Oh yes Jeff!
I am relating to your story big time.
My in laws have been a huge source of stress for me since the beginning.
My mother in law first comes in bragging usually telling all about herself and all the wonderful things she's doing.
Then goes into a bizarre report of family events that usually contain her own bizarre twist on everything.
She's quick to come up with strange rationales for why things are happening that make you just sit there and think-now you don't really believe that do you?
Then she goes into interrogation stage where she begins to ask all types of personal questions and has a way of talking at you not with you.
Then I didn't think about it but she probably goes on to the next person doing the same exact thing and reporting bizarre twists on what you're doing.
Bottom line she's a very self centered gossip and busy body with no respect for boundaries.
She would come unannounced to bless me with these visits.
Lord have mercy why did I not put a stop to that.
Ridiculous is all I can say!
Now then how can we help you Jeff.
My solution is I avoid her like the plague.
I let husband handle all issues with his family because if I get involved things get absolutely nuts.
Husband will side with me at first then they'll pull them to their side and thta makes me feek like I'm in a battle with all them. WHY?
what are we even fighting about?
Control!
Well I'm sorry I believe the couple should make the rules for their home and everyone else can either respect them or butt out!
I'm not sure if this will help or not but I tried many different things and nothing seemed to work.
I even went to counseling.
But mine are so hard headed I married into a family of abuse.
And when husband started in on me I was shocked and called mother in law who was a pastor of all things and she told me I deserved it and it didn't hurt kids to be around it.
She admitted it in counseling.
Where this was supposed to get us I don't know.
She is trouble.
Doesn't understand her place in our lives and there is no other way around it.
I think the key is composure.
Stay composed and find a nonconfrontational way to deal with it.
Develop a strong bond with your wife and agree on everyone's role in the family and stick to it.
Grandparents should be taking a supportive role not a dominating one.
Hope this helped.
Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 05/25/2012 11:31 AM
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