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08/13/2013 12:45 PM

Sibling question(page 2)

JAN2009
JAN2009  
Posts: 385
Member

Thank you so much. I feel as if though it is wrong for me to feel this way. It is actually harder to accept then when my son was diagnosed. I think because I knew something was wrong...it was really obvious. And now with her I am in denial. I keep thinking oh she is copying her brother or Oh she is just EXTREAMLY shy. I will come a round. I did with my son I will with my little girl. It might take a little time..like you said. What I am sure of is that I will only be an even stronger advocate for my children. My perfect beautiful children Smile

Thank you for your reply it made me feel better

Ermm hugs

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08/13/2013 07:11 PM
ajsmum
Posts: 143
Member

Girls present at times a differant picture of Autism spectrum and if you were already doing things in your enviroment to help your son with out knowing it you were helping your daughters development, such as limiting tv,a healthier diet or a more structured routine.Those things could have had a very positive impact in preventing an un diagnosed problem from becoming severe.

I am female so "very high functioning" that i am a polka dot just outside the spectrum. I think the whole high/low functioning thing is really odd...

Today i was not really "high functioning lol" when yesterday was a higher point for me...

Through my career and personal experiances I try to serve as a mentor for children with autism in my community. Because I do not specialize in certain interventions I am usually assigned with young children with more moderate to mild autism. Low and behold for the first time in all my career i have had for a over a year all sweet little girls!!! It has been an amazing special gift this last year as my only child is a boy and my husband and i most likely cannot have more children.

I understand why exactly why it is harder to accept that your daughter may be on the spectrum. I think it has do with what my mom always called "creepy normal". Meaning that things are not nuerotypical enough to send the alarm bells ringing in the same way as say your son did but all the same something seems slightly off . certain milder diagnoses often present in elementary school. This includes nonverbal learning disability,p.d.d.-n.o.s and aspergers syndome.

I tell persons love is the most healing thing. If you are an involved parent your children have a much better chance in life. no matter what label is on "the soup can", kids are kids i say and respond to love.

Blessings

nic


08/14/2013 06:13 PM
JAN2009
JAN2009  
Posts: 385
Member

AJSMUM....Thank you. You are right I have been doing with my daughter what I do with my son. It is just easier. I never really thought about it. I am feeling better today. I have a slew of appts she needs to go to.

thank you so much


08/18/2013 06:39 PM
ajsmum
Posts: 143
Member

You are welcome. It is all very good the services offered. I often wonder what i would have been "labeled" if this help was available when I was a child. I began to notice as something as a special education teacher working only with kids in regular classes. That the few children who were diagnoised as learning disabled dearest to my heart "that were most like me"were being rediagnoised when it became available as p.d.d-n.o.s and aspergers! I tend to think for myself(i cant speak for others) that p.d.d.-n.o.s and non verbal learning disability is like "aspie light"lol.My formal diagnosis is nonverbal learning disability due to an aquired brain trauma at age three. I think I was not labeled aspie because technically one cannot "catch" autism. I had developmental delays after having a brain infection that has impacted my sensory nerves and I have many difficulties in skills that are right brain dominant.I do feel the label "aspie" is who I identify as in that I live with all the same challenges.

I think the Ot is a very good idea. I had severe fine motor problems as a child. I did not write my first name till third grade and it only has three letters! Thank God they did not name me jaqueline Carol like they planned. If you cannot for example copy letters from a board you cannot read or copy others facial expressions. I also had to teach myself to count to ten when a person stopped in their speech because i could not read facial muscles of the person to determine if they had stopped speaking or were taking a breath. People think I am mad when I am not. I just do not have normal facial expressions and prosody (voice intonation/expression when singing,speaking or reading). I was given social skills training homework as an adult like go to a coffee shop and try to make small talk about the news or weather, go to a mall and observe tone of voice or facial expressions....lol oh i hated those.

I dont have food issues except when I want something I might want it at almost every meal for days. Clothes however! I had to train myself not to wear all black everyday in florida. THAT WAS REALLY HARD! LOL wedding dress shopping. I mean beads, rhine stones and feeling closed in a white stiff merange (like whats on top of pie) not to mention someone who wanted to dress and pamper me at my "bridal consultation". Did i mention I could not wait to run out of there!So like many things I found "another way". I became a specialist helping kids like me that have developmental needs.I finally love being an aspie and would not wish to be "nt". I have some gifts, i would not have if I tried to change even if I could.

So feel free to ask me anywhing you wish as I am in the unique "aspie light" club. I wish to help other women and girls who are not nuerotypical find their way and love who they are.

blessings nic


08/18/2013 07:46 PM
JAN2009
JAN2009  
Posts: 385
Member

Wow, you have a come a long way. I too would not want my kids to be "NT" then they wouldn't be who they are today. That is great that you work helping children. You know where they are coming from. Sometimes I find it hard to understand my kids...just because I don't know what or how they are thinking. I try my hardest....that is all I can do. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and for all your kind words, help. It means a lot. Smile hugs

08/27/2013 07:27 PM
ajsmum
Posts: 143
Member

Sorry to wait so long to have the peace and quiet to reply. I actually have to start physical therapy in the morning. I will spare u the details of that just request a group sympathy "ouwe"

the encouragement has been wonderful. I have met very few if any that treat/teach kids with asd that could possibly identify as asd- an odd predicament right? so sometimes it can seem a lonely thing and i don't tell people outright . But in order to help others I learned to love my self and share my uniqueness one step at a time. Once upon a time i hid it like one would hide an incurable addiction. My life at that time was a miserable fiasco. I was not really fooling anyone and hit a wall of depresion and constant tics due to the stress of trying to hold it in literally 24/7 when i married young before my "rebirth".

I shared my story because maybe few people will esp women who if growing up today would be little girls with the whole nld or p.dd-nos diagnoisis. It has not been an easy road-once was denied church membership for asking too many questions and more recently was told i needed to try harder to "let go and let god" for my "fixation" on a certain worry. i was deeply hurt at the ignorance. That is another example.

But I cannot change who I am. I found out the truth at twenty-five and it was like being born again. I think i went through the teen age years twice lol!! It took me longer to be "successful" in the adult world. learning to drive and reading "faces" was a personal nightmare. I found that getting a mentor for every skill was important lol. I was most scared to death to be aspie and a mom. I did not know anyone like that! Now I do-me!! so i wish to share with you because i so wished i had a female role model who was like me but there were none.

The parenting thing for me seems like what u mentioned with a twist. I am aspie like with a possible nt child. If he is not nt and has a specific learning disability like mommy-He will be the exactly brain opposite of me-oh wow right!. Nlds have right brain hemisphere disfunction but most persons with sld have left hemishere brain dysfunction. He was deaf for one year before Corrective surgery and so I am crossing my fingers and winging it too lol for languaged based learning disability.

Blessings

nic

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