Autism Support Group

Hey all, my son is 9 years old and he is considered mildly autistic. The issue that we are having is that even though he is taking Adderall and Zoloft, his behavior has been worse over the last 5 months. To make things worse, because of our immigration status, we can no longer be in the US. So, here we are in Mexico where they don't prescribe Adderall. I called our Doctor, in Colorado, for him and she said that without seeing him and paying the consultation fee, she couldn't help us. He doesn't speak but a few words of Spanish (we've been here for 7 months) and he tends to be very verbal about this country. ("I hate Messico!") or something really inappropriate in front of people. In Mexico, this is NOT a good thing. Last night, my wife flipped when we were putting him to bed and he wanted to stay awake. We told him those were the rules and he said, "I want U.S. parents, not Messican." Uh yeah...I can deal with him as I'm quite patient and she can't as she doesn't understand why he acts like that. Any ideas? Our son's behavior is really causing a rift in our marriage.

AND...of course I just noticed I used my wife's name instead of mine. What a day. Mario.

I don't even know what to say. You're in a very unique and difficult situation. All I can say is...I commend you for being patient with your child. My wife and I had a conversation last night about our son(it seems like we don't talk much about his struggles and how they could affect our lives as he grows older.) my wife is much better than I am when handling our son. I feel I am the disciplinarian and she's the hero that flies in to save the day. Sometimes that drives wedges in between us. She doesn't handle him in the way I would and I KNOW I don't handle him in the way she would. If you can, without arguing, talk to your wife(if you dont regularly)about your son. If you're the optimistic one, then you need to set the tone in a calm/safe way...non threatening. 

Between you and me...it stinks to have to deal with disabilities...and it seems like nobody cares....BUT there are people that care...this is a great resourse(MDJ) to find those kind of people!!!!!!

All I can do for you is pray for your family...your marriage and to find resources to help your boy.

Keep us updated.

Take care,

Jaime 

Thanks Ibanez. The strange thing is that my wife is the disciplinarian and I'm the hero. Joshua shows his love and affection for me, but limits it with his mother. He acts very typical brother with his sister (almost 2). I don't get it. We can't put him in school because he doesn't speak Spanish and private schools are 600 a month. It's crazy. BUT, I have to remain optimistic and I know it'll get better. My wife on the other hand is hurt by his comments. Ugggghhhhhh....what a mess.

welcome to the group! Is your wife homeschooling him? I just assumed bc you mentioned he isnt in school. If she is, it will do everyone good if he is exposed to activities outside of the home. I know finding something will be challenging being that he doesnt speak spanish, but maybe you could even find something like a painting class or something similiar where you could be a buffer in the translation. A class that needs the least amount of translation would be best, thats why I mentioned painting. I think his behavior may have to with the big change of moving to another country where he doesnt know the language. High functioning people HATE change...even the slightest changes can be difficult.

Being high functioning, it can feel like you are a foreigner living in a world where you just dot "get" the social rules or dynamics. It can be scary and confusing. Now, on top of already feeling like that, he not only doesnt understand the things i just mentioned, but also he has no clue what everyone is saying! This is a HUGE deal, gigantic to a child on the spectrum.

Obviously , you had to do what you had to do. But understanding what he is going through and being extremly patient with him is key. A lot of high functioning kids do very well with self teaching, especially at his age. Maybe make some flash cards for him with simple spanish words, or even buy him some english to spanish cd's or movies. He might not want anything to do with them at first, bc in his mind, he shouldnt have to learn a new language. but consistancy and time will help.

I cannot imagine how tough this is for all of you. my heart goes out to you. I hope that it gets easier for everyone.patience and effort will pay off eventually though.

about the adderall. i am not one to medicate. But I have read that the closest thing to adderal in mexico is Provigil and Ritalin. If you are sure you want to go the medication route, I would talk to a dr and see if either would be a good fit. Has he been off his adderall since your move? that could be another very real reason for his behavior. Stopping meds can definetly make someone more irritable among many other things. If he's been off of it for the past 7 months anyways, maybe try looking in to natural methods to helping him such as eliminating dyes and certain foods from his diet. Often, behavior issues can arise or intensify from questionable diets. For instance, My daughter bounces off the walls when given anything with red dye in it. Totally different kid. try looking into things like that...not always an answer , but many kdis on the spectrum seem to have similiar sensitivities.

Sorry for the super long reply Remember, this too shall pass!

We still have some Adderall and Zoloft left. My wife stopped for about 2 months when she first came here (depression) and for the last 3 months, I've made sure he takes it without fail. I will look into the Provigil or Ritalin as Joshua is a very picky texture type of eater. He eats only a certain amount of things and it's killing us. Cutting out something would narrow his eating choices to 4-7 things. I think my wife is greatly affected as I have two other children from a previous marriage (18 and 15) and both have 140+ IQ's. and of course...Baylee (our almost 2 year old) is fine. And yes, this too shall pass...God, I hope not like a kidney stone...

I'd take the kidney stone passing AS LONG AS IT PASSED! hang in there! by the way, my wife IS like you...my son just loves his mommy...she's always the first choice. Sometimes that makes me a little sad, but it's typical for any child...special needs or not.