Angry STBXH - "Soon To Be X Husband"

Since my husband left the home, the children are so much more relaxed. They talk more, stay with the house activity instead of retreating to their rooms, etc. They're friends and my family have even noticed the change in the kids. They are not walking on eggshells waiting for their dad to be upset over something.

After one horrible night, I filed for divorce. Not on ground of cruelty, just differences, wanting to split things 50/50. His response was to throw the book at me. He wants the house sold, he wants maintenance from me, he wants a home study to prove I'm an unfit mother, he wants more than half of the assets.

Every-time I do run into him he starts in on the harassment again. He's an expert at pulling me into his scenario's, pulling at my heart strings, then kicking me in the gut. I've tried arguing back, agreeing, doing everything he wants from me, ignoring him, all to no avail. He's so out there in left field, creating stories of my infidelity, cruelty to my children, etc. None of which I have done. My lawyer has requested proof for all of these allegations, which I know he cannot.

I tried one last time to discuss the children and the effect his demands are going to have on them. For they are my first and only concern right now. I didn't want to restrict his access to them. They are older and have learned over the years how to safe guard themselves from his outbursts. Which he doesn't do in a public situation anyway. I didn't want to cheat him out of anything, I only wanted to be divorced and fair in the settlement of finances/custody. But he is so angry, he cannot see reason. I have their counselor that will testify to the fact that if the children are forced to move out of the only home they have ever known, it would be detrimental to their mental state. I asked him to at least reconsider asking the courts to order the sale of the home. His response was that after all the sweat he poured into the home, he wasn't about to let me get it. He's not thinking of his kids, he's once again being selfish and thinking only of his revenge on me. I'm deeply saddened for how his actions will affect the kids. They already dodge his phone calls and cancel their time with him, for one reason or another. I want the kids to have a good relationship with their dad, why can't he see that it's important for the kids to have me too? Why can't he get it in his thick head that if he continues down this path, he's going to lose his kids too. They are old enough, that the courts will listen to them and not just past a ruling about residency.

I also worry slightly about where is snapping point is. He owns three hand guns and they are with him at his mom's where he has been staying. Of course he says Im insane and would never hurt me. But, you've heard the news about similar cases and what could potentially happen. The petition for divorce does have an order of protection built into it, so I can call the police if anything gets out of hand, and they will actually do something about it. Until then, I continue to be here for my kids, tell them I love them, work to support them, laugh and cry with them, be their mom.

Thanks for listening, if you have any thoughts or comments on all I wrote, I would enjoy hearing from you.

Thank you

Marny