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11/27/2010 10:58 PM

my 3 year old has austim

amp2
 
Posts: 22
Member

I joined this group a few mins. ago. people are driving me crazy. IF i hear one more poor baby, hear one more comment that I am a bad mother, that I caused my son's austim I will scream.

I did not cause this disorder he was born with it. My hubby, grandma and myself could see something was wronge from the beginning.

people are driving me crazy. No one seems to understand what we are going threw or what austim is.

My hubbys family will not aknowlege my son. they blame me.

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11/28/2010 06:55 AM
metalynn

Welcome to the bad mother, bad father, bad grandparents, bad aunt/uncle, bad sister/brother, bad friend club.

I try to avoid toxic people because it is very rare that they will ever get it. And since we have no power over another person, I don't work on trying to change their minds anymore.

My name is Shannon and I have a 9 year old with Asperger's. I'm glad you joined. Please vent away whenever you need or want to.


11/28/2010 05:33 PM
angieandsara
 
Posts: 177
Member

Hi, my name is Mary and I have 2 grown children with autism. For years, my mom, mother in law and brother and sister blamed me for the kids autism. I blamed myself for years. After doing research on autism and thank God for support groups, I learned that I did not cause their autism. I even moved over 200 miles from all of them. I do keep in touch with my mom sometimes. I've tried so many times to explain to them about autism. I got tired of it and told them to research it on-line. It's terrible that your husband's family is that way. I wish all family members would be supportive. I live in Wisconsin.

12/02/2010 10:47 AM
amp2
 
Posts: 22
Member

Thank you for the support ladys. I was really mad I know i did not cause the disorder. I dont blame myself for it. I do blame myself for the severiy of the disorder. My body caused a lot of complaction. Lance was born at 33 weeks. I spent over a year recovering to full strenth.

Lance was in nicu for 3 weeks. we moved when he 3 months old. had the first fire at 9 month old. everyone was ok but we had to deal with insurance and the cleaners. we had almost nothing for weeks. at 13 months old we had the second fire. A lot of his things were lost and we could not find replacements. plus we had to sleep on the floor for 3 days in a strange apptment until we could have the other place fummed and cleaned.

we moved again before his 3rd birthday to a bigger place with a yard.

The realy bad part about my hubby family's is the autsim came from that side of the family.

Post edited by: amp2, at: 12/02/2010 02:20 PM


12/03/2010 03:34 PM
HKFaber
HKFaber  
Posts: 5
New Member

I have 2 autistic kids and I know it came from my side of the family ...each of my boys are gifted ...although raising the first one nearly killed me (asbergers) my little guy was born with autism ...i think there is a huge difference between mercury poisoning and true autism (my opinion) but i noticed from the time he was born he would turn away from his daddy's face when daddy would try to kiss him cause of the stubble on his chin ...he would not breast feed and it took the better part of 2 days before he would even eat cause he hated things in his mouth ...he threw away his own bottle before he was one for the same reason ...I deal with alot of ignorance cause my son is now 5 and not potty trained ...he just dont care ...he has used the toilet but he wont use it regularily and there is nothing can be done about that ...i know in his own time he will start doing it as has been his way his entire life with other milestones ...a little over a year ago my husbands family called cps on me when my husband was in the hospital with a 10% chance of pulling through (he made it) but they were so sure i was such this horrible mother they would certainly get my son removed from me ...they were wrong ...of course childrens services were required to send an autism specialist out and ...turns out all this stuff his family was complaining about is normal for a child with his condition ...i too am pretty angry about all of this cause it has caused such a huge rift in the family and try as i might i cannot get it thru their heads ...thus my youngest child is being denied the only grandmother he has left and we are not invited to holiday gatherings and such and have adopted other persons we know as our family.

BUT i would not trade my autistic child for all the gold in the world ...he is every ray of sunshine i have ever felt on my face!


12/04/2010 06:19 AM
angieandsara
 
Posts: 177
Member

Hi HKFaber,

I get angry when I hear about how some families can be soooo unsupportive. I had to write some relatives off. I'm glad your husband made it through. Do you have anybody on your side of the family? I know some relatives can be so pigheaded and ignorant.


01/17/2011 12:13 AM
purplepeopleeater
 
Posts: 7
Member

Listen, people can be ignorant. But you must be your child's biggest and baddest advocate. The best that you can do is the help your child live the best life ever and have a strong self-esteem regardless of these cowards that trying to bring you down. Your child will have to accept his/her situation, feel good anyway and strive to do lead a happy and productive life.

Do not let no make you feel bad. They should feel bad about their behavior.

My daughter just got diagnosed with autism at 3 and half. I admit...Im devastated. But I am going to educated myself and be my daughter biggest and baddest advocate.Wink


01/17/2011 06:29 AM
missymoo918
missymoo918  
Posts: 1299
Senior Member

I can't believe how many families turn away other family members because of autism. It's sick really! It's like they believe that if they turn their heads or walk away it's not really happening. Or if they place blame on the parents they somehow make sense of it in their own heads. If only they knew how amazing autistic people really are. It's hard when they are small, they have to be taught how to do a lot of things that come naturally to the average person but when you unlock the key... when you finally reach the part of the autistic child that opens the door to their world.. When you are able to draw the child out or get a peek into their minds, there is a perspective there that is so wonderful. Only the lucky few really appreciate how amazing our kids really are. All they need is the right support, lots of patience and most importantly LOVE.

01/17/2011 08:59 AM
angieandsara
 
Posts: 177
Member

That's true. Autistic people are gifted in one way or another. My mother always bragged about other family members when they were kids about how smart they were and when I told my mom that my daughter who was mainstreamed in 6th grade that she got on the honor roll she said yeah, but she's in special ed. To her it was no big deal at all! I do have resentment towards by mom. My mom is a narcisist. I hope I spelled it right. I make sure that I praise my kids all the time. I tell them I'm proud of them.

01/18/2011 02:55 PM
missymoo918
missymoo918  
Posts: 1299
Senior Member

Well I think it's wonderful that your daughter was able to get on honor roll! Good for her for trying so hard.
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