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01/06/2013 04:50 AM

I Stop Breathing when I get nervous

valleyboy19
 
Posts: 7
New Member

Hi everyone, I am a very shy person and have been all my life.I notice though since I am getting older,( 62 ) plus I think going through multiple life tragedies in a fairly short time,

(I lost my only son in a car accident, he was 28 years old. Shortly after I lost my small trucking business, just could not do it anymore.My wife became sick with many medical problems and could not work anymore.

A year after that I lost my dad to dementia.)

My shyness seems to be worse now plus I am more nervous than I have ever been. I notice when I walk into a store, say 8 times out of 10, I get very nervous and stop breathing. I don't even know that I have stopped breathing until I guess my body tells my mind I better start breathing.

I notice too that this is not limited to meeting strangers as I do the same thing near people I know. What can I do to stop this ?

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01/06/2013 07:53 AM
Plo83
Plo83  
Posts: 2647
VIP Member

Hi there. Welcome to the group. First of, I'm sorry for all the tragedies that happened to you (in such a short amount of time). Losing your only son must of been horrible.

Tragedies like this can trigger anxiety symptoms. What you call being shy, I would now call a problem since you stop breathing. Would you agree with me on that, sir?

The first thing that I recommend you do is to read our FAQ on here about Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder. You may want to read the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder section as well. I think that you could be affected by all 3 of these anxiety conditions. It sounds like a lot but in the end, the results are the same: you get overly anxious and your body reacts letting you know that there is a problem that he wants you to acknowledge.

You NEED to see your physician. I think that you could benefit from both medication and therapy. If you refuse the medication for now, so be it. Start with the therapy. You've undergone some terribly stressful situations and you need to deal with them. You may think that you have but there is still something there that is causing a blockage. Of course, I don't expect you to ever forget your son, your dad, to not be angry about your wife being sick...That would make you inhuman. There are some things on each of these subjects that you may still need to get off your chest and say and you may not even know what it is yet. A therapist will get there with you. It could help you out tremendously. Also, I'm not trying to be rude so please read this knowing that I'm saying this with the utmost respect. You are a gentleman who has 30 so more years of life experience than myself. My dad is almost your age and I know that for him, going to the doctor is a sign of weakness, etc. It's not. Trust me. Men live longer and longer nowadays (we're catching up ladies) because we do go see our physicians. There is no shame in it. Just because we're men doesn't mean we don't get sick, hurt or break down... So if you're from the same mentality as my dad, please snap out of that ASAP or you will be like him and often suffer needlessly or have small things grow into big things (like a cut he didn't get taken care of which would of taken 30 mins in the ER that wound out being a 3 week stay in the ER for a nasty infection)


01/06/2013 09:21 AM
valleyboy19
 
Posts: 7
New Member

Thank You so much for your very informative response. I really appreciate it. I will go and read through the FAQ sections you mentioned.Hopefully there will be something there that I can use to help me. I am a lot like your Dad and do not want to see the doctor if I can help it, but you are right. Maybe I should look into seeing a doctor soon. Going next week to the V.A. hospital to get my yearly flu shot so maybe I will see if I can

get an appointment with a doctor. Thank you again for your advise!!!

you don't know how much I appreciate it....I am crying on my keyboard right now...Your act of kindness has moved me...Thank you for reaching out to me.


01/06/2013 10:23 AM
Plo83
Plo83  
Posts: 2647
VIP Member

I'm glad I was able to get you started on the road to getting help. We're not doctors here but we have a lot of info and a lot of caring! Don't be afraid to ask anything. There are no stupid questions and nothing is taboo. I myself live with a major anxiety disorder. I was not able to leave my house, felt like I was dying all the time and checked my pulse several HUNDREDS times per day. I am 100% serious. I felt like I was going crazy for feeling like this and felt very much alone. It does get better. I can promise you that. I have to take pills for my anxiety but now I don't check my pulse all the time nor do I feel like I'm dying 24/7...It's not a miracle cure. I have some anxiety that gets out of control every so often but it's not nearly as bad. It's 95% better I would say and that my friend, is what I call having my life back because the anxiety stole it from me. I was not the bubbly guy who enjoyed doing all kinds of activities anymore. I just wanted it all to end then came the light at the end of the tunnel. A very dark tunnel. If I can do it, anyone can. I swear!

01/06/2013 11:21 AM
valleyboy19
 
Posts: 7
New Member

Wow...My hat is off to you...That had to be incredibly hard for you to

"get your life back", like you say, under those circumstances.

Thank you for telling me that. It gave me strength.

If I could get 95% better I would be very happy....Thank you my friend...

I have high hopes now and look forward to seeing the doctor this coming week!


01/06/2013 03:15 PM
Plo83
Plo83  
Posts: 2647
VIP Member

Thank you but we all do what we have to do in life, right? We're just like any other animal, really- we want to live/survive and avoid pain. I think it comes naturally to most people unless they have a disorder that causes them not to. I really hope that your doctor is able to figure something out with you. I remember when my anxiety started, and it SUCKED.

01/06/2013 04:07 PM
damselndistress
damselndistressPosts: 16968
Group Leader

Hey valleyboy19. I have a tendency to do the same thing.

Now that you know you do this try and see if it helps to take nice slow breaths in and out in those situations that usually trigger you. It takes a while but over time it will help you.

Welcome to the group.

Sorry to hear you're having these issues.


01/07/2013 04:24 AM
valleyboy19
 
Posts: 7
New Member

I guess you are right in saying most of us just want to live/survive and avoid pain. I never really thought about it that way....Going to see my primary doctor today at the V.A. and he should put me in touch with a doctor to help me with this...Hope all goes as well as it can....Thanks again!

Thank You damselIndistress for the breathing advise!! I will try that today...Going to the doctor at the V.A.....Gonna be all kinds of people around...Stressful...Sorry you are going through what I am too....I know how much this stinks...Have high hopes on getting this behind me so I might be able to enjoy life again....Thanks again for the breathing advise! I sure do appreciate it....Good luck to you too...


01/07/2013 04:57 AM
damselndistress
damselndistressPosts: 16968
Group Leader

Good luck today...let us know how it goes.

01/07/2013 10:44 AM
valleyboy19
 
Posts: 7
New Member

Thanks damselIndistress for the breathing exercises!!! They helped a lot today on my trip to the V.A....I talked to my primary doctor about what I have been going through with losing my breath when I go into a store or when I am around a lot of people and mentioned that I think I should talk to a doctor about it, and my primary doctor agreed with me...But..He said it will take some time to get an appointment because they are all backed up right now....I told him I understand....So.....I am in a holding pattern right now until they call me...Hopefully not too long....See what happens...I at least have "something in my pocket " ( the breathing exercises ) right now that I can use when I need too until they call...Thanks damselIndistress !!
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