Autism Support Group

My son is 15 months old and was diagnosed 1 month ago. Since going GFCF he is soooo much better. But many times I can still find him spinning a wheel or pushing an block or object around the room like in a trance. When I pull him out of it he screams. I'm at the point where I feel like I can't leave him alone for more than a couple minutes because one of these behaviors will start. Should I be driving myself crazy and running over to him every time he is stimming? Sometimes I can engage him to get him out of it but sometimes I can't. Should he be allowed to have some stim moments? Are cartoons an appropriate diversion? I hate putting cartoons on but when I need to do the dishes or something I'd rather have him watching curious george than pushing a block around the room. Any advice is immensely appreciated!

Hi

please forgive my bluntness

i have four with autism and i also have Aspergers syndrome

Why are trying to make him normal hun

he will do behaviours with or without diet and into AduLthood.

There is no cure and no intervention going can completly make autism go away.

Stimming is a way of release a way to get rid of tension.

Just like normal people bite nails or twist hair.

Stopping this behviour will only lead to him finding another way to stimm and the next could be far worse tahn the one he has nw

My children eat there own poo

eat washing powder head bang,spin ,flap,bite

finger flick body jerk scream screech i could go on and on

my point is your child has autism you cannot take it away no matter what you do.

my apologies again for being blunt

shell

I

Thank you for your response! I want to learn as much as I can!!!

your welcome hun

i know you are newly diagnosd and i remeber that awful feeling

i have my own support group for parents and carers of children with ASD

i have had to redo it someone very cruel deleted it

so its still not fininshed but there is a section on newly dignosed if you would like to come over your are more than welcome

shell

http://groups.msn.com/AutismAndAspergersInTheFamily

Post edited by: spectrummum, at: 11/19/2007 10:07

Herding 123, I have a quick question. BTW I LOVE your website! If I need to pull my son from spinning something or pushing something, or pacing the floor crawling (he's 15 months now), is there a way to do it that is good for him? I hate causing him so much pain but sometimes we have to go out, or I have to change a diaper, or something and I can't get him to stop spinning without a tantrum and obviously causing him emotional pain... Any thoughts are greatly appreciated. I am brand new to this adventure . I know my postings are basic but I am just beginning. Thanks to all who read, understand and reply....

You have to do what you have to do.As well it's not the end of the world when he has to get things done for him, that are in his best intrest.What I've learned w/my 7year old is.I wish I had not been so worried and always second guessing myself on the care for him.that for a very long time he really ruled the home.I wish I would have been told and shown how to work up to the diaped changing and so on,Where it would have been easier on him as well the rest of my family.So an idea is to maybe start a rou step one and in time he'll start to know step two and will not be so surprised.Maybe a song.or,and the same blanket put in the same place each time you want to change his diaper, making sure he is able to see what is going on and in time will understand what is expected of him.That being lay down whatever he is spinning at the time,because it is time to get his diaper changed. and after things are done he can return to whatever he was enjoying beforehand.I know it sounds easy but we all know it is hard work but you have to start now on gaining cont and giving him insight on things to come,because as things go he will get older and stronger,not the best time to start.So if you start teaching by steps now when he is older and stronger he will understand what you want.And you will love yourself for the hard work now then later!Just put togeather rou for going out,eating at the table w/family members,baths,diaper changing and so on.Be your own best friend and help youself out.and be the person that shows him step by step how to do things.in the end you will both be happier.I know i've said too much by now BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND RIGHT NOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO START NOW AND DONT STOP.TEACHING HIM HOW TO UNDERSTAND THE NEXT STEP!this giving him a life and you too

Post edited by: Ahsan, at: 11/20/2007 15:34

I tried to post but I think it got deleted. Thank you Ahsan for your well thought out reply. It worked! Since yesturday we sing OLD MCDonald had a farm ONLY during diaper changes. Since its a favorite, we only had one tantrum today during diaper changes. Thank you for the support and advice. I look forward to conversing again soon. Happy Holidays Ahsan and to all. Jenny from B.

I always feel so intrusive when I try to post as such a newbie in these communities, like I'm breaking in on a conversation. I have to say that Ahsan's advice was exactly what I'd give for caregivers of very young children with Autism. Make up a pattern that's all your own for doing things. If it's time to go out grocery shopping, make up a little song (not too short as our kids often have processing delays) that sets up the fact that you'll be leaving soon, have it include the steps that it takes to get there, use favorite tunes if your child has them. Barney is notorious for stealing the tunes to familiar songs to make up new ones about daily activities. I hate to suggest taking a page from his book, but I found it remarkably helpful with my little guy ... whose not so little anymore.

Also, if your child's stims are not destructive or harmful to him, instead of trying to find ways to eliminate them you might try finding a way to incorporate them into his learning process. We used toys that deliberately spun in order to help my son learn to speak, for example. Toys like those gears that spin in different directions and patterns, or little hellicopters that you pull the string to and they spin and fly away. When he used to spin himself instead of toys, we made it into a game that encouraged interaction. I sang ring around the rosy when he'd spin and join hin in spinning by myself in a circle just like him. When I got to "all fall down" I'd dramatically fall like I'd fainted onto the ground. The abruptness of it would surprise him and make him laugh and eventually, whenever he'd spin if I sang the song he'd "all fall down" by himself. Eventually he stopped the spinning alltogether when the game got too babyish for him.

All I mean by the example is that one of the first things Autistic kids need to learn is to engage with us. Too many parents, I think, try to force their kids to play with them in the way that they think "normal" kids should interact. I think that neglects a powerful tool ... that of using something that already excites, relaxes or just plain makes our kids happy to engage them on their own level.

As far as using cartoons as a babysitter. That's a judgement call that every parent needs to make ... not just parents of Autistic children. I have to say from my personal experience, my son's obsessive interest is cartoons and video game characters. He's wished at every birthday celebration since he was able to speak that cartoons were real. His interest is pretty broad. He knows all the producers, artists, voiceover actors etc. He's even told me that he wants to attend California's College of Arts, because he wants to work in animation when he "grows up." On the one hand, maybe he wouldn't have this obsession if I hadn't allowed him so much cartoon access as he was growing up. On the other hand, he might not have had a useful motivating tool for prodding his education otherwise. So, as far as that goes, I really don't have a direct answer. Use your best judgement. Personally, I don't think cartoons during dishes time is a bad idea ... especially if you make dishes time at a consistent time of day so that the cartoon that he watches while you wash dishes is consistant and appropriate to his age level. He'll come to associate the cartoon with mommy alone time and self regulate to the situation.

I hope that I was of some help, feel free to PM me or e-mail me if you ever want to talk parenting or Autism. I'm an old hand at it by now. My son is 14.

MammaT

Hi Atsumal! Just to let you know, updated my site and the page on stimiming, etc. Sometimes, joining in with the stim and showing him the next activity can help... The other is a couple min. trainsition time or visual timer if really need to get him to stop stimming for some reason or other. Sometimes things can be done while stimming. It's really hard to say, but also voicing him out of it could help... look at the EMT, dentistis, etc. page and you will see a 'voice fluctuation' technique that could be used to help redirect out of stimming -- Been sick again with Mono and got so into DailyStrength, Oprah and another support board I forgot about this one. LOL

Kris

PS: I'm glad you like the site Thank you.

I really hope this helps...

Kris

PS: I've updated my site a ton!!!