Anxiety Disorders Support Group

I am at a point in my life where I feel like I should finally be able to handle this feeling... but then feel hopeless... Today is one of those days... I feel like all I want to do is jump out of my skin... I feel riddled with aniexty today... and I hate that feeling... I feel like taking a xanax and going to sleep until the anxiety is gone... This time of year is the worst for me. While taking xanax and sleeping away the anxiety sounds ideal for me... its not realistic. I work full time and have 2 small children that I have to pick up from daycare in about an hour and a half. Hubby will be home in about 2 and half hours... and well... no rest for the weary... My kids are extremely dependent on my and vie for only my attention which in hindsight may be a good thing... but I today... the thought of getting them and going through the night makes me want to go to a bridge and scream as loud as I can... throw an all out temper tantrum... These days I am so desperate to get help to get these feelings under control... but I feel like it is never going to happen.. Insurance co-pays are too expensive... I reached out to local groups only to be told they are not free... and the one I did get into, the intern social worker had no clue what he was talking about... Ok... my rant is done... thank you for listening...

I've been through this and the thing I wish I would have done different is taken better care of myself.

I was overwhelmed constantly with the task load and it took a toll on all of us.

Do what you can to help yourself so that you can be there for your family.

Community health services usually have free or reduced fees !

I tried the dept of mental hygiene and they told me if I had insurance, I'd have better luck going through there.... That they have a year waiting list. I tried Catholic charities and that is how I got to see the social worker intern that had a lot to learn and because I want comfortable seeing him I would have to go back on their waiting list (at the bottom). I gave ther intern a try but after 3 sessions and what he would say to me... It was clear he was not what I needed and either thought I was an idiot or was an idiot himself...

Hang in there Shrubski, I know exactly how you feel. Things can get quite overwhelming especially with children!! I too struggle daily to "keep it all together" and not let this anxiety get the best of me. Just remember you are not alone and we are here to listen.

You almost need someone who understands what the stress of being a mother and trying to juggle it all is like.

Keep doing things for yourself even though it's never going to feel like it's enough or putting a dent in your deficit.

I see you joined a group of other mothers. They will understand more than anyone.

I have 4 very high energy children and my husband is the same exact way.

It drained me literally.

And I was trying to do it all work, keep house, take care of everyone,

I love them all it was just very hard to keep up with the demands and knowing I couldn't made me feel like such a failure.

I think we almost have to accept we won't get it perfect and that the love and care and energy we do put in is a symbol of our love.

Forgive yourself. It's not your fault,

Nobody could do what you're trying to do.

Some of us implode others explode,

Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 01/10/2012 07:18 AM

Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 01/10/2012 07:18 AM

I too know what it is like to carry the full load and work full time, that's when I exploded (as damsel says) and my panic attacks got the best of me. I am now on temporary disability and am dealing w life day to day. I feel the same way damsel did....like a failure...deep down I know I'm not but it is hard not to feel like that when everyone around you is like, "why can't you handle it?" As we speak my anxiety is through the roof!! I hate it!!

You all are amazing... Thank you so much for your support and empathy. As I type this I am sitting in the docs office to find out if I can have my Effexor increased and an rx for Xanax. I just hate anxiety so much and that def has a lot to do with it... I get into these, "who picks up and takes care of me?!" moods and then it's like a snowball... I don't have enough patients for my son (he has ADHD, ODD and SID) and then feel bad for yelling at him and losing my cool... Then I feel guilty about do I treat my daughter better b/c she's so easy and such a pleasure to be around? Meanwhile I love my son more than life he just makes it so hard... And where am I goin to get the energy to make dinner, fight with the kids to eat, get them bathed, entertain them... Am I doing something wrong b/c they hate being home they are so bored... And the list goes on... I totally neglect myself... But feel like if the only thing I want for myself is a day to myself... But then I feel guilty that I could be taking care of the house, catching up on errands or instead of spending money on myself, the kids need stuff... I'm sorry... Didn't mean to go all out panic there... Lol. It really helps to know I'm not alone... Thank you guys again..