Agoraphobic dealing with PTSD Support Group

The reason I was so Happy yesterday, was because my ex-son in law came to see me...Three years ago, he suffered a devestating stroke, one that slmost took his life...A year ago, he had another bad stroke...All of this time, for the past three years, he has been in the hospital! Yesterday, he got a day pass and a nurse drove him up here from Simi Valley. Over an hour...his nurses lives in Palmdale, just 9 miles from me, so bless her heart, she brought him on her way home...

We havent seen each other in about 12 years. Life has changed drasticaly for both of us...

Right now, he is in a long term care facitity in Sun Valley, he has had 4 brain surgeries, and still has a tracheotomy. He is not able to walk more than across a room, and is wheelchairbound for now...(not motorized) .

Paul is a BIG man! 6'10" and about 240 lbs...I live as the crow flies, a mile from the closest bus stop...LOL this gets funny! We decieded to go look at apartments, just to see what might be available...I pushed with all the strength I could muster, and we went all over town, and guess what, we ran into people who gave us great referals to government agencies, socil workers, HUD, Section 8,and we found a subsidized apt complex where the rent is $209 a month plus gas and electric...I am going to call Independant Living Centers of LACounty tomorrow to set up an appt...hopefuly for Tuesday!

W had a GREAT OUTING! We were out for hours, and not one time did I feel unsafe, or afraid, or even anxious! Paul had to catch the MetroLink to get back down to the Valley at 3:15, we got there at around 2 so we went across the street to the TAI Kitchen and had refried rice and just waited for the train. We talked about both of our health issues, our needs, neither of us really or practicly able to live alone...We have decieded to find a place together...We can be independant, living on our own, support each other, be available for any emergencies that could occure, and as a huge pluss, we get along very well!

Paul has other health issues as well, He is diabetic and has high blood pressure, so diet must be mammaged well. That is something I am very good at! And tooting my own horn, I'm a great cook! I have trouble getting outside alone, he understands this, is not pushy, on having to be social! He has experienced in his own way, isolation and the sense of abandonment that comes when you have a catastrofic illness. We can help each other, have independance, live fuller lives, and set our own rules...

This has gotten so long Ill stop for now! We are not going to "RUSH" int osomething that in the long run will prove to be a bad situation or something that will drag us down...We've decided to slow our roll, and do this smart, even if it takes awhile to get things together. Keep our eyes on the prize!!

I'm go EXCITED! And this time, after so many really bad choices and moves last year, feel this is really the right move....

HUGZ,

Reba

Reba, I am soooo happy for you - about everything! What an awesome day you had and with great company too. I hope everything works out the way you want them to. Good luck and keep us informed!!!

PLEASE, PRAY FOR US!

This is a huge step and I've made so many bad choices this past year! That is why we are going to slow don, find the right place, the right price, and the right resourses and agencies to help us!

We could easily go off half cocked, rent rooms in a privite home that would cost at least hald of our combined incomes, and move tomorrow! But that wouldn't be very smart, getting us into another possible bad situation! It's better to wait, find what we need and go from there...

but patients is not something either Paul or I have many of LOL

Reba, this is such a godesnd for both of you. I am glad that you are slowing down and taking it one step at a time. Keep up posted on the progress, that way you can see each step that you have made!

Cheryl

Good Morning!

Well. thismorning I'm calling the Independant Living Center to get some info...I did have a thought about the HUD housing...That is Section 8. The program forces people to live alone. If Paul qualifies for that program the rent will be very low like $210 a month for a 2 bedroom apt. but he has to live by himself, no room mates allowed, and no exceptions...I'll get more info today, try to set up appts, get whatever paperwork is necessary together and just follow the path!

I m still really tired today, and a bit cross and near tears! It pisses me off that I can't control myself! I have no reason to cry!!!

I have had times where I allowed the tears for 20 minutes. I actually set a timer. The tears can be healing for you, a release of tension.

Now, since you are his mother in law, or were, would that qualify you to live with him?

I don't think so...I've been trying to get ahold of ILC but had an out of date phone number. Miss Ruthie said I could use the house phone today to make local calls! That will help alot! Pay as you go cell time is so expensive and goes so quick too!

I don't know if I mentioned it the other day, but when I went to the pharmacy to get my meds, they are no longer accepting Medicare for people under 65. so my meds were over $40! when they are usually just 11...That screwed up my budget big time. I called around this morning for myself and for Paul and found CVS is still offering the Medicare disounts to disabled persons under 65! Thank God! I was really stressing over that too.

I'm taking your advice and letting the tears flow just for a few minutes! For whatever reason this feeling is here, it ust be delt with! LOL Thanks Cheryl.

Love you!

I seem to be running head first into block walls today! Time to stop-, take a deep breath, refocus my thoughts, and try again! Right at this moment, I'm frustrated with so many changes in the system!nThe contact person I had is no longer working there, and I have been redirected to a transition co-ordinator in Van Nuyes. The man I spoke to told me there is a waiting list for HUD from 6 months to 2 years! Pls you guys, pray that there is some loop- hole that we can fit thru!

You bet Reba. I will look into some programs also, I just was approved for Medical along with the Medicare under the Specially Needy Families program. It is based on income and disability. When I find the link I will post it.

You did really well today.

My credit is bad, and it seems that I will hurt Pauls chances more than help him...I feel so sad and useless....and stuck,,,I know this feeling will pass, Iknow if I keep looking and don't give up something will surface...I get discouraged too easily...