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dreamsofinsomnia Posts: 1719
VIP Member
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my life is falling apart my marriage is a shambles the baby has collic and my husband blames me, in fact he blames me for everything that ever goes wrong and it is all on me, i am scared to say anything to him anymore he just explodes and spews out all this negative stuff i feel like i can't even leave me room anymore, i just breastfeed the baby all day long and nothing else, every second i am not feeding the baby i am getting yelled at by him when i tried the approach my councelor said he just exploded that i misrepresented and he don't do those things and that me and my councelor are full of bs there is no talking to him anymore he basically expects me to sit there and take it say he is right and feed his ego and not think for myself because after all i am wrong about everything i am sorry i havn't been on lately i am having lots of problems including finding any time to do anything between the 3 year old, school, the baby, and him i am just falling apart if i could survive i would divorce him and leave but i don't have the financial means to make it on my own, i grew up without i can't make my children go through that Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out:
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
contact me on yahoo messenger under jennyleuchtman
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ExyLexy Posts: 1532
Senior Member
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First of all you dont need a man to survive. Financial reasons are a pain in the backside, but you can do it sweetheart. I know you are beyond stressed out ..between the kids and your husband, but stop and take a breath. Do not blame yourself and do not let him get to you. You are a wonderful mother and you need to be strong for your kids. You just had your baby..What a beautiful gift! Do not let darkness block the sunlight. It is about you and those babies and when your husband finally decides to grow the hell up and act like a husband then it will be about him too. Wish you the best!! Fight for what you love, Not for what you hate.
Lexis |
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bindiboo Posts: 1271
Senior Member
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Hi Dreams......I just got goosebumps reading your post....I am feeling your pain right now.........You just gave this man the most precious gift in the world......A baby........You do not need to put up with this......My mum left a absive realtionship with 4 kids under 6 in toe.......You are stronger than what you think.......You will be able to do this......I am forever grateful for my mum leaving my father.....I do not think I have missed out on anything not having a father.......I am thinking of you........Hugs Bindi...xxxxxx  Post edited by: bindiboo, at: 11/18/2009 05:52 PM I am not a medical doctor.....My opinion is purely that....I try & give the best advice to help others from my own experiences.......
" We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
I don’t know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.
http://www.facebook.com/bindiboo
Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past,stop planning the future,stop figuring out how we feel,stop deciding what we want,and just see what happens.
Forget the past, it has already happened, worry not about the future, it has yet to come. Concentrate on today, and make every moment count. |
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dreamsofinsomnia Posts: 1719
VIP Member
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i just don't feel very strong right now it takes every bit of energy for me to get up i bring the baby to my bedroom and hide in there all day long avoiding him because he causes me to have panic attacks when i am near him Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out:
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
contact me on yahoo messenger under jennyleuchtman |
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leomed Posts: 341
Member
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Do your best to relax, focus on your baby and yourself...You're a mother now! Your child needs you, and you need yourself to be able to take good care of your baby...  |
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bindiboo Posts: 1271
Senior Member
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Dreams...Have you no family or close friends near by???? You obvously need some support right now.........Some-one to come & help you so you can have a rest.......You also need to get out of that relationship......Your children will be better for it & you......Please take care........... I am not a medical doctor.....My opinion is purely that....I try & give the best advice to help others from my own experiences.......
" We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
I don’t know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.
http://www.facebook.com/bindiboo
Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past,stop planning the future,stop figuring out how we feel,stop deciding what we want,and just see what happens.
Forget the past, it has already happened, worry not about the future, it has yet to come. Concentrate on today, and make every moment count. |
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ExyLexy Posts: 1532
Senior Member
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Yes you do need some rest my god you have been through quite a bit..Does he not understand that! Kick him out! When push comes to shove my god shove him out the door. I know that is not the right way to handle things, but the way you are being treated is absolutely horrible! If it were me i would find a set of headphones (connected to some music) hold my baby tune my husband out walk around my house and just sing..Relax not have a care in the world. Fight for what you love, Not for what you hate.
Lexis |
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BrandiJo Posts: 1584
Senior Member
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dreams, i totaly understand your pain. my daughter had collic and my fiance would scream bc he was tried of hearing the baby scream, and then everything just fell to shit. i do have to say that things did get better once my daughter grew out of the colic. its soo hard to have to deal with a screaming child ALL DAY and then a screaming husband ALL NIGHT. try getting out of the house. even if you put the baby in a stroller and walk around the neighborhood. sometimes fresh air will help the baby as well as you. but the best thing to do is NOT TO LOCK YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM. that right there would throw anyone into a depression. as for you husband, are you comfortable leaving him with the baby for an hour or two. you need to give him a taste of your reality. maybe if he sees how hard it is to deal with a colicy baby, he will understand that hes not helping by screaming at you. ( i had to do that)... and let me just tell you.. the whole 2 hrs i was gone.. i was freaking out thinking he wasnt taking care of my daughter corectly. anxiety was killing me... but i knew i had to do it. and it helped. good luck girl.. i am soo sorry you have to go through this... its NOT FUN! try to atleast enjoy your lil one as much as you can... and know that this colic will be over soon.. i promise! ~Brandi Jo~
a simple smile says a thousand words
~*~*~*~ GOOOOOO GATORS! ~*~*~*~
please remember.. i am NOT a doctor. my advice is strickly ONLY my oppinion. thanks! |
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