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02/15/2009 04:40 PM

Love/Hate

Alisha14209
 
Posts: 4
Member

Recently I started finding comfort in alcohol. But when i drink i have no limitations so i get sooo waisted to the point where im incoherent. I feel good when i drink because my body feels numb and i feel so free. But when i drink i become an entirely new person. Sober I am quiet and classy. But when i drink I become a mess. I have sex with the wrong people, i say mean things, and i become very aggresive with my words. Its to the point where my friends are getting tired of hearing me crying to them on the phone over this. I hate alcohol after i drink it...but after its out of my system, a few days later i want it again. The world feels so concorable with alcohol and nothing is off limits. Why cant i just grow up and deal with things the way i should? Or is the problem deeper?
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02/16/2009 09:00 AM
AndysCandi

Hi Alisha,

Welcome to the group. Alcohol changes people...and it is a progressive disease. You are using alcohol as a medication to give yourself permission to do things you don't really want to do....that is the compulsion of the disease. When you say there are no limitations that signals a problem drinker. How long have you been doing this?

It's not a matter of growing up...it's a matter of either controlling your drinking or getting help if you simply can't stop drinking.

I'm sorry you are going through this...I can remember feeling exactly the way you feel right now. Hang in there, I'm here to listen, my dear

Ange xoxo


02/22/2009 05:39 PM
Alisha14209
 
Posts: 4
Member

Thank you for the reassurance AndisCandi. I havent been drinking for long. I'd say for about 5 months. I completely agree with you. And recently i discovered that it has helped to develope fake connections with people. I feel like my problem grew after my break-up of 3 years. I never felt as if i could get close to anyone again...and alcohol has allowed me to do just that. I'm working really hard to control this.

02/22/2009 05:54 PM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Hi Alisha. Welcome to the group. Ange is right. You are using alcohol to open doors for you and instead it's sucking you through into situations that are unhealthy. You won't find meaningful relationships through the bottle, though, no matter how they seem when you are drinking. If you are already hating the way it makes you feel after only 5 months, that's a big red flag that you should take note of. I'm glad you have found your way here where you find support to help you not drink your way into a place that ultimately you don't want to be.
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