Anxiety Disorders Support Group

My 13 year old daughter suffers from an extreme anxiety disorder. She thinks way too much and way too deep.

Today she told me something very smart.

"If someone tells me not to say something or do something I'll know for next time, but how can I know when my thoughts come if they are rational or not?"

She self diagnosed from reading tons of books and actually asked me to take her to see a therapist. She sees one weekly

Wow. It's hard to hear about a child who is struggling. I didn't start getting help for my mental health issues until adulthood. I have all of the respect in the world for you for supporting your daughter. When I tried to talk to my parents at the age of 11, they offered to put me up for adoption, rather than deal with mental illness.

. I tried to talk to my parents too and my dad's explanation for my social anxiety was I was just too self centered .

What a dorky response it was the opposite.

I had low self esteem from all their criticism,

I think it's great also that you are supporting your daughter and her statement is very true.

It is true anxiety can be a useful thing like make sure you turn the stove off so the house doesn't catch fire,

But then we get fixated we don't know how to be cautious without going into paranoia or believing bad things are going to happen and we end up in a state of fright.

It is a bit of a mess we're in.

Be responsible , be thoughtful, be cautious , be safe but don't worry about it too much.

Well these things all require thought process and I do feel affected this way.

In trying to turn it all off I end up being a bit of a klutz.

The reason I can understand her so well is that I have an anxiety disorder myself and I was made fun of my entire life. It is extremely difficult though, especially dealing with a teenager coupled with extreme anxiety. Her brothers might say something innocent and she is paranoid that they meant something bad. Then she gets physical with them. Then I sometimes explode. I have my own problems too. I'm trying to explain to her how her thoughts are irrational but she can't see it. Paranoia is sometimes impossible to knock out.

It takes her 2 hours to get ready to go to school and she still has no time to eat breakfast. Its a huge struggle. She used to have selective mutism up until fairly recently that was eliminated with therapy.

Any suggestions? Ideas how to deal with that?

Would a checklist be possible.

That she could have on a clipboard and do each step one by one.

My husband had suggested it for our kids.

They don't know what to do.

This is a bit bad but my daughter if I get up will have me dress her.

She is 7.

All she has to do is give me the look and it's so much faster if I just do it.

I can have her dressed in maybe less than 2 minutes where it might take her 20 being prompted constantly take your shirt off, put this shirt on etc.

For her maybe this would be better.

My kids get up so early I think they are just half asleep and I have tried sending them to bed earlier.

But they always have to be told brush teeth.

She will just look at us with a blank look and say now what like she really doesn't know.

I have to be at work 6 am. It sucks. I chose this shift so I'm home when they come home from school and help them with their homework, cook dinner, welcome them etc. So I'm not there to help her. But I think its better this way because on the occasions when I'm home it doesn't work out because she is paranoid with everything I say.

I worked that shift also so I understand some of the draw backs.

I sometimes think it is better if my daughter is forced to get ready alone rather than have it done for her.

I don't think it is fair though to put all the stress on my husband and I don't like for the kids to get yelled at in the morning.

It's not a good way to start the day.

I respect your need to work though.

I would still be working if I could most likely.

My husband rarely yells. He would rather they miss their bus.

My daughter's paranoid behavior is getting out of control. I'll discuss it with her therapist next week. I hope she'll be able to help. My daughter told me that all she does is listen. She said she needs answers.