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11/18/2009 04:06 PM

falling apart

dreamsofinsomnia
dreamsofinsomnia  
Posts: 1719
VIP Member

my life is falling apart

my marriage is a shambles

the baby has collic and my husband blames me, in fact he blames me for everything that ever goes wrong and it is all on me, i am scared to say anything to him anymore he just explodes and spews out all this negative stuff

i feel like i can't even leave me room anymore, i just breastfeed the baby all day long and nothing else, every second i am not feeding the baby i am getting yelled at by him

when i tried the approach my councelor said he just exploded that i misrepresented and he don't do those things and that me and my councelor are full of bs

there is no talking to him anymore he basically expects me to sit there and take it say he is right and feed his ego and not think for myself because after all i am wrong about everything

i am sorry i havn't been on lately i am having lots of problems including finding any time to do anything between the 3 year old, school, the baby, and him i am just falling apart

if i could survive i would divorce him and leave but i don't have the financial means to make it on my own, i grew up without i can't make my children go through that

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11/18/2009 05:45 PM
ExyLexy
ExyLexy  
Posts: 1546
Senior Member

First of all you dont need a man to survive. Financial reasons are a pain in the backside, but you can do it sweetheart. I know you are beyond stressed out ..between the kids and your husband, but stop and take a breath.

Do not blame yourself and do not let him get to you. You are a wonderful mother and you need to be strong for your kids. You just had your baby..What a beautiful gift! Do not let darkness block the sunlight. It is about you and those babies and when your husband finally decides to grow the hell up and act like a husband then it will be about him too.

Wish you the best!!


11/18/2009 05:51 PM
bindiboo
bindiboo  
Posts: 1271
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

Hi Dreams......I just got goosebumps reading your post....I am feeling your pain right now.........You just gave this man the most precious gift in the world......A baby........You do not need to put up with this......My mum left a absive realtionship with 4 kids under 6 in toe.......You are stronger than what you think.......You will be able to do this......I am forever grateful for my mum leaving my father.....I do not think I have missed out on anything not having a father.......I am thinking of you........Hugs Bindi...xxxxxx

61501 S

Post edited by: bindiboo, at: 11/18/2009 05:52 PM


11/18/2009 07:30 PM
dreamsofinsomnia
dreamsofinsomnia  
Posts: 1719
VIP Member

i just don't feel very strong right now it takes every bit of energy for me to get up i bring the baby to my bedroom and hide in there all day long avoiding him because he causes me to have panic attacks when i am near him

11/18/2009 08:04 PM
leomed
leomedPosts: 341
Member

Do your best to relax, focus on your baby and yourself...You're a mother now! Your child needs you, and you need yourself to be able to take good care of your baby...Smile

11/18/2009 08:36 PM
bindiboo
bindiboo  
Posts: 1271
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

Dreams...Have you no family or close friends near by???? You obvously need some support right now.........Some-one to come & help you so you can have a rest.......You also need to get out of that relationship......Your children will be better for it & you......Please take care...........Smile

11/19/2009 05:03 AM
ExyLexy
ExyLexy  
Posts: 1546
Senior Member

Yes you do need some rest my god you have been through quite a bit..Does he not understand that!

Kick him out! When push comes to shove my god shove him out the door. I know that is not the right way to handle things, but the way you are being treated is absolutely horrible!

If it were me i would find a set of headphones (connected to some music) hold my baby tune my husband out walk around my house and just sing..Relax not have a care in the world.


11/20/2009 05:43 AM
BrandiJo
 
Posts: 1584
Senior Member

dreams, i totaly understand your pain. my daughter had collic and my fiance would scream bc he was tried of hearing the baby scream, and then everything just fell to shit. i do have to say that things did get better once my daughter grew out of the colic. its soo hard to have to deal with a screaming child ALL DAY and then a screaming husband ALL NIGHT. try getting out of the house. even if you put the baby in a stroller and walk around the neighborhood. sometimes fresh air will help the baby as well as you. but the best thing to do is NOT TO LOCK YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM. that right there would throw anyone into a depression. as for you husband, are you comfortable leaving him with the baby for an hour or two. you need to give him a taste of your reality. maybe if he sees how hard it is to deal with a colicy baby, he will understand that hes not helping by screaming at you. ( i had to do that)... and let me just tell you.. the whole 2 hrs i was gone.. i was freaking out thinking he wasnt taking care of my daughter corectly. anxiety was killing me... but i knew i had to do it. and it helped.

good luck girl.. i am soo sorry you have to go through this... its NOT FUN! try to atleast enjoy your lil one as much as you can... and know that this colic will be over soon.. i promise!

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