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Hard time


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05/29/2008 06:17
proudmother
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 I know this may be to personal but has any one out there had hard time with Family members or there own married. If so will you write me and let me know how you may have deal with it all or even solve the problem. Because I don't know how much of it I can take and really starting to break down. Please help

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05/29/2008 09:25
spectrummum
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 What is it you are looking for hun

your post is not very specific,and having aspergers syndrome I find it hard to work out between the lines.

shell

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05/29/2008 20:59
metalynn
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 Are you looking for information on how to deal with family members and/or a spouse? If so, what types of issues are you having?


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05/31/2008 07:21
proudmother
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 I am just having a hard time with family member. trying to get them to understand that my son dose not underestand some of the thing they try and tell him. They just don't take the time to understand how my son works.

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05/31/2008 07:25
proudmother
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 If I am trying to get my family to understand that my son dose not understand every thing they say. And just for them to understand what Autism is so they can better understand my son and how he feels. And as for my spouse it's just a little bite of every thing I can not just pick one thing on that.

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05/31/2008 09:34
kari
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 Well I can relate to all of your concerns. I too experience the same thing all the time and its not just from family. I don't know how much you and mainly your son is around your family but I solved my problem with at least a family member and friend. I went down to Kentucky because My mom became extremely ill and I had to take care of her. She lives with her mother (my grandmother) and I too had a hard time making them understand and telling people she doesn't understand everything that you say etc... It became very frustrating. Well instead of just staying a week or two like usual I stayed over a month. So we all were together everyday, day after day for a length of time. That right there solved my problem. I found that in order to understand they actually have to be there fully and see and experience all that comes into play with these children. As far as a partner well sometimes men need a knock on the head (something that happens that makes them click and realize whats going on). its too bad that sometimes it takes that but I find it hard to be in a relationship due to I give my all to my child and have nothing left to take away to give to the needs of a man or relationship and if you don't they become very cranky lol plus something just has to click (like turning on a light bulb) for some people to understand, you just have to find out what it is or wait till it happens. I think he too needs to somehow realize what is going on with you. I hope things get better for you.

Kari


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05/31/2008 10:12
proudmother
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 I am not a round the family any more like I use to be. I have just stop going a round them all that much because of it all I just found my self fighting with them to much. It just gets to me because my kids love to be a round them and so do I and so it make it that much harder. As for my spouse I guess the problem I have with him is he's not round that much to see what I am going though with every thing. He just think about his self and no one else round him and I guess that what really bugs me about that I just never get that break like he dose. Thank you for writing back to me and leting me know how you deal with all of it and I will try and be round the family more and see if that will help. Thanks


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05/31/2008 10:52
spectrummum
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 I am afraid I cannot reply well to this,I have not spoke to my family in over 25 years so I do not have that problem,however I do deal with ignorance most days.

Because certain people do not fit the old cliche of "normal" It is hard for some to accept a disabilty regardless of its visabilty people do not want to see beneath,society is very superficial cosmetic so to speak.

Acceptance is a fight that will never end I am 40 and still waiting for acceptance form society.You must rise above there opinions,thoughts,beliefs because they can go home at night they can wave the problems bye bye so the situation needs them not.

shell

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05/31/2008 14:11
MotherofBoys
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 Proudmother,

You cannot make anyone see/understand the situation, for what it is, any sooner than they are going to be ready.

My in-laws and my parents are both in denial about my children being diagnosed as ASD.

It took hubby a long time to get where he is in his acceptance and even at that, he doesn't really understand or accept quite the way that I would like him to.

You have to jut keep going along, take care of your child and don't worry about when/if everyone else will come on board.

Just remember, we here at the MDJunction group are here for you.

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