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03/18/2011 06:10 PM

anger management

cabinmema
Posts: 5
New Member

I am in need of some help; I yelled to my boss today and did not mean to; Had a conflict with another person at work. I take full responsibility for my actions and want to create a better working relationship with others I am around.

I am in need of help to stop and think about some things before reacting.

any suggestions?

Ermm

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03/18/2011 09:40 PM
sifted
sifted  
Posts: 917
Senior Member

Sorry to hear that you had a flair up at work, I have been there before. What always happens to me in these situations is that I end up being over assertive or defensive and then I usually end up verbally aggressive. I tend to ponder what happened for awhile to make a little sense of it all, when I feel I over reacted or was to rude and might have been off base I apologize to that person and leave it at that. If you don't get fired then you still have to work with these people, if you were wrong then admit it and leave it at that. Then I try to live by "do on to others as you would want them to do on to you".

03/19/2011 05:34 AM
cabinmema
Posts: 5
New Member

I understand. My problem is that I am a supervisor and it is very unprofessional of me to yell at anyone. I just want my co-supervisor to listen to me when I have an opinion. I have printed off alot of stuff from the internet, I also think I need to talk someone, as I am doing to help me, with people who have been in this situation before and have some tips.

thanks, for answering. I do beleive this will help.


03/19/2011 06:07 AM
mem8445

Hi cabinmema; Being a supervisor can really take it's toll on you and I could not do that for any amount of money!!!! I've had many supervisors scream and yell at me because they know I'm weak and will not respond in like manner as they are my boss and I should respect them. However if they continue to treat me with an angry attitude I will express my anger as well. Like sifted said do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.

But it doesn't mean react with anger just because they did.

I feel I deserve as much respect as the boss and if I don't see that I leave real fast.

I do understand your issue though and hope you can find a way here to overcome that anger and be a pleasant boss......


04/16/2011 01:17 PM
cabinmema
Posts: 5
New Member

I have been doing great since joining. i have held my temper and take things for what they are and go with the flow. I make my point known and ask others for a healthy response.

I have the medication and notice I will need to return to my primary doctor and up the dosage. I do feel better and notice that when I miss a dose, it really affects me.

Anyway, doing much better!!! thanks to all for replying. I will post more often.


04/16/2011 03:38 PM
jstsIm
jstsIm  
Posts: 7262
Group Leader

I'm so gladd you are doing better! I know meds help me, not only with anger but with that out of control feeling too!

I hope that you will keep posting your progress and tell us your secrets too! Any tips on anger control are most appreciated!

HUGS AND A TICKLE!

Reba


04/16/2011 08:37 PM
royalg07
Posts: 157
Member

I am so proud of you cabinmema it is so hard to control emotions especially when you are passionate about something. I have been having issues at my job too but it is with upper management; a lot of what's going on itsn't fair and it feels like they are trying to seperate instead of unit the department!

I also have an issue with expressing myself and sometimes when I am in the heat of the moment especaially when I feel like its not my fault I will become aggressive because I feel like I want to get my point across. I am going to work on that also because I can see how that can hender instead of help the issue even if we are in the right!

Keep working at it and welcome to the group!


04/18/2011 06:23 PM
cabinmema
Posts: 5
New Member

I had a horrible today!!! I locked my keys in my car, for they would not come out of the ignition switch, so they sat in my car all day, locked. I had to call a lock smith to come and open the door, then try again to get the keys out. No budging. So I left my car unlocked the rest of the day, paid the guy 55 bucks for using a blow up pad, like a blood pressure cuff and pumped it open. I was not too worried about it being stolen, for it was in our patient parking lot. Anyway, I then called the dealership and told them what happened, and after work I was to take my car to the them.

I showed the 3rd shift supervisor around today and showed him our practices, with covering another floor of a supervisor who was off. I have just come back from having 7 days off of work and get slammed into this. I took in all in stride, however I don't think my facial expressions did much for me today. On top of this, I had done 2 PDI's, (pre-investagatory meeting) for two seperate employees. I also covered my own floor too. I don't think the other supervisor learned much from me today except that we are extremely busy like him at night only on a different scale.

I kept my cool, did not say anything to the boss, although I really wanted to know what the heck she was thinking? Why do that? It does not make sense to me. Then again, she is the boss. I won't say anything to her unless if I really disagree.

I feel so much better. Now I need to exercise in the morning to release the stress and go into work refreshed and knowing I will lose weight eventually.

That subject is for another day. Thank you for your post, and I am sorry to read to the lost twin boys, that is pure hell, then again congratulations on being pregnant agian. Hope all goes well.

Life stinks at times.


04/18/2011 06:32 PM
cabinmema
Posts: 5
New Member

JSTSIM-- I did a lot of copying off of things that I could find on the internet for free as far as anger management goes. I found this site also and thought it would be a good idea to write down my thoughts and feelings as others do when something comes up. Normally I am not a rude or obnoxious person, I normally get along with all people. Just in the last 8 years or so, I have noticed that I am changing and not for the better. I have been tested for Menopaus, and that came back as mildly. I noticed right away when the anger was bad, and I became upset at the smallest things. I did go my regular doctor and she put me on a medicatione to help with mood swings and the sweats at night. It has taken over 3 years to do this well. I will continue with what I am doing and knowing that there are people just like me who need to write things down to get it all out. I will stay in touch thanks, cabinmema

04/19/2011 08:45 AM
jstsIm
jstsIm  
Posts: 7262
Group Leader

Peri-menopause is no picnic, cabinmema! And it takes YEARS tp ge thru it! What was GOD thinking? LOL

As for me, I skipped that whole experience. I had breast cancer several years ago, chemo therapy sent me straight into menopause, no stopping at go, no collecting $200!

Liek you, I have read article after article, self help books, I go to therapy and see a pdoc, but honestly, sharing here, knowing I'm not the only one having conflict in my soul, has been the only thing that has really helped!

I see things thru different eyes, when I read the threads. I see the struggles others face, and mine seem to diminish in both significance and occurence! My heart grows with empathy as it grows with patients, for myself and others...

I keep thinking, we are all good people here! Bad things are happening, but at least we are doing our best, thinking not only of ourselves but others. And I also try to remember, no one can do this alone! What we get from each other is encouragement, and a willingness to listen rather than just hear, I also find this one thing Anger Management could be called Managment Skills period, aren't most business problems caused by or thru anger?

Here, we have the unique ability to express what we are going thru and get positive feedback, no matter how awful our day or our reactions to others! That to me isn't the same as a pass to continue in what we know is inappropriate behavior when we are angry, it gives us a platform to gain understanding, to find solutions, skills, and a place to heal our hurts so that we do become better people!

I think YOU are doing all you can do for right now! Most people never even try to change, perfectly content to be the meannies they are! Kuddos for You kiddo! I think YOUR GREAT!

Hugs, Reba

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