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07/18/2010 06:43 PM

Does he hate our house???

mpstrahan
 
Posts: 2
New Member

Dizzy We have been gone for almost 10 days on vacation...My son, McKaide who is autistic LOVED our cabin, was super great on vacation! Then the moment we returned home, turned in our driveway he starts having a meltdown...We get inside, it gets worse...Takes a while to calm down, but he does...Today, same thing happend. It has been going on for months, but it getting progressively worse....I'm just ready to move...let him pick the place and go! I know it could be a smell, something in the house he doesn't like, a noise that bothers him, but he is non-verbal so he can't tell us what is wrong...It's so frustrating!
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07/18/2010 07:21 PM
metalynn

I'm a little confused. Exactly how long has this been going on?

07/19/2010 01:58 AM
maMONa
maMONaPosts: 1168
Senior Member

same happens to our son, with classic autism, age 3. he loves taking off in the car...just out. But when we come back home..turn into out driveway, he starts having a meltdown.... i have come to the conclusion with MY son that perhaps he is bored. only when we have been out THAT DAY for quite a while, with him getting a full day of errands, out and about, does he come into the home with no tantrum and welcomes the home.

07/19/2010 08:12 AM
mpstrahan
 
Posts: 2
New Member

It's been going on for a few months and seems to get worse every time!

07/19/2010 08:00 PM
missymoo918
missymoo918  
Posts: 1299
Senior Member

I'm sure it's not your house he hates. I would think it's more the change of activity he is not liking. Such as, having a fun time and then moving on to something that isn't as exciting such as hanging around at home. It may also be that at one point he got upset about coming home and the adults with him had a strong reaction about him geting upset. He may have anxiety about that experience, even if it was a mild experience in the first place. He may associate going home as a negative thing.

Our kids are so very sensitive to excitement or dissapointment. You know those butterflies we feel in our stomach when we are exicted or upset? Well those butterflies feel like more like a swarm of huge birds than the tickle of butterfly wings to an autistic child.

To ease the anxiety I would suggest keeping pictures of your home in the car. Pictures of the outside, of his room, of his favorite things. Let him see the pictures on the way home and talk about going home. It might help with the transition.


07/20/2010 02:27 PM
angieandsara
 
Posts: 177
Member

I agree with Missy. My husband and I take turns bringing Steven places and as soon as we get into the house he's pointing at the door and wants to go again. I tell him that we were just out and that we have to stay home now until tomorrow. He sometimes goes and plays and sometimes he keeps pointing at the door. My husband usually ends up getting his mind on a book or movie.

07/21/2010 01:24 AM
maMONa
maMONaPosts: 1168
Senior Member

sorry for my bluntness on perhaps your son is bored. i SO agree w missy that the correct word is TRANSITIONING. Alex does have a hard time transitioning from one activity to another, hwich leads to meltdowns. Coming home if he hasn't had enough of the activity he has liked will lead to tantrums in the car. I had another POSITIVE outing today w him. We left to do errands. I was going to go alone, but decided to take alex and my husband along for the ride. we had stops here and there. shopped a bit. when we came home, i had no problems with Alex.

07/21/2010 03:00 PM
scotty04901
scotty04901  
Posts: 2579
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I agree with Mona. It sounds like he is bored to death. He needs far more stimulation

07/22/2010 02:02 AM
maMONa
maMONaPosts: 1168
Senior Member

in a way, this is a GOOD sign! if he is bored and needs more stimulation, i see that as growth and his mind needing more stimulation! Smile when i finally concluded alex was getting bored when he tantrumed much or stimmed excessively, i actually felt good in the sense that he wants MORE. For the past two days, Alex has avoided his bedroom (THANK GOD) and been hanging out with us in the living room with his new CARS toys. We played with him, saw the video together, hugged, bonded. we got excited and stimmed w him when his favorite parts of the cartoon came out as he had his CARS toys in hand....he was FULFILLED and happy....he smiled so much! it is HARD to meet our kids' needs...and i feel guilt many times. i am a TEACHER and i STILL dont know what to do most times. im learning every day.

back to my point....finding out Alex gets bored gives me the strength to KNOW he now needs to attend school. (i had been AVOIDING sending him for many fears and basically my own protectiveness....i wanted to stay my baby a bit longer). i NOW know he NEEDS school to meet his needs. perhaps you can place your son in some extra classes or have more activities for him.

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