Alcoholism Support Group

Hello - I'm new to this group and have just found MDJunction. Looks like a fantastic site with a lot of great people. I'm 49 and need a Liver Transplant from drinkng. I joined both the Alcohol & Cirrhosis site. Quit drinking when diagnosed in Sept 2011. Been to rehab once 2011, Al-Anon for years.

Just as I start to get over the past including a gun to my head during a home invasion/mugging, I find out I have Cirrhosis and need a transplant. My older brother (like a best friend to me) came to live w/me to help me through til the "best" or "bitter" end. Now, 6 months later his drinking has worsened because as he says, he's bored and lost his Zest for life.

Anyway I'm angry! I feel very insulted and disrespected that as he watches me suffer through the stages of this disease he drinks 24/7 in front of me!!! Am I wrong to feel insulted? Thanks everyone! Ru

Post edited by: ruth8890, at: 01/27/2012 05:36 PM

Welcome to the group, Ru! I am glad you found us. The folks here are great. Is your anger justified? In your shoes I'd be angry, too. You are trying to stay sober and have a terrible condition because of drinking and his drinking in front of you doesn't help at all.

Have you talked to him about it? If not, it's time to do so. He needs to drink elsewhere if he's going to drink at all. But he needs to understand how it makes you feel to see him drinking all the time when you are in the condition you are. I am sorry you are facing what you are. It must be very difficult to live with Cirrhosis. I sincerely hope that you get a transplant soon. And I am sorry you are living with your brother's drinking. Again, I think you need to tell him that it's got to stop because of how it makes you feel.

Hello uppity woman! Thank you so much for your kind and understandng reply. You've certainly got your head on straight! My brother and I did haven unusually "heated" talk last night but mostly about all his excuses for not quitting or even trying. Anyway - Since we are both on disability (me=the past and present; him=2 smushed disks, alcoholism and depression) He is at his computer on the dining room table whenever he's awake. I'm only about 15 ft away where I sleep on the couch and use my computer.

So, I'm wondering. If I find the right words, how could he manage to NOT to drink in front of me. Maybe move the computer and table so I can't see him and move the bottle to my bedroom where he sleeps? Sometimes, like when Family Fued is on TV or Football, he'll sit right next to me and the Vodka reeks...reminds me of my old boyfriend. I knew he was actively drinking before he came to live with me but didn't realize the extent or the impact. Same tall red plastic glass, bottle next to fridge. Up and down all day making a fresh drink. I just don't want to do any permanent damage to our relationship. Counseling iw working w/me on being sure I use "I feel" or "This effects me.." etc and not YOU sentences... All I can think of is to ask him to go to a hotel for a week and think about his situation because I shouldn't have to leave my own apartment or my kitty. Yet that might permanenetly scar our relatinship. Last night when I asked what should I do to cope..he just wait 1 more week til I see my doctor again. There WILL be another excuse after that I'm sure. I feel so stuck. Sorry uppity woman to go on so long - I'm hurting. Thanks, Ru P.S. I used to be on Lamictal and Prozac and Klonopin for Bi-Polar in my twenties but a few years later it all dissappeared. Weird. Once they get that right mixture though I've seen wonders in so many people and friends.

Dear uppitywoman - I fogot to ask you - ow do I replace the picture beside my entries to show one of my actual photos and not just the "See Profile" sign?

Again thanks, Ru

Hi.Ruth Glad to meet you. You are in a very tough situation. I don'yt know just how sick you are but is there any way you can get to alanon meetings. It does not sound like he is going to even try to stop drinking. I really don't know what to tell you in this situation. Does he help care for you? Can you get out of the house? Are other living arangements possible?