Agoraphobia Support Group

Hi, my name is Erin and I recently found out that I have agoraphobia. I have known that I have an anxiety disorder (most likely social anxiety) for a long time but recently started developing symptoms of agoraphobia. I am a college student and I was supposed to start my first internship as an Elementary Education major this past Monday. I woke up in the middle of the night in a state of panic. I refused to leave to go to internship despite all attempted coercion from my fiance. From there it all went downhill. Everything I had been able to do perfectly fine before triggered a panic attack. I didn't even want to go to classes anymore and it even terrified me when my fiance wanted to take me out to lunch to make me feel better. I finally agreed to go but was in a I guess lower state of panic where you can still function but you just desperately want that feeling to go away. I finally decided to withdraw from the university for the semester and try to find help with this. Problem is I could have seen a counselor for free until I dropped out of school. Now I have no chance of seeing a counselor because we cannot afford it and no one is accepting new patients. I am already on anti-depressants but they definitely weren't helping this week. After I dropped out of school the panic pretty much went away and I am only as scared as I was before... which is a lot more than I ever realized until I started paying attention to all the things I avoid to keep myself from panicking. I don't know anything to do but to avoid situations that cause panic... sometimes I feel like I would rather have limitations to my life than have to feel that panic. I am probably going to change my major to English next semester because that doesn't require an internship. I figure I could be a writer- that wouldn't require going to work or being around people. I am terrified of having a job- I always have a panic attack and quit within the first 2 days. My fiance says he doesn't care, that he will take care of me- he understands. I wish he didn't have to. I am scared to talk on the phone- I avoid it at all costs. I am terrified of being trapped in a situation, which is why I can't handle a job- I feel trapped. When I look back on my life I see all the things that I have avoided to avoid fear. I wish someone had seen it and helped me. I wish someone would help me now. I don't know what to do.

Hi Erin,

Welcome to the forum. We are so happy you have found us.

Your story is very sad and let me say I sympathize with you but let me assure you you are not alone in the feelings you are feeling.

You say you are on antidepressants, are you taking any medication for anxiety? There is a huge difference between the two. The right medication can make a world of difference. Things can and will get better.

I know the panic terrifies you but it should not, it is not dangerous.

Read my diary entry on the Physiology of Panic if you are still scared of what panic can do to you.

We are all here for you to listen and help and laugh as well.

So glad you found us. Hang around and post any time we care about all people here.

Anna

Hi and Welcome Erin! I, too, sympathize with what you are feeling. I am pretty sure we all do or have at some point. It seems so scary, but Anna is right...there is nothing to truly fear. Besides medication there are other ways to also get relief and help to recover. There is cognitive behavioral therapy and there are several programs out there...maybe ask around, several people on her have tried some of those programs.

I hope you find this site a happy, healthy and helpful part of your recovery.

Hugs!

Angie

Anna- thanks, I just read your diary entry. That is actually very helpful. I am only on 10 mg Lexapro for anxiety. The doctor said that is what I needed to be on for my anxiety. I never have understood how an anti-depressant is supposed to help with anxiety. When I had my day of panic on Monday, my fiance made me take an extra 10 mg Lexapro and 25 mg of Trazadone and that helped a lot. He takes Trazadone for insomnia and anxiety. Obviously we shouldn't share medications or change dosages without talking to a doctor, but we were desperate.

Post edited by: ArtistLuv1, at: 09/23/2009 05:50 PM

I was on Lexapro for anxiety also. It is not only an anti-depressant. It did not work for me, but I have a fear of meds, so maybe that is why. Who knows?

Well I suppose a fear of medication might influence how well it worked, lol. It was working for me, or at least I thought it was, until this week!

hahaha, you got that right. I really hope you find something that works for you. In the meantime, keep coming back here. This place really helps...no, I said that wrong..these PEOPLE really help.

Artist,

You are on a very low dosage of antidepressant. I think you should see a Psychiatrist that specializes in anxiety. There are also other meds that would help you. I take Celexa and Klonopin. It will take the doc figuring out what is best for you. But don't stop with meds, they are only a temporary fix and in my case I will probably take them forever because I never got help, just thinking the meds would cure me. You really need to find a good Cognitive Behavioral Program (CBT). That has been shown to be the best therapy for panic and phobias of any kind. I hope you seek out help so this does not get bigger and you allow your dreams of being a teacher to go out the window. You can do whatever you put your mind to, sometimes we just need some help with our minds. So DON'T give up sweety!!!

Welcome, Erin! Reading what you wrote took me back many many years. I was supposed to go somewhere to get training for work. I had many little ones at home. I couldn't go and didn't know why and cried SO MUCH BACK THEN. I had been going to therapy for MANY years, told I was extremely neurotic!

Now, I learned that there was a name for what I had finally... AGORAPHOBIA after all of those years.

I wasn't crazy and I was able to sit in on a group with others with Agoraphoba, just like me! It helped hearing that others actually had many of the same things happening to them! Over time I couldn't go to the bank or grocery stores and I ended up home bound back then and am a bit home bound agan now. In between I actually was able to workdoing billing at a hospital! I felt so good about myself back then. I had money in the bank and could buy clothes. It made me feel so good about myself! I am busy right now and will stop in when I can. Everyone have a HAPPY day!

I learned some things to do to stop the panic.

We are all here to help each other!

SMILE...YOU ARE IN A GREAT PLACE HERE WITH MANY INTERESTING PEOPLE AND WE ARE ALL BECOMING GOOD FRIENDS. HELPING EACH OTHER THRU THE TOUGH TIMES AND SHARING THE FUN AND HAPPY TIMES! ~CC

Post edited by: CarolynC, at: 09/24/2009 08:43 AM

Post edited by: CarolynC, at: 09/24/2009 08:48 AM

Hi Erin,

Hang in there!

Cheryl