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06/23/2009 07:07 AM

screaming and banging

TessieMae
TessieMae  
Posts: 162
Member

So Eric has always made noise but lately it seems never ending. He squeals SO loud sometimes that it literally vibrates my ears! He needs to STOP, I simply CANNOT have this behavior because we live in an apartment. My neighbors to one side say that they definately hear him in their house. Now THEY dont' mind, that's my best friend actually but its the neighbors on the other side that I'm worried about.

We don't know them that well, we'd like to. I'd love nothing more than to knock on their door and explain to them about Eric but they don't speak much English.

In addition to the screaming he is constantly banging on things. He takes the front door and bangs it into the wall that seperates my apt. from the non english speaking neighbors.

I've told him to stop, I've distracted him, positive reinforcement, I've popped his hand for it. I drew a picture of a door with a circle and line through symbol and said "NO TOUCHING" several times. I've hjeld his hands down at his sides and just siad "STOP THAT!" I don't know how much simpler I can be with it.

NOTHING HAS WORKED!

They haven't come out and complained yet but I know they hear it. Not to mention how it drives me up the wall!!!! I can't take the screaming and banging anymore. Repetitive noises have always been my ultimate pet peeve and now look I have a son who does NOTHING BUT that!

I know this sounds so mean but I've even made jokes about putting a muzzle in this child and binding his hands and feet down. I would never actually DO that and I'm just venting my frustrations. I know I can say something like that here because many of you know how frustrating it can be and the thoughts no matter how crazy that come to your head when you in a situation like this.

As far as the screaming, I've tried to hush him by shushing him, placing my finger over his mouth, whispering "quiet...", straight out telling him to stop screaming, and even in my weaker moments covering his entire mouth with my hand and saying "I said stop screaming." in a stern voice. Screaming right back at him I feel just encourages him to continue screaming.

I wish that he could just understand that NO means NO and to just stop doing this. I KNOW I KNOW he doesn't undersatand that because of his Autism and SPD, I'm just so over it!!!

Has this happened to anyone here though? How can I fix this?

Post edited by: TessieMae, at: 06/23/2009 07:08 AM

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06/23/2009 09:26 AM
missymoo918
missymoo918  
Posts: 1299
Senior Member

I can understand the screaming, Sam is the meltdown king! The most simple things set him off, flipping the lightswitch without warning him, opening a door, flushing the toilet, turning on or off a fan, I could go on and on. This is why we have earplugs all over the house and in the car. In my week moments I have covered Sam's mouth with my full hand and told him to stop screaming, I've also popped Sam's hand for slamming the fridge door shut over and over and over again. I under the frustration, OH BOY do I understand. As for stopping the behavior, I wish I knew! With Sam the obsessive things do seem to pass on their own but only on HIS terms. As soon as he is done with one obsessive behavior he picks up another annoying behavior. Right now he likes to pour water, pee in little cups, tip over all the tall things in my house (lamps, artificial plants, candle sticks, vacuums, anything that can be leaned over or tipped). Before these things is was the door opening and shutting, mostly the fridge door. Okay, I'm venting now too.

Do you have an isolation zone? A quiet place where your son can sit and calm down? A "trouble chair" or "time out" area? I use Sam's crib, it's got a net over it (he was a climber when he was a baby). When Sam is being really horrid I put him in the crib, zip him up and leave him there until I can walk in and see him smile, he comes out of isolation like a new kid. Sometimes if I go in too early he'll tell me to get out and shut the door LOL. He lets me know when he's ready to get out.

If all else fails, my husband is a cop, I could sent you some really good handcuffs or zipties TOTALLY KIDDING!! Wink


06/23/2009 09:34 AM
spectrummum

Its enjoyment to him.

and no matter what you do it will be reinforcing the behaviour.

It sounds to me like he is either in pain or wants to stop some input reaching him.

It is avidance rather than a behaviour problem a way to block whatever his hurting him.To him the banging and screaming is a lot better than the noise or sight he is trying to block.

Have you tried to take his hand and walk him around to see his reaction at differant points of the house.

Stop that will be confusing "that" isnt anything it is not specific enough.Try covering your ears sit on the floor in front of him and rock back and forth.when he stops take your hands away and smile and say quite,When he starts immediatly cover your ears and rock again when he comes to you to see what you are doing (and he will) smile and be happy quite .


06/23/2009 05:11 PM
herding123
herding123  
Posts: 149
Member

I have a couple suggestions and things about the screaming (my nickname was given to me; kriscreama) as a child... I'll write it a little later on after composed my writing together better; had to have numb and then IV and then procedure early this morning and now I'm back so slept a looooonnnnggg time! LOL, still kinda tired; So anyway, I'll put them down soon enough.

Hugs again,

Kris


06/23/2009 08:53 PM
spiffo
spiffoPosts: 1
New Member

I can definitely relate to your frustration. Sometimes my sons constant banging and screaming leads me to tears. I actually just googled "autism and banging" to see if this is typical behavior of children with autism and this is where i ended up. My personal frustration is reaching new heights and I only wish that I could offer you some advise. I am going to give Spectrummum's advise a try - thank you for the suggestion. Either that or I am going to go crazy!!

Good luck to you. When I was reading your posting I was shocked at how similar our children seem to be...


06/23/2009 10:17 PM
spectrummum

sensory issues are given though with behaviours but in my opinion they 99% to blame for any upheaval.

Finding out what causes or starts the problem is a must.

It could be a humming light,a noisey fridge a certain noise that happens at a certain time,It could also be a word a voice etc.

I used to head butt the walls when I was small to stop the input going in I also self harmed which I sill do now to block.My ears are very sensative you would not beilive the noises I hear that normal people cannot.

Also knowing where the noise is coming from and finding out what it is is paramount for me.

Post edited by: spectrummum, at: 06/23/2009 10:19 PM


06/23/2009 10:29 PM
herding123
herding123  
Posts: 149
Member

Hi Tessie,

First off he's so adorable Smile. I am on the spectrum and not good with social skills, but I would probably go talk to the neighbors anyways and explain the situation and that you are trying to work on it with other people's advice, etc. - For the language block hey you could use pictures and or find someone who would translate for you.

There are tons of reasons for banging things and for screaming. I am here to tell you a few things about the screaming aside from sensory (well not really outside of it- I mean its not exactly outside stimuli causing the screaming reaction always). What I mean is that one, if he is nonverbal, that is very tough to not use your throat to create sound or words... the glosso nerve traveling down from the brain is the 'sensation/tactile' nerve. When a person screams and when I've had a scream its trying to feel that sensation (the back and front of throat touching each other)... I know kind of strange to understand completely. So, if it is not impaired then it wants to be utilized, therefore you get moaning and screaming to help stimulate it likes its supposed to be. Some things that can help are cold drinks to help that area. Also, I know this sounds like aversion, but its different for each child you can use things like sauce thats very hot so that it hits that region of the throat and then that could help promote speech or more audible sounds than just screaming... tried and used in lots of Autistic people I know. Hope that helps.

Also, for the banging, he may need input big time in his hands and in his feet... when something gets thrown if not in anger it can be so he can feel the vibration from it hitting the wall hard into the ground and his hands pushing outward - thats where joint compressions would come in handy as well as brushing/lotion therapy. Hope that helps too. Let me know what you think and yes, I know a lot to take in, took me long to write it Wink.

Hugs,

Kris


06/24/2009 04:32 AM
scotty04901
scotty04901  
Posts: 2579
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Let me ask what might seem as a dumb question. How is the hearing? Has a hearing problem been ruled out?

06/24/2009 06:14 AM
TessieMae
TessieMae  
Posts: 162
Member

Thank you all for the responses.

herding123 and spiffo, it's very nice to meet you both.

ok.... I think I need to say this. He's NOT angry or upset or overwhelmed when he's screaming. He often looks very happy and content. It really seems to me that he's making noise for the sake of making noise, as if he just found his voice. For example there's this thing he does with the stove. It has a very shiny reflective front to it and he will run past it and watch his reflection shoot by and with every pass he squeals "Aaah-aiit!!" It was adorable the first ten times, and it's still cute just ear piercingly loud. He does it when he's at play and talking to his cars. He's been repeating a phrase that he heard from a commercial in a really high pitched raspy voice he will scream over and over "EVERY MOTHER AND CHILD!"

He's VERY verbal, he talks all day...he's quacking like a duck right now actually! The things he says all day are mostly things he repeats with a few "spoiled ass child" demands thrown in between like "want candy? let's go candy!" He's been getting pretty good about getting most of his needs communicated to me or Daddy. There are also alot of things in his life that he doesn't even need to ask for because I anticipate his needs(or I've spoiled him). See I only have Eric. I have no clue how you do it Shell! 6 kids and still have time for all your kids here!

As far as the banging, well he's usually got a pretty happy and content face then too. Trust me, if we didn't live in an apartment I would totally get the kid some drums! In a heartbeat I'd do that!! I just know he'd be awesome at it too! He does have a bit of a rhythm when he bangs now.

Anyways, I'm so going to do the earcovering thing. He does that when he doesn't like what's going in or what's being said to him. As much as it upset me to see at first I now take a small bit of satisfaction in him doing that because at least now I know he's listening...somewhat.

I think it's like herding123 said...he wants to feel it. We know he has a sensory processing disorder. We(his Dad and I) actually think that he is more SPD than ASD, his symptoms just seem to fall more into the SPD category.

OH about his ears, we had them checked and judging by his actions at home the kid CAN hear and very well too might I add.

He does hit and harm himslef. We just hold his hand down and stop it from what he's doing, almost never acknowledging the action just a simple taking his hand out of his mouth and setting it on his lap. It does upset me and I will ask him sometimes "Buddy, why are you doing that" or "Please don't stress, tell Mommy what's wrong." I want ot try to help him work it through. What he does is he takes the back of his hand, opens his mouth wide then smacks himself in the face ending in the biting of his hand then he rips his hand away with his teeth still clinched onto his hand. He does this over and over, other times he just bites the hand. He's got calouses over his knuckles on his little right hand.

ok, I was trying to take a picture of his calouses and he did the hand bitey thing...here are some pics....

you can see where the skin is raised. my camera blurs when you get too close.

http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo55/ passionpartiesbytessie/100_0195.jpg

ok, this is a different pic of the handbiting than the one I jsut took, you get the idea

http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo55/ passionpartiesbytessie/100_0180.jpg

and here's is the sweet boy and me on a rare day that I put make up on(please ignore my roots)!! I wanted to share a positive picture. OH, he's not squinting from the flash...that's his way of smiling for the camera.

http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo55/ passionpartiesbytessie/100_0190.jpg

Post edited by: TessieMae, at: 06/24/2009 06:15 AM


06/24/2009 06:24 AM
spectrummum

Then it is sensory problem not a behaviour problem.My youngest is a hand biter he has segs on his knuckles.

the cooker issue get a plastic child mirror or something reflective and put it somewhere where it will not annoy,he is begining to see himself has a person and enjoys his own noises.It also will distort like hall of mirrors at a fairground and that will be intriqing to him

Ear covering is of course not to hear

my kids also squeel yelp and bark they grunt and croak all are sensory related,each noise will stimulate in its own way.

When he is making the noises Tape it,put it on an mp3 and see if he will tolerate listening to it,if he will he should stop the noise himself but get the same sensation with the mp3.

I also self harm a lot I hit I pull I bite I pinch (myself) always have done.

Post edited by: spectrummum, at: 06/24/2009 06:25 AM

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