ASD Families Support Group

Hi, we have a 4 year old boy who I suspect may be in the spectrum... but maybe not. I'm looking for some experienced parents to give me some advice. Here is our son in a nutshell...

-difficult baby, never ate or slept well, suspected colic.

still doesn't sleep well-night mares/ night terrors, constant movement in bed/deep sleeper

-severe tantrums in toddler years and still!

-quirky behaviours

-picky eater

-tags/clothing bug him

-very sensitive (affectionate too)

-lisp/mixes up pronouns/talks too loudly

-highly energetic

-All transitions have been difficult

(ie getting into the bath, getting out of the bath, getting dressed, undressed, to school. etc.)

-Creature of habit...loves routine and schedules...the teacher told us he studies her schedule everyday so he can see what is happening next.

-Everything is "too much" (ie. loves his baby sister too much...begins with a kiss and a love tap but ends with her crying because he is hitting her too hard with his love taps)

-teacher says he has difficulty staying focused but when he does do something it is "continous and eager"

-very aggressive/forceful when he plays (bangs cars too hard, crashes them too hard/loud)

-lines up toys/puts in piles (but not always) we've been working on teaching him how to play appropriately

-teacher says he preferes to play alone... do activities by himself at school but he does play with others too

-at the playground he initiates play and can make friends

-he is affectionate and cuddley/ makes great eye contact... this is a non-issue

-loves to move things from place to place... ie( he is happier piling wood in the garage for 2 hours than playing with toys... and as a toddler would move my groceries (ie. move all the clementines from the box to the chair and then from the chair back to the box, unpack pop into fridge) He loves this stuff!

-loves to copy words off the wall/around the house

-freaks out if routine is interupted, or if someone interupts his train of thought/mission he is on

-has a random collection of "special things" in his room (really bizarre items... like a broken nerf bullet, a badge, a car, a stick, a rock). At one point he wanted to sleep with his stick and rock.

-drags head/pushes head on floor like a bulldozer when tired/aggitated

-grinds teeth when intense.. usually ends up hurting someone

-high anxiety starting school (ie bus driver won't take him and teacher has to peel him out of my arms from the van daily... since September)

-very bright boy ( too bright sometimes because he can manipulate your words)

-severe behaviour/aggressive outburts... he hurts me and his siblings.. breaks things, throws things, name calls, screams at the top of his lungs, looses all rationality, long lasting... at least 30 minutes

-rubs taggie blanket/our nails to get calm after an outburt since he was little wee... but is now starting to flcik his finger to self soothe.

-misinterprets social situations (ie everyone hates me at school mom, lots of tears... but teacher says he is beginning to develop social skills and has friends at school)

-demanding of our attention/time... almost "greedy of parent attention... doesn't want to share mommy at bedtime when I'm trying to put 3 kids to bed!

-he is lovable, sweet and very smart but an extremely challenging and difficult child to raise. I'm exhausted...its causing stress on my relationship with my husband and he freaks out if I suggest the possibility of anything related to autism.

What do you all think? Does he sound like a child with ASD or just a "Spirited Child" (we are reading this book right now and its our guy to a "T" but I wonder if its more than that)

Thanks!!!

I appreciate any insight

I'm a complete dumbass, so don't take my word for it, but it sounds like Asperger's to me. Your kiddo definitely seems to have autistic tendencies, but he's verbally talented and pretty socially connected and aware which is not what you usually see with textbook autism. A proper diagnosis from a developmental specialist might give you some relief, as such a one could suggest strategies to manage his more difficult behaviors. Meantime, there's a book I just read, "10 Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm. It makes a good quick-read primer. Good luck, and keep us posted on your progress.

Wow it's been a while since I posted that. We are in a better place now. My son did get diagnosed with asperger's

Almost 9 months ago now. We have had wonderful

Resources from various organizations and are finding he has made

Huge, enormous gains! In fact, so much so that at times we forget he has an exceptionality, he is self regulating so much better. He is applying the strategies that have been taught and the teacher is making accommodations at school. The sensory body breaks at school seem

To have him coming home coping better we still have our moments that are challenging but I don't feel so much despair anymore. I find I am more at peace with it all. We are doing all we can for our little

Man and my husband and I are a great team to deal with his exceptionality. It was a journey getting to

This point. For my husband and I we each had to deal with it and accept his diagnosis in different ways.... And at our own pace. I thank all of you on this site who listened when I needed to vent... Because for a while My husband just wasn't ready. I realize now.... He needed time.this site was a source of strength to read, vent and reflect during a very tumultuous year. Thank you!

So glad things are going better for you. It has been awhile since I've been on.

I'm glad you're all doing well.

Nice to hear from you hope you all have a great holiday!!! Love, Deja