What to do when it comes.

Lori

When the feelings start, have you tried to busy yourself with other things to keep your mind off of it. It is okay to take your mind off of what is bothering you until you feel well enough to work through the feelings. I ws told to keep telling myself that they are only feelings and would pass soon. Do breathing techniques that your therapist could teach you or I could if you want.

Ive been having the similar problem lately with the thought of my ex getting out of jail. He is in for not paying his child support for the last 5 years. He was one that was very abusive and told me I'd never ruin his life by taking his money. Now I'm worried he is going to come after me since I was at the court house and told them to do something this time. He was jailed for 3 months.

Has your therapist recommended anything? You may need different medication for taking right away.

I hope that you're able to feel better soon and get all of this worked out. I'm here for you!

I'm sorry you ex is like this. My daughters xbf is the same and we pushed until he was jailed, not for child support, no he didn't pay then, but for menacing. She had extreme anxiety when he got out. He did leave her alone though and has to pay his child support. I don't know why some men are like that...it's not your grubbing for his money...It's to pay his share to raise and feed his child. Why do they forget the child...I just don't get it.

Thank you for the advice.

Lori

Anxiety is pretty common when dealing with those issues. It is a normal reaction to being upset or afraid. We spent many hours upset and afraid when we were abused. One of my therapists recommended mindfulness. I don't understand it completely.... but it has to do with breathing through the feelings, and letting go of them. Letting yourself feel it, aknowledge it, and let it flow through you. It worked when I had new memories and thoght I was losing it. Another thing they told me was to have a comfort item around to hang on to. Hold on to it when your feelings come out. Remember that you're safe now and that they no longer can hurt you.

I really don't know why the children get lost in all of this. Even the court system gives dead beat paents too many rights. My ex hasn't seen his child for many years but could come back and get parenting time if he wanted. It isn't right!!

I hope that you find ways to help you through this. if you ever need anything, let me know. I'll do my best to help.

Sounds like your going through a tough time there, gal. I do believe anxiety is a demon itself, or a form of one. When my anxiety attacks start my hands don't exactly shake, but they "draw" up, like a weird muscle spasm and that lasts until the attack is over. I used to always be afraid I would pass out, pee on myself, have a heart attack, etc. All the symptoms we all go through. Are you seeing a doctor or counselor or crisis worker at this time? Maybe if you could try to talk to someone (and rem. the police can keep the jailbirds away from you, they'll be glad to put them right back in) LOL - to get some of these feelings out and then maybe see what he/she says what to do from there? I wish you the best of luck! P.S. Always remember the children are out little innocent ones in these situations and I know you will put them first!

Good luck!