Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

Hospice is with her almost fulltime now. I went to feed her last night at the nursing home and she was not good. Today the hospice nurse has called me several times while I'm here at work. Her vitals remain irregular and she is steadily declining. Her heart rate bounces between 67 and 122 and her respirations are 28 to 36. Oxygen level is dipping to 89 and she has some mottling in her feet now.

I cannot handle much more. I have hardly any family left now and I am about to loose my Mom. I've just seen glimpses of my "real" Mom in the recent past---but she is still my Mom even though AD has robbed her of so much.

I need help and I don't know what or how to get it. I just cannot be strong anymore. Life just absolutely is horrid in my opinion. My Mom was such a wonderful and kind woman and she certainly does not deserve this at all.

I am so sorry bonkers. It is hard seeing moms like that. I understand what you mean about having the AD robbing her but she still is your mom. I felt the same way. You can be comforted knowing hospice will make her comfortable. They are great. They also have someone to talk to. I would try to make a photo albumn or scrapbook with your life with her. It will be a great deal of comfort to you. Now I would visit when you can and read her poems or Bible passages she liked. Rub her hand she will like it and it will help her be calm. Bring someone with you when you visit. Feel free to pm me. I have assess to hubbys computer during the day and then late at night.

The bereavement group is very supportive also. Hugs and a shoulder to cry on.

God bless

Lori

Thank you so much for all the hugs and thoughts sent my way. I went to visit Mom last night after I got off work. She had a fever of 101 but yet she would open her eyes when I would say Mom or Vera. I held her hand and played some Christy Lane gospel music for her. She loved music & would always hum when she was in a really good mood. I think she was just a tidge calmer once I played the music for her. I just sat and cried and blew my nose and told her I loved her alot. Told her it was okay to go and that Daddy would find her. She just looked so frail and so sick--not my Mom at all. As I sat there crying the nurses would come in and hug me and ask if they could call someone for me and I didn't have anyone to call. It was nice for them to be concerned about me. I just don't want my Mom to suffer or to be in pain and for her transition to go easy for her. I hate being at work knowing she is just laying there---I just wish life would be different and society would allow us to care for our elderly and sick like they should be cared for. I am just so glad I found this forum here! You are all so nice and comforting---something I need right now! Thank you again for all your kind thoughts and hugs!

Post edited by: bonkers, at: 11/04/2008 07:53

I can identify with what you are saying. It was also hard for me to see mo so sick. Playing music was a great idea. Just trying to have her be calm is the best you can do now. Make sure you care for yourself also. My mom liked me singing to her and reading scripture. She also calmed down when i rubbed her hand. She seemed to know it was me there. Know I am here. So sorry you are dealing with this. God bless. hugs

I did rub Mom's hand. I think touch is so important. A soft touch. It's just the last little bit of my Mom that I can actually hang on to and hug.

When did you lose your Mom?

I lost her last year on Oct. 17. I was with her when she passed. She would calm down when I rubbed her hand. She tried to smile but already had forgotten how to. I sang to her. She seemed to like it.

It was the first time I actually saw someone die. It gives you so much mixed emotions. You are glad she isnt suffering anymore but you miss the mom you used to have. You are kind of in a shock for a week. Days run into each other. I am here for you bonkers.

Hugs

Lori

Post edited by: singingangel, at: 11/04/2008 09:14

My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. I offer you my prayers and my hugs

Tony

Very recent. My Mom's birthday was Oct. 21 and she turned 77. I lost my Dad two years ago on Sept 14th at the age of 78. He had PSP--same disease Dudley Moore the actor died from.

I am very close to my Mom. We used to call each other whenever we would see a rainbow or the first crocus of spring---that type of thing. She'd call me on my birthday and sing Happy Birthday to me. I knew something was wrong several years ago when she started calling me on the wrong day of my birthday. It was the little things that should have been connected like that. Towards the end here I know she recognizes me as family because she always smiled and grinned but there were days she thought I was her sister instead of her daughter. But that was okay with me as long as she recognized me somehow. I think I still made a connection with her last night. She tried to smile when I told her who I was. HEr words I couldn't make out---they were jumbled sounding. Our family cannot sing a lick---Mom could---but the rest of us couldn't--so we played a lot of CD's and records and radio stations. One of the songs Mom always sang while doing dishes was a song about Ka-Sa-Rah by Doris Day. Mom was always such a happy Mom. Loved us kids to pieces!

I am glad you were there, bonkers. You gave her the peace she needed. My mom was 78. I sang hymns and a lullabye she used to sing to me and my girls when they were small. I do think they recognize more right before they leave us. My mom seemed like she did.

Your mom sounds like a very good loving mom. She will always be in your heart. I know she loved you.

Hugs

Hello, just want you to know you & your Mom will be in my thoughts. Hope you reach out to others for support. Life is rough and tough and full of yucky stuff...but hang in there. Life is also full of good stuff. Linda from Bodfish.