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alznotwell Posts: 1033
Group Leader
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As inextricably bound as patient and caretaker are to each other, there are many days when it is just not possible to see the other's point of view. The patient needs help, and who is more expected to provide it than a spouse or other close family? Patients, through no fault of their own, lose their ability to care for themselves. Caretakers, through no fault of their own, are having their own lives taken away until nothing remains but Alzheimer's care. As AD progresses, the caretaker cannot leave the patient for even an hour without getting someone to step in and take over the caretaker role, and often the patient rails against any kind of separation or alternative care for even that one hour. How fair is that? The patient is terrified and the caretaker is worn out. Many of us never found a good answer to this dilemma. Ultimately, each situation is unique and those involved have to resolve the dilemma as best they can. Unless there are ample funds available to provide other help, I would think divorce would be problematical just for monetary reasons alone, not to mention any vows or promises broken, but sometimes when the person in the caretaker role cannot perform adequately for all kinds of reasons, a nursing home may be the better alternative for both patient and caretaker. Perhaps the best we can do is not to judge caretakers who cannot stand up to the rigors of personal Alzheimer's care, and not to judge the patient who clings to a caretaker because it is the only liferaft they can see. ANW Nothing I discuss on this forum should be taken as a replacement for medical advice by a licensed physician, because I am not a doctor. Please check all drug and other medical matters with your personal physician. |
