Agoraphobia Support Group

Hi, My name is Carleen. I have Depression, Panic Attacks and Agoraphobia.I have had this for 9 yrs.I had to become the sole caregiver to my Mom in 98.My Dad died in 93 and she became blind in 95. My Sister and I agreed she could have Power of Attorney since she didn't work and I did. Well in 98 when my Mom was staying at my home I was paying her bills and realized that all of her money was gone so I started checking around and her paid off house my Sister had mortgaged to pay off bills of her and her Daus. and buy her Husband a new truck.My Mother being blind it was quite easy for them to do. I had to get a lawyer and to get my Sis. corparation it took about a yr. by this time my Mom became ill and I had to quit my job of 18yrs.,sell my home of 32 yrs. and move to my Mom home.So in a years time I lost my job,my home and my Sister.My Mom died 3 yrs.later so after all of the loss that I had endured Losing my Mom I just shut down.Th Depression comes and goes I never know when it will come onMy Meds. have the Panic Attacks under control but not before I got housebound with Agoraphobia.The past year I have isolated myself to my room.I no longer can stay in the kitchen long enough to cook a meal. My family visits me in my room. My friends are gone but my Husband has been my rock.He took the time to read and understand my condition. Is there anyone else that is confined to a certain place other than just being housebound? I also won't answer the phone. When it rings I get anxious anyone else?

Hi Carleen!

Me, me, me! I spent a good time somewhat trapped to my bedroom. There were many nights for many months when I couldn't stay out long enough to even finish a full dinner. Phone...holy cow! Yep! I'm doing much better now, but still have many, many, many days when I let the answering machine pick up and still won't listen to the messages.

I'm so glad you're posting! Lots of great people here with lots of helpful suggestions!

Hugs,

Jen

Carleen, I have been homebound with agoraphobia many years ago. I am now able to work and hold a full time job-so don't give up. There is hope out there!! Have you had a good physical to make sure nothing else is complicating your condition? A good therapist that you feel safe with and the right medications can make a big difference. Hang in there and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Try to avoid the "what if" thinking that is so common with those of us who have anxiety disorders. Take care, Sandy

Hi Sandy! Great advice! Glad you joined us and posted!

Really glad to hear that you are back to work. That gives me hope also. How long were you off of work before you went back? I've been off work about 2 1/2 years now, but have been going back to college since March. You are definitely right that a good therapist can help! And darn, those "what ifs" are killers. Positive thinking is huge!

Welcome to our group!

Jen

Sandy,

Thank you so much for your incouragement.

Carleen

Jen, I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. I started having panic attacks in high school. They became worse when my husband and I were in Germany while he was in the Army. They improved for a while after we returned. They became much worse and really severe when my youngest son was about to start kindergarden. Began counseling and medication at that time when I became homebound. Was homebound for about 6 months. Gradually began to get out in the world again, even volunteering in my son's kindergarden class. I remained a stay at home mom until he went to college. My aunt suffered a stroke and was in a nursing home at that time. I visited her every day. I saw so many people who just wanted someone to say hi to them or notice them that it really touched my heart. The activity director was a high school friend-and she convinced me to try volunteering after my aunt passed away. That is how I started. It was really difficult at first. I gradually extended my volunteer hours and then took a part time job. I didn't think I was going to be able to work-the panic really bothered me when I was actually scheduled to work for a set number of hours. It's that whole lack of control thing! That was 11 years ago. I am now the activity director at a different facility. And I love my job!! I think the part that is so appealing to me is that I help others so it doesn't allow me to focus so much on myself. It is close to my home-which really works for me. You know I can start "what if" just thinking about working too far from home with the traffic, the stop lights, etc, etc. We have just had 3 Thanksgiving dinners for our families over the past week. I do all the seating arrangements and decorating for these events. Our largest group was about 150 people plus 40 residents that we served on Thursday night. These crowds don't bother me at work. I even love the public speaking part-for our Alzheimer's Support group, volunteer recognition, etc.

Let me just say how much I admire you for going back to college. I don't think I could handle sitting in a classroom. I took all my classes to become an activity director by correspondence and online. I love the studying and learning-just can't handle the thought of being confined in a classroom. So you see that even though I am working full time, I still have my own challenges that I deal with.

Hi Carleen,

First of all welcome. You have found a group of people who understand completely these demons called anxiety, depression and agoraphobia.

Your story is very sad. I am sorry about all the losses you have endured. I am sure having to go into battle with your sister was a extremely stressful for you. I cannot imagine it actually. I wonder if it was not a trigger for you. That and of course taking care of your mom and losing her. I know family illness very well. I lost my mom in 2002. She was ill for many years and suffered extremely. Now my dad has had terminal cancer for the past few years. I am very close with my parents so I know how stressful it all is.

Perhaps you have shut down. Perhaps your experiences have taught you that being out there equals pain. The mind is a complicated thing.

I am so happy you are here. Here we will support you and make you laugh. Give you a break from your troubles and lift you up when you need it. Post and jump in any time, stay with us!

Anna

hi carleen and sandy, just what i need, more women. oh, i'm kidding and so glad you are both here. carleen, you are a strong person. you have been to hell and back and you're still fighting. i am so impressed. you are an inspiration to all of us. and sandy, i am sure you will help a lot of folks here with your knowledge and life story. i'm so happy to welcome you both to our little group and i sincerely hope you stay a long long time. hugs all around, silver

Welcome to the group Carleen, I have been through a little of what you have.

Hi Carleen,

I have been where you are at one point. I remember looking out the bedroom door to the front door and that alone would put me into a panic. I was also confined to my bedroom. It took a good amount of time and a lot of positive thinking which was very hard to get me to take one step at a time. I had to tell myself I was worth it.

If you ever need to talk you can PM (private message) me.

Stay around here for awhile and you will pick up some really good tips of what can help you.