Bereavement Support Group

Hi I'm Kelly and I lost my husband a few years ago and I suppose I am just now looking for support to move on in my life. Guess I never wanted to deal with it, I kept pushing it away hoping it was a bad dream. Feeling lost, hopeless and like nothing is going my way.

Hi Kelly,

I am new to this group.

I understand what you're going through right now. I lost my dad and best friend in October of 2005. I miss him and long for him every day. I'm usually not a big crier, but I cry for him all the time. I wish I had a magic wand to make it all go away. I've been dealing with it much better lately. When he died I felt like committing suicide, I was so troubled. His death was hard for me to come to terms with and I felt myself numbing the pain by self-medicating. Now I feel like I'm dealing with it a lot better. I have learned that time is the true healer. In our case, it feels like we're never going to feel better. We will always miss that loved one in our life. All I can say is to try to face that pain and deal with it. It hurts a lot but you must continue to live your life somehow after grieving.

I hope I've helped you feel a little better by knowing you're not alone. You can PM me any time if you want someone to talk to about this.

(((((hugs)))))

Hello Kelly and welcome but not for the reason. I lost my son 6 years ago. I really thought that I would go through the grief and then I would have some normalcy to my life. I have gone on and found that the normalcy is getting up and going to bed always thinking of him. Although it is a better way that I think about him. I used to relive the death over and over again. Now I kinda remember him and all the good things he was and seem to be able to gain some strength from that. I still miss him so much but it really is not as intense as in the first 3 years.

I'm so glad you are reaching out and find that it will help to get your feelings out. Most of my friends tried to avoid bringing my son up because it made them uncomfortable. If they only would have known how much I wanted to remember him and talk about my feelings.

This is a kind compassionate group and feel free to share anything with us.

Sue

Hi Kelly welcome to the group. Time is never a factor when we deal with grief. You say that you felt as though perhaps you pushed it aside all this time because you were unable to deal with it but contrary...........that was your way of dealing with it. Your mind and body will only allow you to deal with such intense feelings when one is ready. You are ready now. You have found a great group of people here to help you try to make sense of the many emotions and feelings and unusual events that can transpire from loss.

I am nearing two years here now. I joined to help me understand the deep impact i was feeling with the loss of my sister. She was my best friend and we were almost twin like in our sharing of everything. She was the third family memeber to lose in five years. Dad and my brother only a couple years before had gone to the heavens and i just began to search for answers and understand my feelings. I thought i was doing a good job but as i near the second anniversary of her death this month i find myself on the edge, i am on verge of tears all the time and i for ever relive the day i found her.

You see we all try our bests to do what we do while grieving and it isnt about time or how we deal with things its about opening the flood gates and let the loss in at what ever time we feel the consuming ache of loss. When i begin feeling like this again because the anniversary date nears I begin to question the nearly two years of what i thought was healthy grieving...........i think i will always question it.

Share and release your feelings, it does help.

Karen xx

Post edited by: Lilsis, at: 08/06/2010 04:39 AM

Both you Kelly, and you Spider, are among friends here. We all are dealing with the same emotions, but in varying degrees. I'm here for you too

Thank you so much Scotty. That is very kind. Thank you for listening.

No thanks needed

Thanks you all! It really does feel a bit better to get it out there and talk to others who can relate. I feel like in some ways I am ready to move on I am so sick of waking up everyday miserable, going through the same motions day after day with no happiness in sight for miles and miles. I just want to want to find the old me that used to enjoy things and not this blah/sad/angry/miserable person I have become. Did you all become that way? This completely different person? I just don't know how to do it, I guess I feel as if I have failed in someways to my friends and family because they see me as some sort of superwoman and I don't feel that way. I had a recent breakdown with a good friend of mine, I just couldn't hide it anymore I put up an image that everything was ok while really inside I've been falling apart.

That is the worst thing you can do....making them think all is well. Let them know how you feel. They may be wanting to share those feeling too

Letting those feelings out is the best thing you can do