Bereavement Support Group

I lost my son 8 years ago and still don't know how to go on without him. Anyone else lost a child?

Yes, I lost my son last year and I know what you mean. How can you possible go on after your child is gone.....I am so sorry for your loss. I am just trying to get through one day at a time and not doing very well at the moment. The last couple of weeks have been horrendous for some reason. I hope you can find some peace in your life. God bless you....Nancy "Rick's mom"

I have not lost a child to the heavens and im very sorry to hear from the people who have had to endure that pain. I am not unfamiliar to loss and at times the pain can be unbearable but sharing here with others does ease the way at times. I dont expect to ever stop feeling the loss but i do know i can learn how to respect it to the point that i will find a special place in my heart for it. That is my hope for all who have lost loved ones. I pray for you to find some comfort here through sharing with us about your child.

Thinking of you.

Karen

My 27 year old son died fram an assault which left him quadraplegic. He lived for almost 6 years after the assault. It will never be OK or as people put it, we will never "get over it". The only way I get throught it, is to include him in my daily life. I think about him on and off all day. I wonder what he would tell me to do when facing decisions. It has gotten less gut wrenching as the years and anniversaries have passed, but I still would give my life to bring him back. Have you ever gone to a grief group? There are also some good ones with a chat room on the internet. When Brandon died, I went to a group that met once a week and then I joined GROW.com. I talked every night with others in the same boat. I was scared at first, but go for it. It really helps.

Sue

I'm terribly sorry for your loss and all those of you who have lost a child. I couldn't even imagine the kind of pain that must be. It's just not the natural order of things. My deepest condolescences. Rachele

sdaicy,

There truly are no words to say that can comfort you now.A hug or someone to be there for you. I found was and is helpful. Although no one can relate the deep pain of losing a child. My son died suddenly Feb 5th 2009, he was 25. I was laid off from my job, they felt that I was a walking nervous breakdown(which I probably was).I have read some books on others experiences. It seems the consensus was most returned to work after one year.Well here it is for me a little over a year I have lost my confidence, I am stuck in pain, sadness and anger. Mad at the world.Now what? I have been to a couple of counselors,one who kept saying he's gone there is nothing you can do about it, move on. That was awful. The other (which was more help than the first) gave me meditation cds, spoke to me about taking baby steps. Not to conquer a task all at once do a little,step away and come back. I was and am concerned because I will have to get to work soon (I'm digging into my savings to stay out of work). As part of the meditation, work on getting to the point of WANTING to do it, anything instead of saying I HAVE TO.Work on getting on with my NEW life, not comparing or trying to do what I use to do. After all this a different life that will never be anything like my life before my son passed.So this I am working on. I keep telling myself how much I do like my job and will be able to jump back into it even if I have been away for so long. I will tell you that I actually have some good days...I laugh, plan to do things. At first "all" would say my life would get better. I was in disbelief, how could anything get "better", except to have my son back.

Life does go on and with time you try to find a different groove to flow in. This site does help, I pop in and out of here. I hope next time Im on here, I can say that I "want" to go back to work. HUGS TO YOU, I will always have that deep pain, its not on the surface as much now. I am so sorry for your loss.

walkersgrammie,

Yes taking it one day at a time, sometimes even one moment. Going to Al-anon (although my son was not an alcoholic) has helped, its their philosophy of taking care of yourself, not sweating the small stuff and sometimes not the big stuff either.

I can relate that even after one year, its still so so painful, I thought after that one year mark, I would be in a much better place and Im not. I have taken on this thought of not having much concern for the future. Staying in bed, hibernating is not really a bad thing. Getting to a meeting takes a lot, I force myself to go. Lately I have not been in a while. I hope to draw strength from all here. Get a second wind, and out into the world. Try to focus on one step at a time...I am so sorry for your loss.

Hugs to you

Gail, May I ask what you did for work?

I do physical therapy. Which can be an emotional, physical and mental challenging job. I want to do a mindless job but I would make 1/4 the money