Autism Support Group

Hello all,

Everyday, this autism/asperger's THING gets harder and harder to deal with. I find myself on somedays thinking "why did God give me a defective child?" And I feel soooo... bad for feeling this way, but its almost like I don't know how to deal with him and I don't know how I can help him. Do children grow out of autism? Can he ever be normal? I think it sucks that my son cannot even tell me how he hurt himself or that he doesn't want to answer questions that I know he knows how to answer. I see how other kids mistreat him and alienate him and I fell so bad. Maybe if I would have not gotten him vaccinated none of this would have happened.. maybe if he had a better doctor I would have known something sooner... I don't know whats worse dealing with the asperger's or not knowing how/why it happened to me. This is so hard.

no we dont grow out of it we become autistic adults,but with that comes the learning we have from childhood,

What form of communication are you using (Pictures,sign)

IT HAS NOTHING TO WITH VACCINES That is just a fairy story made up for profit in uk by a greedy doctor the report was later thrown out of the lancet has rubbish,the doctor was struck of never to practice in uk again however he went to usa to preach is rubbish over there.

From what I can see you have two choices here you can either let it swollow you and make you bitter or you can fight this.You are stronger than you think you are,knowledge is power the more you know the moe you understand the better you deal with things.

Post edited by: spectrummum, at: 06/18/2009 11:06 PM

He can talk --- he is not totally mute. For example, he knows his name, birthday, school name, teachers name, what food he likes, what he wants to eat, when he has to potty etc. But he cannot express his feelings - how was your day? what happened (like if it hurt himself).. He is 5, but is on the same level as about a 3 year old (maybe younger). He's going to kindergarten next, year but he doesn't talk to the level he needs to in order to pass and be successful in the first grade.

I would suggest using PECS even if he can talk his use and understanding of language is limited.

Many children prefer visual instruction ans it gives us something concrete to work with,learning verbally is very difficult for me,I still need a schedule I still need to visit a new place before the the appointment because I need the picture in my head to undertstand it.

Thanks, I will try that

You have a beautiful boy! Be proud of him, you are his greatest support, the person he loves more than anyone in the whole world. He is who he is because God made him that way. I know it's hard, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it too but they are our kids and they need to feel loved, they are so sensitive under that thick shell. I don't think there is any shame in feeling bad about your son having autism cause it does suck in a lot of ways, it's a crappy thing for a parent/child to have to go through, the world is scary and cruel enough without having a disorder but it doesn't do anyone any good to dwell on the how or why, the thing that will help you and your son the most is your focus on the future and how you can best help him be the best person he can be.

By the way, welcome, I'm Missy, I have three beautiful children, two daughters ages 9 and 6 and my little firecracker boy Sam age 3.

Are you in the US?

If you are you shouldn't worry about him passing in school. He should have an IEP which will help you get services for him in the school to help him succeed.

Depending on the school district and his abilities he may be in a class with other children like him or with other disabilities or even in a typical class with help. The important thing is that the school district is required by law to provide services that your child needs.

As for how you feel it's perfectly normal to feel these things when you're in the situation you're in. It's natural to be angry, feel cheated, want something or someone to blame and to hate to have to do all these special things you're going to have to do over the years.

Getting past that can take a long time and even when you think you are sometimes it'll come back and bite you at the strangest moments.

Finding a way to deal with all the negative emotions you'll have over the years is a very personal process. Everyone does it differently.

For now trying to focus on what's great and wonderful about your child would be a good place to start.

For us it was that he was always so happy. He never realized that he was different or that things were harder for him. Once we realized that he was ok with how things were we were more able to deal with our issues and move on to a place that let us just try and make things even better for him.

Talking about it is another good place to start. I think all too often people with special needs kids are expected to suck it up and never say anything bad about the hand they've been dealt. It does suck though. It sucks for us and it sucks for the kids. Pretending it doesn't won't change that, it just makes it hard to help each other.

Good luck.

I am trying EFT, i think it work.

EFT???

Hi ddrick2, i read your post about your son not being able to answer questions. this is what i did with my son...

1. sometimes the questions you might ask him may confuse him.. instead of saying how was your day you can say what did you do today.. if he still doesnt respond, model the answer for him or break it down to what you know he has done. for e.g. How was your day/ what did you do today? did you play outside? (he may respond and say yes) did you eat? Did you draw? etc this is what did with my son. i used to ask him all the time when i picked him up at school, then one day a friend went with me and she asked him what did you have for lunch and he told her! Well you can guess how i felt!

2. Play

what i mean by this is pretend play with figures, play with him and say we are pretending to go to school adn then model for him what he does at school.

3. read books about what you do at school or anywhere else. for e.g. my son is four, i didnt know that he didnt know that you go to the hospital if you are sick, so after reading some books, looking on youtube for vids and then pretending in play he understands the concept

Hope that helps!