jaime

Each death has its own unanswered questions that we humans feel we have to know the answers to. For me with my son Jerred was why him, he knew and believed in God and the other 2 boys had no faith. So in my thinking God would want to call them back home as they were not being raised in His name here. It took me along time to get past this and of course I have never been answered. The other was when my dad died. I didnt see him before he left for work that morning but mom told me she was the happiest she had ever seen him. Was almost like he knew he was going home that day. We didnt have a clue and his death was sudden> To me this where our faith truly gets tested, we have to have blind faith that our Lord has a plan for each of us to which we know not of and must live each day to the fullest with love in our hearts because it may be our last.

I am so sorry to hear about your son's passing, that must be the ultimate hardship to geyt over, I can't imagine losing my sons, I would fall apart, my sons are my pride and joy-every day they do something to make me proud! And its all by they own doing, I stest that education was the most important thing in there lives-I made sure that when we moved down to Virginia Beach and Ian waas entering 1st grade that we moved to the best school district there was with the top ranking school,after we moved again I got permission for Ian to stay at that school,and every day I drove him before I went to work and picked him up after, or he was picked-up by the after-schoolbus(I was a teacher), and he hung out at the after-school program,which naturally he hated so he would walk down to the library which was only a block away. He would use their computers since we didn't have one at home yet. HE became very proficent on the computer and now he is like a computer whiz,and types more than the typing teaching can,plus nows everything there is to know about the computer and just bought himself a laptop. My other son is an honor student (as well as Ian is), he students the violin and has just been ask to represent his school in the all city program, he is also into acting which is his true passion and belongs to a kids and teens acting studio where he takes lessons and puts on preformances,he also has a great singing voice,like I said my boys are my life and I think losing them would be the finally straw.I comend you for being so brave and for allowing your faith to help you through!

My faith is helping me a lot about my daddy, I strongly believe he is around me and sends signs of his presents. I also believe I will see him again when I die-I'm not ready to go yet but it is something to look forward to seeing all my loved ones who have past before me.Right now I believe my time on earth is to nurture my boys,deal with a drunken husband-who despite every thing I still love after 22 years, and to give joy to my mom through her grandsons, I also have a brother who is still in the deep grieving part of losing someone,he still cries every day(I only cry every other),aand misses him so much he is having a hard time moving on with his life. My Dad and him where best friends-they did every thing together,even getting haircuts, Davey is left with no one so he feels,he just works his two jobs then comes home and vegs out-and thinks about my father and how different things would of been if he was still alive. Davey and my dad where like two peas in a pod and now he feels guilty about all the time he didn't spend with him the time he (my dad) asked Dave to go down the shore, and Dave blew him off. I told him you can't go back, but you can remember all the wonderful time you did spend with him, the knowledge he past on to you, how much he loved you and wanted you to be happy. My Dad was a very wise man-he taught us a lot of life skills, some good some not so good-it was our responsibility to stiff through the good and take that part in and apply it to our own life. We must take refudge in the fact that although short my father lived a wonderful life,he had a wife of 53 yrs who was his soul mate and loved him dearly, he had 4 children and 5 grandsons who hung on to every word he said and idolized him, he was loved by many and touched many lives in small but special ways. He had a wonderful sense of humor and could see the funny side of any thing. He must be laughing at the ironicness of him dying so young when he took such good care of himself,dening himself all kinds of foods, dieting always exercixing (although this he enjoyed very much,he loved riding all over town seeing what was going on). Every one knew Phip he was a town icon,and he is missed so much,there is a silence in the town, and a little less laughter.

My parents were suppose to come down in June to visit with us,before there trip to Israel my husband (who is in the hotel business) was suppose to get them rooms but the hotel was sold out, so we said they should come down in Aug. after the Israeli trip and if they came in Aug. they could see Noah's play,where he had a few key parts and even a solo. That seemed to be the perfect fit. Little did I know or any one know that my father would pass on July 22-I haven't seen him in 2 years-being that we live in Va,Virginia Beach and they live in NJ. plus the ride is awful and boring and long.BUT I talked to them every day on the phone,if I didn't call my father would get nervous and worried over it. I swore I get a lot of blocked and unknown phone calls with just stactic on the other side, I think this is him,call me crazy!

Well I have now written a book. I hope it brings some comfort, although I wrote mostly about me, but you are a very brave woman, who has allowed her faith to carry her though a extremly difficult time,my heart goes out to you and your family. I am here for you.

jaime