Autism Support Group

Dominic is almost 6 years old, high-functioning autism (ADHD, maybe tourettes and bipolar too ). He does not listen, swears, and hits. His 2 year old sister is mimicing all his behaviors. He is being kicked out of yet ANOTHER after school care program, which apprears to have been my last option. I cannot afford special transport and care for him and am meeting with HR about the FMLA so I can take time to be with him after school, which I really can't afford to do either.

I am in a bad bad place right now, angry, depressed, having terrible thoughts. Please, any words of encouragement, sympathy, anything you think might help me would be very much appreciated.

I AM SORRY TO HEAR YOU ARE HAVING SUCH A TERRIBLE TIME. I AM REALLY NOT SURE WHAT YOU CAN DO?? IS HE ON MEDS? IF NOT MAYBE HE NEEDS TO BE, AND IF HE IS MAYBE THEY ARE NOT WORKING AND NEEDS SOMETHING DIFFERENT? ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER...MAYBE YOU NEED INTERVENTION (SUCH AS THERAPY FOR HER) JUST SO SOMEONE CAN TEACH HER HOW TO DEAL WITH HER BROTHERS "DIFFERNCES". YOU PROBABLY WILL BENEFIT AS WELL (SOME EXTRA SUPPORT). HAS HE DONE BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION THERAPY? IT SOUNDS LIKE THE BIPOLAR PART IS WHAT REALLY AFFECTS HIM. ALL I CAN SAY IS HANG IN THERE...GOD DOESN'T GIVE YOU ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN'T HANDLE. AND IF YOU NEED TO VENT....THEN TYPE AWAY...LOL

HANG IN THERE...

HUGS & KISSES

JAN

I know with my son the DDD provides services for care and habilitation. Also were he receives his mental health concerns they offer a place for the child to go when the parent cant be there. you might want to contact the person who takes care of his needs and get ahold of your local DDD to see about getting services.

I wish I were a spiritual person like you and/or believed God had a plan for me by giving me this child. If that is the case I can't imagine what His plan was. I am miseralbe. I think about horrible things like giving him away, running away myself, or worse... I would never do these things, but the thoughts are there... I'm ashamed to even write this because I can't imagine anyone else being as shallow as I am, but what is the point of living life being miserable? I love and hate this child. There is no joy, only pain and pity. I've already mourned for the life I had hoped for my child. Now I am simply angry and drained.

Post edited by: pjnoch, at: 03/04/2009 11:24

Post edited by: spectrummum, at: 03/08/2009 06:04

Hi, I just wanted to say that the courage you have, to come out, and be totally honest of the feelings you have is a great deal. I know a lot of people in the same situation has felt some of those feelings as well, at one time or another. Some just don't admitt it though because of feeling like a bad parent or person. I too have felt angry and frustrated, not to mention, drained everyday. It is draining because you try so hard, and give your all to the point it wears you down. There is not much support out there and I find that society and other people, family, friends and even professionals actually make it harder on us, which in return makes us more stressed and angry and frustrated with our own child. I am a single mom and my daughter is 6 with PDD-NOS. I had to give up everything and now even home school. I understand the problems with the school system. I am on a fixed income and insurances don't cover what all she needs even important test. I know this can be really hard but all I can say is what I do and that is I take one day at a time and spend that time learniing about my child cause I am obviously the only one thats really going to know her and help her. I can say though it still is a struggle and even a little scarey but I have seen great progress including behavioral. Its hard to work and also be there for your child. Maybe respite can help some.

I know it makes me sound like a terrible person to share the horrible thoughts I have had when I am at my lowest with this. Your replies have been very encouraging though, and I REALLY needed some encouragement! Thanks!

thankyou for sharing. i have felt this way myself.many of us have at one time or another.tst comforting to know that we are not alone in this stuggle.it sounds like he may need meds. i have found that the homeopathic remedies have helped wyatt alot.nervita has a calming affect on wyatt.keeping a private journal to write your feeling and such in every day helps me. some times after writing i feel a wieght lifted.take one day at a time.having a one on one relashionship with god helpes me.i just pour my heart out every day to him.he can give you the strength to get through this. he sees the bigger picture. and is a great strenghth and a perfect father.i used to do so much research and reading ect on autism, and how to help wyatt. that my head would spin.i have found that reading some spiritual books self help books with a spiritual tone have helped me see thing in a better light.dont forget that you have to look after you too. if you dont feel good its hard to give. i stuggle with this alot because i have clinical deppression.wyatt has a rdi therapist now and she has been an amazing help.its hard too let go of the expectations of what we wanted our child to be.it takes a while so many stages or emotions that we have to go through.i find that knowing how to discipline wyatt aludes me.my rdi therapist has helped me with this alot.im starting to see some progress.you are in my prayers.hang in there.big hugs, summer

you are not horrible hun,just not knowledgable about autism,knowledge is power the more you learn the less the pain.

you must think of the things our kids can do and what they cannot.

I did just read this:

"Appreciate the small victories your child may achieve. Love your child and take great pride in each accomplishment. Focus on what they can do instead of making comparisons to a typically developing child. Love them for who they are rather than what they should be." I found it to be very inspiring.