Agoraphobia Support Group

I HATE going to Walmart and yet i have to eat and so I go there every Friday with a relative for groceries and paper goods. I don't want to give in and stop going or limit how often I go. I know that is not healthy and yet I dread it so bad. I would like to know if anyone has suggestions as to how to stop dreading this EVERY week. I try to relax and have a good time but the atmosphere is so cold and sterile. Not to mention the way I feel inside.

Any thoughts?

Hmmm. I'm sorry you dread it so much. Do you think it would be less stressful if you did not have to anticipate going? Maybe your friend could just pop in at a random time or day and say ok, let's do your shopping? Maybe knowing it is coming is causing more uneasiness. Sorry I can't be of more help. Maybe a stress ball or worry stone to keep in your pocket and rub. My friend trained herself to use a worry stone and say the word relax and she is now out and about and making HUGE steps in her recovery...maybe something like that will help?

Hugs!

Hi Sad,

HAHA I feel funny calling you Sad. The relative I go with is VERY regimented. That probly adds to my stress. She is very set in her ways so the Friday deal isn't likely to change. I do like the idea of a worry stone. That might help some.

I worry about failing, as in getting in there and having to leave. I worry I'll faint or throw up or run out of there screaming like a ninny. Whatever a ninny is I don't know. Worry worry. I hate it. I just want to go and relax and get my stuff and go home. I don't know how to stop the worry machine.

Anyhow thanks for the suggestions.

Barbriellen,

I have some mp3's that just might help you. Go to www.knightmaresolutions.com/homies.html

You are free to download anything you would like. Put them on your ipod or mp3 player if you have one and listen to the relaxation. It has helped me out.

I may not be much help because Walmart is an 'avoidance store' for me. When I have to go there, I tell myself that I will be out of there in 10 minutes. If you know you will be there a while (sounds like it), could you set a time limit and then, every 5 minutes or so, just give yourself a silent affirmation to congratulate yourself? The time will be less and less, and you'll realize you are facing your fear!

Best of luck...let us know what it goes, OK?

Ditto. I prefer to shop at smaller stores, although they do not always offer the best selection or value- I find it to be much more relaxing. I try to shop at Kroger or Save a lot.

Otherwise, you would have to shop really late or really, really early?

Good luck!

Barb,

Have you learned much about visualization?

The best thing for me to get through a store is distraction. The line is the worst for me, and I'd always stand there reading through emails on my blackberry that I had already read a million times. Now listening to music through headphones works sometimes. Or if I'm with someone, I just strike up a conversation and focus on that.

Hey Barb, I know exactly how you feel. I used to sit around and think of Target even when I did not have to go. The big stores can seem so overwhelming.... I have luckily been able to get to the point of being able to go to Target alone again. Here are some things that helped me....

1. It is JUST a store. It has no power over you.

2. Give yourself permission to leave at ANY time. Tell your "safe" person you may have to leave. If you do, BE OK with it. It is just fine to give yourself options.

3. Look at it like it is "practice". If you have to leave who cares because you are just practicing going. You will have another chance to go and practice next week.

4. This fear is only a "part" of you. You do not have to define yourself by it. You have many other "parts" inluding one that wants to go.

5. Be rational. Remind yourself you are in no real danger. These are all thoughts. They have no real power over you. Most likely you will not faint or vomit. You are just having "thoughts" about fainting and vomitting.

6. Take your power back. You are a powerful person in the universe. That power is just waiting for you to take back. Just repeat it over and over even if you do not believe it. "I am taking my power back"

7. Acceptance. Just accepting can be the most powerful tool there is.

8. Carry coping statements with you. I kept a list of coping statements with me for a long time. Pick out some favorites that you have. This is a good too because when we are in the middle of a "frenzy" it is hard to focus on what is going on.

The anticipation is the hardest part. Just try to remind yourself you will be ok. You did it last week, you can do it this week!! Best of luck. Let us know how it goes.

I have a list of coping statements too! It fits in my pocket or my wallet, just depends. I laminated it. When I am stressing, i pull it out and start to read it. I had to laminate it because I kind of rubbed a hole in the first one. (LOL)

Cheryl