Alcoholism Support Group

Just feel the need to really talk to someone but face to face I really cant.

I cant attend AA meetings because I feel that for my age its pathetic for me to be an alcoholic and I feel that the older members will look at me like i'm a joke. I know there is no age that you have problems from but i just feel so stupid because I cant not drink.

I have been off of work for 1 week and 2 days with a virus. I cant eat anything and can barely hold down water and low and behold I can drink Vodka.

I have been drunk every single day.

My partner of 5 years knows that I have been drinking and is now beyond the stage of trying to stop me. He now just says he is leaving at the end of the month. I have a really good job that I am ruining as I have so much time off work because I am so drunk. This time I genuinly do have a virus but I have been absent many times before because I know I cant drive or I just feel so ill.

I have a lovely flat and a dog and I have almost burnt it down more than once because I have drank myself into a coma, sometimes before its even 12pm.

I lie, I hide things, I am sneaky and I am not a nice drunk.

I grew up really quick when I moved out at just turned 16 so I was around alcohol alot but I never ever expected it to get this bad.

People keep saying to me that the first step is admitting you have a problem but I did that months ago and I dont feel any better.

I hate to talk this way but I feel really suicidal when I drink. Last night I slept with a carving knife in my bed because my Boyfriend slept on the sofa dn if I had been a little less drunk to stay awake I think I would have done something stupid.

I sometimes feel like I want to drink so much it kills me. I know its so selfish and when it comes to my family and boyfriend, with our past it really is but I want to be someone else, start again.

I would do things so different. I would have stayed in school, gone to Uni,

Never bullied anybody - EVER!

Not slept around as a teenager

been nice to my mum, stayed at home.

The only thing I would never ever change is My Danny.He is the best thing for me but he knows it and he sometimes uses it as a weapon against me.

I undersatnd that he is at his whits end but sometimes is so hurtfuland un-understanding. Its not his fault its mine but that what I'm trying to sort.

Sorry if I offend anyone in these posts I just need to get my thoughts out.

x

Lankylil,

I can remember feeling the despair that you describe. I knew for years before I got sober that I had a drinking problem. Like you, I freely admitted that. Like you, I wasn't capable of not drinking. I was overwhelmed and immobilized. I was drinking before work, before school; I couldn't leave the house without 3 or 4 drinks in me. Finally, I got a moment of clarity; I knew I was going to die or kill someone else. I reached out for help three years ago. My worst days sober are still better than my best days drinking. I was able to get into a residential treatment program. The time I spent there, and A.A., saved my life. I'm over 50 years old. Do you want to wait 30 more years before you start to live again? Think about it.

Ladyrain

I can so relate to your story. So many similar things. I drank for 15 years and the last five were hell beyond the first ten. I want to encourage you to go to AA. The "old timers" are not going to feel that way about you. I was 29 when I first went. There were people there younger than me. The issue is are you having problems because of alcohol. Can you not stop drinking. I think you fit both criteria. Please don't let your age stop you from going for that face to face support that you really need.

My first visit was 25 years ago and I am forever grateful for the support I received there. I was drinking myself to death. There I found a new life. I understand your pain very well and my heart goes out to you. I'm glad you are posting here so we can offer you support, but please check out AA or some other local support group. You really need that additional help.

Hi,

Youre story has many simularities to mine the only difference is i was an alcoholic at 24 but didnt admit it for another 10 years. You have to go to AA you cant solve this by yourself you need help. There are lots of young girls in AA find an open meeting and take your boyfriend with you until you gain confidence he needs to understand this terrible illness you are suffering from as well.If not an all ladies meeting will do, you need people who understand what youre going through, you need true friends who want nothing from you except to see you get well! Ive only been doing meetings myself for a few months and i promise you that there is something in those rooms that works. Most of all you need to talk i lost my kids my whole life and i feel so much guilt and shame i self harm, its turnt me insane but when i go to these places i start to understand myself. The first few weeks i was so traumatised i couldnt take anything in but the more i go the more hope i have. If you eva wanna talk just drop me a note. Alison.

Hi

Just posting back

Since my first post I have ben in treatment in bournemouth for 12 weeks and am now 106 days sober.

I am however strugling with new real life on the outside but am grateful for a sober day today x

Congratulations on the 106 days! Try to take the "new real life" one day at a time. I hope you're going to AA or some sort of support group and that you have people you can talk to to help you through the tough times. Good luck, keep us posted.