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04/19/2012 09:21 AM

IDK Wut2DO

weallgotpain
 
Posts: 6
Member

Hi, i am not a person with many friends and I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for a few months although we've known each other for years. We moved in together recently and for the past few weeks I have felt left out of his concern. When he is sober he is the best man ever but when he is drunk( which is most of the time morning noon and nite) he a strait A word. I thought I could handle it just by ignoring him when hes drunk until he passes out n such. But now he has become physically angry. I want to help him and he says he wants to stop drinking but then he comes home with a bottle. I just dont know how to talk to him anymore. I have children which makes this worse and I just dont know what to do but leave...I have my own baggage and he is the only one that has BEEN there. I want this to work and I want to help him I just dont know how. My mother is also alcoholic Im 25 shes been that way since before i was born. I am scared that my attraction to him stems from being around my mother my whole life. I do not drink at all which makes it harder for me to see either of them that way. I have been single for 5 years specifically because I wanted to avoid abusive relationships and it seems as thought I have only landed myself back to square one....Your Thoughts PLS
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04/19/2012 03:08 PM
Bangbang
Bangbang  
Posts: 7153
Group Leader

Check your other posts. I have responded to them.

Post edited by: Bangbang, at: 05/09/2012 03:27 PM


04/19/2012 04:52 PM
scooby64
scooby64  
Posts: 384
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

I was involved with a lady who used to tell me, "You're not an alcoholic," and while she did not drink much herself, she never discouraged me.

And I am one angry son-of-a-bitch when I'm drunk, and that seems to go with the territory of lots of us alcoholics. People show up at A.A. meetings with black eyes, arms in casts, and all manner of complaints that have a lot to do with their last time in the ring with alcoholism.

Part of the secret for success of an alcoholic in a relationship is to have the partner participate in his or her recovery. There is a program called Alanon and it, like A.A., has meetings for people involved with problem drinkers.

You might want to call your local Alcoholics Anonymous office and inquire about them.


04/19/2012 05:20 PM
weallgotpain
 
Posts: 6
Member

he gets to where he looks like the dead guy from Weekend at Bernies every nite

04/19/2012 05:25 PM
weallgotpain
 
Posts: 6
Member

Well I tried to speak with him he said we were going to have an adult conversation I tried to speak with him in a mature manner and he wouldnt even let me finish and told me he was gona sip before me with me and after me. He didnt even give me a chance he started blaming me but truthfully he just is not ready to quit he lost out on a very good woman I was appearing to be his personal servant and he still didnt care...I gues it was because of my alcohol volume I love him I was very patient as he gathered his things he did not want to leave my house key though said he had to come back for the rest of his things im thinkn I should get the locks changed so he wont damage my property wen he gets drunk later on tonite. he must have been drinking because he then said i was gona quit today to

said my karma was gona come back on me guess what he hit me and that is not something i can tolerate....I just ask for support in not giving in to his advances later on...They always come back for me Wink


04/19/2012 06:00 PM
Bangbang
Bangbang  
Posts: 7153
Group Leader

Don't give in. Stand your ground. Tell him its either the drink or me. Just my opinion.

05/09/2012 03:18 PM
smiley1
 
Posts: 23
Member

My answer to you would be "get out quick!" while you are not emotionally tied to this man. although something has drawn you. i wish i had gotten out quick and yet was unable to do so.

what i discovered was a not half bad human being, drunk and sober, with mine. calm, and non-violent drunk. lucky with that and allows me to take his drinks when he's had too much.

i wish i had gotten out but i think the best strategy along with distancing yourself

is to attend al-anon and get help for yourself and figure out the why and how

about yourself and how to work on yourself - rather than him.

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