JR1
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Dear Ldynwting, Maybe you can a copy of the book "ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS"--at almost any book store. Read it yourself, saying nothing to your husband. Between readings, if you have the courage, be sure to lay the book down somewhere in plain sight. Don't make a big deal of it, as if you were reading any old book. If he questions you, just say you "have a friend..." and you were curious. Leave the rest up to your hubby. If he has a problem, that's for HIM to judge. If he has a problem, and he wants to talk about it, he will probably go first to an outsider (AA, doctor, counselor). Don't feel hurt if he doesn't really want to "talk about it" to you. If he has a problem, he will probably feel embarrassed or guilty to admit it to you. It's probably a testament to his feelings of love or concern for you. In an ironic way, he has simply made an attempt to spare you from his pain. Don't dismiss the possiblity that he DOESN'T have a problem with alcohol. ...and don't dismiss the possibility that, if he DOES have a problem, he can't SEE that he has a problem. Later on, in recovery, if he HAS had a problem, he will be more willing to put his guilt aside and talk to you. This is the approach I have taken with loved ones and family members of alcoholics. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Okay? Regards, Jim James A Rist
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