angry frustrated

As my username suggests I am damn angry at myself and at everyone, cos i have treated everyone with respect and sincerity and all i get back is abuse of all sorts. Physically, mentally socially abused by my ex , he almost suffocated me and i still i have memory changes from that. I just ended up with him, and here is sis-in-law who uses my problems to make me more down and cant tolerate me talking to my brother. She constantly makes him aginst me by lying and hippocracy. She has been making up stuff against the whole family, even before she got married, but now she uses my situation to degrade and humiliate me more. i cant sit with my bro, she starts yelling and fighting. she even advocated my ex, to kidnap my son, and take him out os the country.

why my brother doesnt understand what she's doing? she is so good at being double character, that he doesnt seem to understand, she comes to us and say hurtful things in his absence, and on his face she lies and makes up stuff saying that we hate him and his kids.

All these things make me crazy and angry ,and i dont know how to deal with it and whom to pass it to.......

I'm very sorry for all your going thru....families are a difficult thing to deal with at times. May I suggest something....if you feel like your bros wife is a hippocrate, one way to get it out into the open is as a family confront her in front of your brother and ask her why she says certain things. She maybe flabbagasted enough and trip over her tongue and perhaps your brother might see what your saying is true!

I'm not sure if that would help, perhaps you even tried it. Another suggestion is (I don't know how old you are)if there was a way you could get away or move away from family turmoil? As a last resort....stay away from her. Don't get into even a conversation with her. I've had in-laws who were married to my brothers and at times they were being backstabbing towards me and my sister. I just stopped dealing with them. I kept my converstions brief and short, nothing deep!!

I don't know if you read your bible but there's a great scripture I'd like to share with you in Proverbs 14:29 that says: "He that is slow to anger is abundant in discernment, but one that is impatient is exalting in foolishness". If you think about that it's really telling you that you'll be able to stay calm and see things more clearly and become wise in what to say. Being impatient can lead you to do something foolish and that will ruin what you want to accomplish, and that is to help your brother. However, did you ever wonder why your brother doesn't seem to care? If he doesn't care, why should you. The less you say the more he may eventually will see....

These are just some suggestions and I hope you can find the strength to let go and let be. I don't know your whole situation so if I've misunderstood anything, please forgive me. It's not my intention to hurt you.

Well, I wish the best for you and hope someday soon that things go smoothly in your life!

Spruce

She has been brainwashing him strongly before marriage that any discussion that she has with him regarding anyone or us has to be kept a secret, which he strictly follows and he hates us if we try to speak up. Like once I tried to do the confrontation and all i got was, she plainly denied doing any of the things and also she started brainwashing him more against me and as for my bro, he hated me for opening up.

I am not living with him. I sometimes want to visit him, but she simply throws me out of the house within 5 minutes.

The Proverbs that you have shared here is what I need. Over the years, I have had such bad experiences that I have lost my patience and now that I have come out of the abuse cycle I want to get out of this vicious cycle of anger that has build up within me. I am thinking of getting counselling, may be that will help.

I have eventually realized that it's his life and thats what he wants, so i should stay away from him.The strength is all I need to let it go, which is really hard to find at times.

And are you kidding me, what's there to hurt me in your post. Thanks for the support and suggestions, they have been really helpful.

Post edited by: DamnAngry, at: 01/12/2008 11:38

I'm glad you found anything in what I said useful.

In todays world we see such anger and rage. This fast pace world we live in doesn't help. Our emotions get out of hand and we want things to happen quickly.

Then when we face problems and someone Else's anger, it's to easy to respond in kind. I have found the scriptures very helpful. I have faith in our heavenly Father and His word and that he will help all those that listen to his will and purpose. Of course we have the fine example of His son Jesus.

Many people today don't realize all what we deal with today can be helped by the scriptures. There not outdated, in fact bible principles covers all that with what we face. We have mental health professionals that try to get deep into us (but needed for some) that if we just apply bible principles we would be just fine. Sometimes I listen to Dr. Phil and when he responds to certain problems I chuckle because the bible already had that answer.

People today have lost sight of that, sadly.

Well, forgive me for going on and on.....I just glad to share things that have helped me. If you don't mind one more Proverb in chapter 15:1 where it is very simplely put: "An answer, when mild, turns away rage, but a word causing pain makes anger to come up."

So simple but true, don't you think?

Well, I'm happy to have talked a bit with you. Anytime you want to vent feel free to. I try to be a good listener and of course a good pupil in learning what I can.

Take care and I hope all works out for you......

Spruce

P.S. It's good you don't live to close. Why bring their i ssues into your life, right?

Post edited by: spruce1, at: 01/12/2008 17:59

"An answer, when mild, turns away rage, but a word causing pain makes anger to come up."

I think people today are still following it, but not the first part, only the later part of this Proverb

It's nice to hear your point of view, and I believe it does work, though it needs a lot of patience. Pateince is the key to success and in today's world we need more of it.

Thanks again for the support and care. Do keep in touch and take care.