Agoraphobic dealing with PTSD Support Group

Today I accept that without truth there is nothing. Truth is the soil out of which sustenance grows to nourish us so that we can move in healthy directions. Lies have no food value and starve my spirit, but truth, as painful as it is sometimes, has a way of hoeing and tilling itself so that some new growth can come. Even though knowing the truth seems unnecessary or too much to carry -- I know it anyway at some level. To bring truth out into the open gives it a chance to lift the veil of secrecy that has made it feel like a beast within and lets it transform into something usable that can again nurture health and life.

I am willing to live with truth.

Truth is the strong compost in which beauty may sometimes germinate. Christopher Morley

Today I will calm myself down. I accept that I can get very anxious, particularly throughout my process of recovery. When I touch the dark and frightening psychic pockets of my past, I disturb the waters of my unconscious. Though I know that I will eventually feel better and be cleaner inside, during the process I live through deep anxiety and night terrors. Feeling, understanding and articulating painful emotions rather than acting them out is new behavior. I will take extra good care of myself when I feel flooded with feelings. I will do things that make me feel good and get extra rest and good food.

I care about myself so I coddle myself when I need it.

Worries go down better with soup than without. Yiddish proverb

Today I recognize the wisdom of seeing and feeling the good in my life. Nothing in life is permanent. What feels good today will pass, but that need not prevent me from enjoying and appreciating it. In the past I experienced a loss of safety and protection and that was traumatic. In an effort to keep myself from that kind of pain I remain hypervigilant. Anything that feels too good I cut in half, and what looks threatening I double, imagining all possible negative scenarios in the hopes of outwitting and avoiding the circumstances of my life. The truth is that I will always have an easy full side to my life along with a problematic side; they run alongside one another. This normal and natural. I can learn t olive with both.

I can live with contradiction.

Observe always that everything is the result of change and get used to thinking that there is nothing Nature loves so well as to change existing forms and make new ones like them. ~Marcus Aurelius~