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02/14/2012 07:42 PM

Anxiety from Abuse

Posts: 715

I left my abusive husband last week. We've been married for 13 years. He is emotionally, physically, verbally, and sexually abusive although he doesn't think so.

Nevertheless, my anxiety started about a year ago. I quit my job and only went out of the house to go grocery shopping with him. In the months that followed, I started getting used to being in my house where it was safe and I could keep my guard up all the time (because of him and the abuse) in a controlled, safe environment. I then started to never want to leave, even to get the mail.

I've left him and am in a safe place hours from him. When I am in a new environment, I suffer from anxiety. I feel like I can't breathe, I want to leave, my stomach churns, and I get dizzy. I know it's because I've had to keep my guard up, adrenaline pumping, and in survival mode for so long because of the abuse. I want controlled environments where I feel safe, knowing he can't hurt me.

If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it.


02/15/2012 02:11 AM
Posts: 1659
Group Leader

Hello & welcome to the group! I am sorry that you have endured all of these things in your life, but it shows you are a very strong person to have survived!

If you aren't already doing so, you may want to consider professional counseling. The ordeal you have been through is something you will most likely need help in processing and getting on with this new chapter in your life. Prof counseling saved me after I left a situation not unlike yours.

You made what you considered to be your fortress or safe haven while in the midst of the abuse, and now you have had to leave it to be in a new truly safer place. It is only natural that it will take some time to get used to the new environment (humans are creatures of habit) and feel really safe. Give yourself some time to adjust.

Again, welcome to the group. You will find a lot of caring support here.

Post edited by: Catfishes24, at: 02/15/2012 02:34 AM

02/17/2012 11:59 AM
Posts: 2819
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate


God bless and keep you safe. What courage it took to leave. Keep strong and surroud youself with strong people ( not just physically) but srong with courage and the the ability to watch your back.

02/19/2012 03:56 AM
Posts: 1801
VIP Member

Welcome to the group, 'LifeAwaits' I strongly agree with 'Catfishes24' about seeking some counseling. What you have been through is a life altering event that most persons can not handle on their own. A good counselor can help you make sense of your feelings and why they are actually extremely justifiable.

The events we experience throughout our lives become components of our personality and our character. At age 54, I have just begun to really deal with my being abused as a child and am learning the techniques of 'standing up for myself' in many oppressive situations, in lieu of going into the 'little boy curled up in a ball under the table screaming at his father to not hit him again' mode. This same type of reaction seems to be what you are experiencing and I would hate for you to spend another 40+ years 'living with' that before 'learning from' it.

May you find peace in this difficult life journey. And, may your destination be filled with happiness and unconditional love.

Post edited by: 2ofme, at: 02/19/2012 03:57 AM


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