times it simply doesn't make sense. (((hugs)))

06/25/2009 12:41 PM
snichols11
snichols11  
Posts: 458
Senior Member

Well, last night Phil & I went ot Detroit to see the Detroit Tigers/Chicago Cbus play. our two favroite teams. It was also the park where my profile picture was taken of me & my dad last August. He was a huge Tigers fan. I brought some of his ashes to hopefully put on the field.

During the game, Phil wanted to go on the ferris wheel at the park. While we were on it, he pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him. I said yes! It was a very magical moment, and with my dad's ashes in my purse, I felt like he was part of it.

I couldn't get them on the field, but I did sprnkle some on the hedges in the outfield. I know my dad is there forever. It was also nice that now this time of year has some positive connotations as well, instead of just remembering Dale's death.

I am sure that everything happens for a reason. I know Dale & my dad are happy for me. Last night, I dreamed of my dad. We talked, took a walk, and just hung out at home for awhile. It was really nice. It felt like he was really there. Also, I've been awakened twice this month by feeling someone stand over me when I am asleep. Although it feels weird, I think it's my dad.


06/25/2009 07:59 PM
Peace4Rach
Peace4Rach  
Posts: 9116
Group Leader

Wow, Sara Congratulations! I have had so many experiences, that left me saying, this must be divine intervention, or this feels like mom had a part or hand in this. Yes, it is nice to have something good to remember other than the sadness. They will never leave our hearts but be in them forever.
Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 1 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved