Anger Management Support Group

I'm ready to give up.

Totally lost all hope.

Very sad and discouraged.

I'll get up and go through the motions of life and try to do a few things and smile for my kids.

Life is too difficult especially when you feel so alone.

I don't understand why my relationship to life is this way.

How it has become so discouraging.

I just know that for whatever reason this is where I find myself over and over again.

Me too! Today sucked! I have more of those days you just discribed than I can count! But I'm not going to give up! I'm tired, disgusted, lonely, frustrated and pissed off! I'm gonna lay down for a bit, have a good cry, a little pitty party just for me, then I'll come back here, and maybe find just one positive thing to POST! Right this minute, I just want to reach out and touch somebody,,,hard!

Well I have been up.

Loaded the dishwasher.

Did some laundry and put the clothes away a couple pieces at a time walking all over the house.

I don't want to get blood clots from inactivity.

Boy after I sat down my heart was pumping hard so that was good for my body.

I guess we do need to think of our bodies.

The kids are home and loud.

I had tried to talk to husband about being gone so much and he just exploded.

For one thing he doesn't realize how much time he spends away and what I deal with while he is gone.

I was hoping for a mix of family time and to get some things done during the holiday break.

At the very least some help with the kids.

Well that's not happening much.

When I bring it up he just has behavior all over the place and blames me.

He imagines he is doing it all here. Oh my!

So I hope now that that conversation is out of the way we can regroup.

If the kids get on my nerves I will just have to take time outs in my room or something.

I got no where with asking for help.

I think we need a plan Reba.

I went to the pdoc today. I rode the bus there and back by myself. 5 hours outside! When I got back "Home" is just felt sick, I was going to lay down. but couldn't get comfortable or rest. Tears wouldn't come either. So I sat here, in front of the computer. Not reading, not posting, I think I stared at the screen for a couple of hours! I feel hollow!

Really, I think we need to take a couple of days off! Do only what has to be done and let the rest sit there! I think we are over stressed from the Holidays, regardless of if they were good or bad, with our families or spent alone! I don't think it even matters if we had money for gifts or if we didn't! Ther is so much emphasis put on Christmas, shopping, company, wrapping gifts, perparing special foods, parties, unexpected guests, and yes sick kids, not feeling well ourselves, and way too much expectation of ourselves and others. We need a break!!!!!And we shouldn't feel guilty about it either!

I think you are right I feel very much that same way I feel hollow.

I feel like it doesn't matter what I do or don't do things are just going to always end up back in a hole.

It makes me so sad because either I was getting the wrong impression or it seemed like things were going really well and then boom it just came to a screeching halt and I don't even know why.

What I see is my husband spending all day long everyday texting his friend.

Going out to eat with him almost everyday that he has off.

Going to his house for hours.

Loading tunes in his iPod for him.

Going with him to buy tires.

Grocery shopping together.

I don't think my husband is married to me any more.

I think he has switched his focus and attention elsewhere.

Before I had a job I had my health I could just take the kids to a movie or try to do some of the things myself.

With my health in a pit I have lost that so I just have to sit by and watch my husband shift his focus from us to this other male and shower his attention on him.

This has happened many times and I don't see what I can do.

My husband has not slept normally for days.

He stays up late on the couch texting and texting watching tv.

I was so ready to go out there and say "Why don't you just go be with him."

I think that is a mistake for my family.

But he falls asleep on the couch for just a few hours and then he is up again.

That started first.

Then the visits everyday for hours.

And plans with the friend.

I'm not sure how to regroup for myself.

I have just stayed in the bedroom.

Tried to stay away but I hear the phone blipping constant back and forth.

I really do not think my husband is aware of his own actions and how this feels to me.

I think he gets bored and changes his focus from one thing to the next.

This friend must be providing him with something he needs I do not know what.

If it's just the attention?

I do not want to compete with it.

I feel like I'm caught up in the middle of a love triangle.

Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 12/30/2011 06:55 AM

So now it's car stereo?

Did he buy another one?

This sounds like self indulgence.

What is going on?

Why don't I get this?

Is the friend a cover for this other shopping that he is doing?

I so do not get what is going on.

Now he is on phone again with friend saying they have to run an errand.

Does friend support him in this stuff and that's what this is all about.

I am so so confused.

I get the feeling we ( his family ) are being blown off to go pursue this other stuff.

Okay I get it!

Whatever!

Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 12/30/2011 07:10 AM