Bereavement Support Group

This has been hectic for a while had to finally manage to finish school which was always my grandfathers greatest wish...meanwhile his battle with leukemia got more difficult and pallative care was all he had. Memories faded of those family members for him...luckily he was able to hold on to me in the midst of the ending months. I graduated with his photo in my hands on December 17 and on the morning of Feb. 5th I was sitting alone in my living room when my grandmother called to say he has passed. The loss of his soul in my life was earth shattering much more than anything I could prepare with all of my knowledge and time to do so....it broke me. I had my youngest daughter "go get daddy" before i broke down upon hanging up and before he could get into the room I was sobbing. I had him tell my oldest whom like myself had a very unique relationship with him. He raised me most of my life so to her he was just Papaw. I couldn't speak to anyone I have tried to get help from my family but some destructive patterns have appeared in some that i have chosen not to be a part of. My daughter has chosen to not deal with her feelings and well i have had to push a good amount of my own quickly aside or down to help my grandmother or deal with some other mom type tasks that are required daily. I lost him forever to be my buddy my daddy....i didn't get to say goodbye i just couldn't say the words. Knowing didn't help i just couldn't say it. I spoke to him just days before and now just want desperately to be with my grandmother but lack the finance to get to her. I am running a super high blood pressure am sad inside like never in my life and just don't know what will make any of this better. I really don't know if this has a point aside from just saying all out loud some how....is this me saying i hit my limits of my grief i really don't know but I think its close to being unmanageable.

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Grandfather. The grief you feel right now will be different after a while. Sometimes quite a while. The only thing you can do, is to go to a place in your mind that holds beautiful memories.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Sue

PS Sometimes we need to seek help from our physician for a while until we can get a grip on what has happened.

Post edited by: vikingfan, at: 02/26/2012 03:30 PM

I'm terribly sorry for what you have to experience. I feel sad today not having my dad.Today makes 70 days without him and my heart aches. I hurt for you and know how you feel. I'm here if you need an ear my friend.

I am very sorry for your loss. It is hard to loose a loved one. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Yes we are all here to chat. Give a shout. I lost my son 3 months ago to suicide and a few weeks later I lost my dad. Those feelings never go away. I think they get hidden for moments than return when you least expect them. Listening to music, seeing someone that was friendly with your lost one really tend to might I say, "bite you in the heart!" But you move on. You have to in order to survive. Thats how I get through my roller coaster days.

Hugs to you.

Sue D

Wow, You seem very strong. To lose a son and your Dad?? I'm teribbly sorry. Your wprds of encouragement are helpful. Thank you.