hbudnik
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Mike, My son David is a high-functioning autistic, so much so that many people are suprised to learn of his diagnosis. Like many autistic kids, he is socially awkward and has many sensory issues, but he is also very verbal and loves to be around other people. I have a few thoughts that you may want to share with your wife. We are a Christian family, and our faith plays a large role in how we respond to David and his needs. Whatever your wife's religion, maybe this will help. One of my favorite Bible passages is Psalm 139:13-14. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." This passage says to me that God made my David exactly the way He wants him to be. It's not realistic to think that God will someday magically heal our kids of everything that is different about them, but we can expect that we will grow through the experience of loving and nurturing our kids, just as we would through bringing up typical children. As others have told you, it is absolutely critical that you get help and intervention as soon as possible for your son. Although he was not diagnosed until age 3, my son David began receiving speech and OT at age 2 through an early intervention program. He is now finishing kindergarten in a mainstream public school; he spends a great deal of time with a special ed teacher but has no aide. He is still socially awkward, but he is very verbal and has many friends. All this is because of the early intervention. I remember an old story about a man drowning who prayed to God to save him. I don't remember all of the details, but it's something like this. He prayed to God, and a little while later an empty raft floated by. He let it go, because God was going to save him. A little while later, a dolphin swam by, but he let it go because he had faith that God was going to save him. Later on, a ship found him, but he said, "No thanks!" because God was going to save him. Soon, he drowned. When he got to heaven, he asked God why he didn't save him, and God said "I sent you a raft, a dolphin, and a ship! What more did you want?" Remind your wife that although God does have the power to cure anything, He also sends us special ed teachers, speech teachers, therapists, and others who are there to help us care for our special kids. He also gives our kids parents who love them, and your son needs to know that he is loved and accepted exactly as he is, by both of his parents. I have found that many churches tend to be very traditional, and things are supposed to be "The way that they are supposed to be." You know, the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not deviate from the norm! It always helped me to remember that it is not my job to please everyone else around me, and it is not my job to make David conform. It is simply my job to be his mom, and every day that's a little different. It always means accepting who he is and believing in what he can do. Hope this wasn't too religious. Normally, I wouldn't go there in this type of forum. My religious beliefs don't have anything to do with autism, and I don't want to impose them on anyone else. But it can affect how we respond to it, and it just seemed like it might help in your situation. |
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