Agoraphobia Support Group

I have agoraphobia that reared it's ugly head after I quit drinking and I was just out there "raw". I also have bipolar and depression that reared their ugly heads as well after getting sober since I was no longer self medicating.

I have been isolated for over a year now and have zero friends here in NM (long story about how I ended up here but I hate the heat and constant sunshine). Anyway, my Mom has been urging me to go to a face to face support group for bipolar/depression. Unfortunately there are no such groups here for agoraphobia.

I am terrified. a)because I've seen to become socially retarded over the last two years, b)haven't been able to work in two years because of mental illness (I was making almost six figures at one time, now I'm unemployed and drive a "beater car") and c) I've gained 80lbs in 5 months from a mood stabilizer my stupid ex pdoc put me on called Seroquel. In the course of two years I've gone from the happy, perky, pretty, fit girl to bitter, angry, FAT, ugly girl. I've applied for disability and despite ALL my issues and me having a good lawyer, I've been turned down twice and am awatiing an appeal.

Can someone please give me advice on how to handle a face to face support group? I know a lot of my concerns are irrational (for instance them judging me because of my looks), but I just can't seem to get past that.

Any advice would be greatly apprecaited.

Kat

Hi Kat,

I don't go to a a formal support group but I use my friends and family as support. I think support groups are just that, support, you don't have to look perfect or act perfect. Think about the friends you may meet and the other people that might benefit from meeting you. I know as hard as it is we tend to look at the negatives before we realize any of the positives. I always like to remind myself that "perception is not reality" even though people perceive you to be a certain way doesn't mean it is true. Well I hope that helps and I encourage you to meet people that will support you.

Martha

I have not been to a formal support face to face group but I can tell you this, this group has been great for me. I have not been raised with much confidence in myself. I have been a member of this group for about a month or so. Just having a place to share your thoughs and feelings or just your plans for the day with someone who cares and has been where you are is incredable! Keep posting we will respond and you will feel better without a face to face group.

Hi Kat,

I can definitely understand your apprehension. We hide ourselves away almost ready to retreat from the world and yet there is a part of us that desperately wants to belong in that world again. You must feed off that desire. More than that I think you must start trying to see that you, I and everyone here do in fact belong. We are troubled and we have lost our place but we are here and we have every right to be.

I believe joining a support group is a terrific idea. See is as your opportunity to re-enter. Your fear are surely shared by all that will be attending. They will have the same reservations, it is natural. The good thing about that is that they will not have even the slightest desire to judge you, they, like you, will be wondering what you will think of them. You can ease into the group, feel it out, I am sure there will be no pressure put on anyone.

I think you need to make a commitment to yourself that you will go. You are doing this for you, for your future, what greater reason could there be? You feel odd, well so do most people out there? You gained weight, so what, when you are ready you can lose it. Don't sabotage your recovery, don't stand in your own way. Take a chance it could be the breakthrough you have been looking for. You have no idea how I wish there was a support group for agoraphobics somewhere near me. I would go no caring if the people there had three heads and eyeballs on their asses. I would embrace them all regardless. From what I read there your eyeballs are still on your face so you are more than perfect!!!!!

It is not your job, your weight or your perfectionism that makes you special. It is simply the fact that you are you. You are sober, you have already accomplished a lot. You already have courage.

Anna