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03/06/2011 02:04 PM

My Intro.

hillyard
Posts: 16
Member

Okay. Where do I begin. This all just kind of happened without any real planning on my part. I am a 33 year-old male and around 2004 I went through a severe depression! SEVERE! Anyhow, I started self-medicating to ease the suffering and got too used to liking that numbing feeling. It didn't help that I was also playing in a bar band getting free drinks at every show. So anyhow, the depression eventually lifted (through prayer and new opportunities) but the drinking habit stuck around. I wasn't drinking as much and I wasn't getting hammered but it was a guarantee that I'd be drinking every weekend and sporadically throughout the week. Am I an alcoholic? Hmmm. I assume if I'm here talking about it I most likely am but I'm a very "in control" alcoholic at this present time. So anyhow, don't really have a reason why but I just kind of stopped this week. This is my first full 7 day week without a drink. I feel kind of weird, especially having not had a drink this past Friday. I certainly have more energy but I'm extremely bored. I'm usually a very creative person but for some reason I cannot get myself to focus. I'm sure it has something to do with the new sobriety. Anyhow, not sure if I'm saying no to drinking for good - Just kind of no for now. So basically I did a Google search for sobriety and boredom and here I am. Smile
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03/06/2011 03:22 PM
odiecom
odiecomPosts: 207
Member

welcome to the group. well, the only person that can say if your an alkie or not is you.

when ppl deal with illness or other emotional issues the do self medicate. they do because its the only way THEY BELIEVE they can deal with things. it creates a small amount of FALSE enjoyment. its like sneaking out of the house at nite, its fun while it lasts, but in the back of your mind you KNOW your not really having fun. you have thoughts about gettin caught.

same thing with drinking. its fun until it controls us. there are weekend warriors, binge drinkers etc etc. it all boils to the same thing.

you feel weird with out your drinking. your bored. what did you do before you drank ?

the idea is to find new levels of enjoyment. broaden your horizons. raise the bar that keeps you where your at.

i dont know if your an alkie or not. why go back to it ?

your answer to that will tell alot.


03/06/2011 04:11 PM
Kelti
Kelti  
Posts: 4168
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

After all the drinking and then making a decision to stop can make a person feel like they are in kind of a 'fog' of sorts. Congratz on your 7 days of sobriety!! That is a good start. Being bored can kinda go along with new sobriety. It's like 'what did I used to do before the drinking got started'? What did you do? Have you thought about AA? That would be a teriffic place to find out if you are an alcoholic or not. If you go and just listen to what the people are saying that should help you see your own self a little bit more clearly and then you will be able to make a more informed decision on if you are alcoholic or not. Just remember alcoholism is a progressive disease, even while the problem drinker is dry.Laughing Laughing Ermm Laughing

Post edited by: Kelti, at: 03/06/2011 04:13 PM


03/06/2011 05:06 PM
hillyard
Posts: 16
Member

Why go back? Good question. I don't really have an answer for that. When I was in the midst of my depression the drinking was getting pretty bad but I haven't really had any bad consequences in the past few years. It is definately self-medicating though for anxiety but I seemed to be in control of it. But there you have it I guess - I'd go back to continue self-medicating for anxiety. Also, I do enjoy drinking and feeling buzzed. I want to lay low and stay away from it for awhile.

03/06/2011 05:44 PM
odiecom
odiecomPosts: 207
Member

sounds fair. why do you want to lay low on it ?

03/06/2011 05:54 PM
hillyard
Posts: 16
Member

Why lay low? I guess because it's become too much of a crutch. Plus, going for a beer run to the gas station with the kids in the car always feels wrong. i would also like more overall energy.

03/06/2011 06:26 PM
odiecom
odiecomPosts: 207
Member

very nice. you do realise that you may not be an alkie but see that you have the possibilities of becomming one and your taking steps because of that.

i just wanted to see what you said about it. you didnt let me down. i dont think you will let YOURSELF down either.


03/06/2011 06:30 PM
Kelti
Kelti  
Posts: 4168
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Well, with out the booze we certainly do have more energy to do things, that's for sure.

More energy for self care, family care, job care, more energy for going places you want to go ; do the things you want to do. More of an interest in our spiritual well being too.

Would you mind telling us a little more about how the drink was dragging you down??Laughing Blink Cool Laughing

Post edited by: Kelti, at: 03/06/2011 06:31 PM


03/06/2011 08:19 PM
hillyard
Posts: 16
Member

A good question for me would be what constitutes an alkie? I was under the impression that daily intake would be a good indicator which certainly is me. As far as the drink dragging me down I would say it is interfering with my spirituality - I am a Christian, causing me to feel guilt (I have 3 kids), and lowering my energy considerably making me house bound (can't go out driving after drinking). Also, there are some phusical issues. My choice poison is beer and it's not exactly good for the figure. Also, it was making me hungry when I probably didn't need to be. Even right now as I type this I would kind of like to go out and pick up a Bud Light 6 pack but I'm not going to.

03/07/2011 04:58 AM
jlemom34
jlemom34  
Posts: 170
Member

HI Hillyard,

I think you just need to think of something different to go to when you feel like picking up that 6 pack. Almost like quitting smoking, if you've ever done that. Myself, I need a vice of some sort. Right now it's sweets. But would be nice it was tea or something..lol. Maybe it's a crossword or a quick game on the phone. I'm sure you will think of something to focus your attentions on. Good luck! It is really hard to quit drinking, even if you think that you don't actually have a "problem". I live in that gray area myself....it's a tuffy. Keep us up to dateSmile

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