Anxiety Disorders Support Group

My mom was just 55 years old at the time of her death. Its been about an year since I have been living with him. I moved in right after her death. He was in no condition to be left alone. Same here, I too was very close to my mother. She was there whenever I needed her, she was my strength. It sometimes feels besides being my mom she was my only friend. She understood me much better than papa ever did. My father is affectionate but has trouble expressing his love and he is not very handy with words. Me and mom always could talk and not judge each other. Papa and I talk but then that talk has repercussions....you said this... I said that and all.

Thanks Gina for your lovely sentiments and prayers. You obviously can understand where I am coming from having suffered so much yourself. You must be a very brave and strong lady.

You are very strong Gina. I could never work in a hospice. I commend the people who are able to do this kind of work. I often sit and think how I will feel when my mom finally dies if she dies before I do. I have to turn those thoughts off quickly tho because it becomes really painful.

@ Ginag and MontyBabbu, we have all seen people we love die but do you think about your own deaths eventually? Does it scare you? This is why panic disorder is such a dreadful disorder. You feel like you are going to die but you don't. What a horrible thing to experience on a frequent basis.

Post edited by: LostInCyberspace12, at: 06/11/2012 08:26 AM

LostInCyberSpace, I have had a few panic attacks but aside from that I have no personal experience of this. My own mortality is a thought that often enters my head but that is when I want to escape my problems. But soon sanity takes hold, thankfully. I can imagine how horrible it must be to constantly think that you are near death. The fear might not even let a person live a normal life. Yoga, people often say, helps. Combining it with a few methodical breathing exercises called 'Pranayama' makes one more aware of their actual physical condition and brings a sense of peace and health.

Hi LostInCyberSpace12

I went through my Dad's passing all alone. I vowed that someday I would help others who were losing a loved one. That's how I found about hospice. I look back at that time when I did a lot of things I don't know if I could do now. Working with aids victums..how did I do that ???

if there is anyway I can help on a personal level reguarding death, let me know.

@ Ginag and MontyBabbu, who now still living do you think would effect you the most if they were to die tomorrow. Death is a subject we often don't like to talk or think about, but I think we should. I tried talking to my mother once and she said this upsets me and let's just not talk about it. I have a will with my mother as my beneficiary if anything ever happens to me. My mother refuses to do this because she finds the thought of death too painful to think about. We plan our lives but few us plan our deaths.

I think you are right LostInCyberSpace we do not plan our deaths. Although the thought is distressing it is also kinda comforting to know that your loved ones will be well taken care of when you are gone. My father is the most important person for me now. I think I just have to work on our relationship better. Talk to your mother and let her know that talking about death will put your mind at ease and maybe she will come around to see your point of view in a new light. This may actually be your way of showing love and how can that be anything but sweet.

@Gina... maybe doing some volunteer work would do me some good mentally and spiritually. Working with the sick would could be a healing experience. Would you recommend it to me?

Post edited by: MontyBabbu, at: 06/11/2012 01:19 PM

Thanks MontyBabbu. I think you are right. I really feel your pain friend. I love my mother too more than anything. Often, males will not have a strong bond with their fathers like you do with your mother. A lot of men find it a little bit awkward displaying affection for their fathers but think nothing of saying I love you to mother. I don't know why that is but that is the way I am. After almost all phone conversation with my mother, she will end the conversation with I love you. Most men have trouble saying this to other men.

Monty I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom for years ago. My mom was my family, for years it was just the two of us. I have friends that thought I should have "gotten over" losing her in a matter of days. The hardest part for me was that I wanted to talk about my mom only I didn't have anyone to talk to.

Ginga, you have my admiration for hospice. It takes a special person to do what you and the other hospice workers do. I know the hospice nurses my mom had where terrific.

Howtohelp922 that is what I am going through too. Getting over a mother's death is in no way possible for a child. I feel her presence looking over me in my moments of need. My father's face shines with a warm glow when he talks of some old beloved memory. This is why we love to talk about the departed, because in our memories they are still alive.... You my friend are most welcome to talk to me whenever you want to talk about your mom.